WAYS TO TURN MEN DOWN
09 August 2007, 08:32 AM
#1
Scooby Regular
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WAYS TO TURN MEN DOWN
WAYS TO TURN MEN DOWN
HIM: Can I buy you a drink?
HER: Actually I'd rather have the money.
HIM: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours
HER: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
HIM: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
HER: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice .
HIM: How did you get to be so beautiful?
HER: I must've been given your share.
HIM: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
HER: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
HIM: Your face must turn a few heads.
HER: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HIM: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
HER: Okay, get out.
HIM: I think I could make you very happy.
HER: Why? Are you leaving?
HIM: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
HER: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HIM: Can I have your name?
HER: Why? Don't you already have one?
HIM: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.
HIM: Where have you been all my life?
HER: Hiding from you.
HIM: Haven't I seen you some place before?
HER: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
HIM: Is this seat empty?
HER: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.
HIM: So, what do you do for a living?
HER: I'm a female impersonator.
HIM: Hey baby what's your sign?
HER: Do not enter.
HIM: Your body is like a temple.
HER: Sorry, there are no services today.
HIM: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
HER: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing
HIM: Where have you been all my life?
HER: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.
HIM: Can I buy you a drink?
HER: Actually I'd rather have the money.
HIM: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours
HER: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
HIM: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
HER: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice .
HIM: How did you get to be so beautiful?
HER: I must've been given your share.
HIM: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
HER: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
HIM: Your face must turn a few heads.
HER: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HIM: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
HER: Okay, get out.
HIM: I think I could make you very happy.
HER: Why? Are you leaving?
HIM: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
HER: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HIM: Can I have your name?
HER: Why? Don't you already have one?
HIM: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.
HIM: Where have you been all my life?
HER: Hiding from you.
HIM: Haven't I seen you some place before?
HER: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
HIM: Is this seat empty?
HER: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.
HIM: So, what do you do for a living?
HER: I'm a female impersonator.
HIM: Hey baby what's your sign?
HER: Do not enter.
HIM: Your body is like a temple.
HER: Sorry, there are no services today.
HIM: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
HER: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing
HIM: Where have you been all my life?
HER: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.
09 August 2007, 08:33 AM
#2
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both at this bar for the same reason."
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"
& this gem for a couple already together...
Man: "Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly".
Woman: "Well, you've succeeded!"
Then there's these....
Does this condom make me look fat?
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, so I phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately, she'd popped her clogs.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.
When I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought: "He's trying to pull a fast one".
I dated this girl for two years and then the nagging started "I want to know your name..............."
She said - "One more word out of you & I'm going back home to mother".
He said - "TAXI!"
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the government.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.
If you upset your wife she nags you.....
If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment.
Don't you think it's worth the extra effort?
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both at this bar for the same reason."
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"
& this gem for a couple already together...
Man: "Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly".
Woman: "Well, you've succeeded!"
Then there's these....
Does this condom make me look fat?
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, so I phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately, she'd popped her clogs.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy.
When I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought: "He's trying to pull a fast one".
I dated this girl for two years and then the nagging started "I want to know your name..............."
She said - "One more word out of you & I'm going back home to mother".
He said - "TAXI!"
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the government.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.
If you upset your wife she nags you.....
If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment.
Don't you think it's worth the extra effort?
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09 August 2007, 11:04 PM
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