Personally? Well here goes - [rant on a bit maybe]

Introduce more variable speed limits.
Only use speed enforcement devices where absolutely necessary e.g. outside schools and make same very obvious.
Increase M/Way Limit to 95 mph.
Ban Transit Vans from lane 3.
Make road markings reflective.
Resurface roads with the asphalt that does not produce spray.
Issue all motorists with HID headlamps.
Issue all pedestrians with reflective clothing.
Teach teenagers that they are not immortal when faced with an oncoming car.
Cut fuel prices in line with USA.
Fund the NHS properly.
Fund schools properly.
Ban fireworks and bonfires (Surely these do more damage to 'the environment' in one hit than all our cars put together?)
Make train journey to London much less than £130.00
Cut the hands off thieves after 3 strikes.
Deal with asylum seekers either way within 28 days.
Scrap the idea of giving asylum seekers cash instead of food vouchers.
Sort out our farming industry post foot and mouth.
Stop lying to public about everything.
Sack John Prescott.
Reduce the price of CD's.
Stop car price rip offs.
Scrap 80% of political correctness (namby, pamby)
Deport/arrest all extremist groups for treason or incitement.
Get rid of all chips on all shoulders.
Scrap new company car tax farce.
Scrap VED.
Review war in Afghanistan. This is a job for MI6, SAS and the CIA. Just go in and get him for God's sake.

If I was ranting [rant off]

Actually, I feel much better for that. Anybody else care to add to the list?

TONY

 

I would make the Copper who stands outside No.10 wear a Funny hat.

 

lol@luke

 

And I would make RonaldoH hold the coppers hand

 

I'd stay celibate...I mean have you seen his wife!
Chuck

 

I'd spend the day reading all the biggest secrets. eg was Roswell true or bullsh*t, JFK assassination, etc etc..


Adrian

 

If I were prime minister for a day :-

- I'd lock all the doors at No 10 and make sure that complete
pr1ck didn't get back in again !!
- Oh, and I'd fully authorise the punching of John Prescott !!
- Introduce indicators on taxis that actually work
- Stop women from driving MPVs and 4x4 during rush hour
(you know the types I mean !!)
- Stop putting those stupid speed humps everywhere and mend
roads that are actually knackered !!
- String theives up by their b******s (after lopping their mits
off) after 3 hits
- Introduce laws to stop loser-teenies from driving around city
centres at night on daddy's soft-top with loud music on
and screeching away from every set of traffic lights trying to
impress birds (sorry, ladies !!)
- Bring price of petrol down in-line with the Aussies (under 30p a
litre when I was last there, and even they were complaining !)
- Televise more theatre and amateur dramatics so people
could actually see where Tony Blair learnt how to be PM.
- Pagger Saddam as well as that Bed Linen bloke
- Get rid of Boy Bands
- NOT hand us over to Europe !!!
- Scrap that silly Euro thing
- Stop blaming everything that Labour have made a bo11ox of
on the previoud government
- Scrap the telly licence ('cos BBC is rubbish !)
- kill off losers like Peter Sutcliffe and that Hindley
tart to stop them costing us tax payers money
- Get rid of Sara *** on Radio 1 in a morning
- Make all cars sold in Britain have Cat 1 security fitted as
standard !
- Reduce the insurance groupings of Subaru Imprezas !!

.... think I'm done now !!

Mind you, its a lot to do in a day..

Rant mode off..

Cheers,

John

 

Oh... nearly forgot,

I'd tell ALL motorists that there's no such thing as a "fast lane" on the motorway (i.e. "Why are you driving up my **** ? I have every right to be in the right-hand lane, I am doing nearly 70mph you know !!")

Plonkers !!

John

(Rant mode definitely off now !!)

