what you say CharlySkunkWeed? (ive got you set on ignore also)

 

what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes???
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nothing-you have already told her twice

 

what has 8 legs and makes women scream?.
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gang-rape

 

This guy from over the road was talking to me earlier.

"My wife's just told me she's been having an affair with Dave the milkman," he confided.

"What? That fat ugly ****er I see every morning outside your house?"

"Yes," he laughed, cheering up.

"Why would Dave the milkman want to **** that?"

 

They say that 1 in 11 people live next door to a paedophile. Not me..... my next door neighbour is a 13 year old girl with cracking ****!

 

 

heres one for ya'll

whats the worst thing about licking a bald fanny?
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putting the nappy back on afterwards

 

Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFOs and aliens.

Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted.

 

whats blue and doesnt move?
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cot death.........

 

i think we have a winner haha

 

A cannibal once passed his brother in the woods .......................

 

what do i win????

 

Ah, that takes me back to the baby jokes, such as...

Q: What is red, and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A baby chewing a meat hook!

mb

 

**** sake, think this is the sickest so far!

 

I told my wife that Bob down the pub said he has shagged every single woman in our road ... except just one!!

She said, "I bet that's the stuck up bitch at number 20!"

 

And an open "question"...

What is the difference between a pile of sand and a pile of babies?

 

What's the best thing about ******** a seven-year old girl?
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You can turn her round and pretend it's a seven year old boy

 

you can't wipe your **** with a pile of babies.

 

whats black and blue and hates sex?
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A rape victim......

 

you havent got a pile of sand in your basement

 

there was a girl standing on a cliff and she was crying,

and a paedeophile walks up to her and says,"whats wrong with you,"

she says,"my mam and dad just died",he drops his pants and says,

"well its not your ****in day is it"?...

 

I said, "Darling, let's try something new in the bedroom... I'll get some chocolate spread, some whipped cream, and a few strawberries.

"Then I'll paint my **** with the chocolate spread, and call the kids in for a 'special treat'. Then, one by one, I'll pop the strawberries up my ****, squirt cream down my crack, and while Emily deepthroats me for the last of the chocolate, Jessica can my lick my arsehole and swallow strawberries as I **** them out.

"Then it'll be time to pop their cherries. I'll start with Jess cos she's already 9, she'll be a bit more developed. While I'm ****ing her childish vagina, Emily can lick up the blood and get her own tiny **** ready for a good stretching.

"Then I'll finish off by banging them in the **** a couple of times before squirting my creamy load over their faces. Shall we give it a go?"

My wife looked stunned. "OVER MY DEAD BODY!" she said.

I said, "**** me, you're into some weird ****."

 

why shouldn't you take the p*ss out of a retarded dwarf?



cos its not big and its not clever

 

right this is my last one and has got to be my most vile joke i know-mods please dont ban me..................

Whats Black And Has 27 ****?
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A Bin Liner From The Cancer Ward

 

A guy's wife seems poorly so he gets the doc to run some tests.

Doc phones chap with results and says "Your wife's either got Aids