 

Make the Civil Service indepedent again.
Remove all Tonies Cronies from the House of Lords
Stop all this bollox about banning xy and z (such as hunting) and concentrate on real issues that affect the majority of people.
Make it legal to defend your own property with a shotgun etc.
Make it illegal to put crappy european fookin football on tv at prime time.
Roll out Linux and StarOffice to all government depts. and then invest the saved money (from MS Crap) in the NHS, teaching etc.
Hold a vote on pulling out of the EU
Put a torpedo in Spanish fishing vessels found off our coast line.
Provide proper funds to our armed forces (air filters anyone?)
Tell all the do gooders to shut the FU and mind their own business.
Bring back gallons at the petrol pumps.
Allow shops to sell produce in whatever measurements their customers want.
....
I havn't even started on speed related issues

 

1/ Raise sponsorship to burn down the Millenium Dome.

You know the thing: organise a "pledge-athon" live TV marathon hosted by Terry Wogan from inside the Dome, complete with telephone donation line. Sell the worldwide TV rights. Encourage kids and fund-raisers to attract cash collection through sponsorship. Charge people a nominal sum (tenner?) to enter the grounds to see the event live. Auction off the job of striking the match. (should raise a bit). Then at midnight, burn the f****r down.

The millions raised (small beer to what was spent) could then be given to worthy charities. Which is where it should have been spent in the first place.

2/ Endorse the building of a "two tiered" M6, for 30 miles over Birmingham and the M5. That way, all those NOT wishing to go to Birmingham (and lets face it, who wants to?) can carry on without getting into a jam each and every day.

3/ Save Railtrack a fortune by paying ME only £250,000PA to run the rail network. I know bugger all about railways, so should fit in nicely.

 

Set about John Prescott with a Baseball bat. Thats about it really!

 

Pass laws to enact the following:


Non-Sensible

Any retail establishment that runs out of an item of stock that I want, has to provide said item to my house within 2 hours, for free or be fined £1gazillion pounds.
Any service provider that gives me poor service, is forced to sit in a bath of cold custard for 5 years.
Make it an offence to be politically correct in a public place - punishable by 10 years of watching Benny Hill continuously.
Ugly people have to stay indoors.
Have separate train/tube carriages for the following: tourists, the unwashed, halitosis sufferers, anyone else I arbitrarily choose.
Anyone who says "I'm no prude but..." is condemned to watch hard core **** for 5 years.
Anyone who spits in a public place is condemned to 5 years of washing pavements outside the nations busiest kebab houses.
Anyone who puts nutmeg in a cocktail has to eat 50 tonnes of nutmeg in one week.
Any barman/women that fails to spot me at any bar to be condemned to 5 years of counting pebbles on a beach in South Georgia.
Introduce a £250 tax, per day, on people who drive their children to school, who live less than 3 miles from the school.


Sensible

Scrap all speed cameras that are not outside schools
Scrap road tax
Bring in MoT discs to replace tax discs
Withdraw the UK from Europe
Organise it so that the UK *never* adopts the Euro
Bring back corporal punishment in schools
Make the driving test harder & more representative of real driving
Make motorway tuition compulsory upon passing test
Make a 3 point offence of "incorrect use of lanes" on motorways/dual carriageways.
Raise the speed limit on motorways to 100mph.


[Edited by Jerome - 10/31/2001 12:51:11 PM]

 

Agree with a lot of what has already been said. First job would be to scrap the Monarchy before morning tea break.Cut the motorists bill i.e. fuel prices and road fund licence. Regain lost revenue by making all non UK vehicles arriving at UK ports buy a temporary road fund licence ( they do this in Switzerland , last year they made me buy one for the Range Rover and the race car on the trailer behind !!! ) Don't our hauliers have to buy an annual one for Benelux countries ? Allow red diesel for same. Stop handing out cash to any whingeing , moaning minority group , asylum seekers or any other non-genuine work shy, shower phobic scroungers who flutter their eyelashes at Tony and John. Then instruct the Lottery commission to hand over 50% of all profits which would then be ploughed straight into health and education not minority interests such as opera and ballet.
Finally , pay myself a huge bonus for the days work and give the P.M.'s job to................ I really do not know, do you ?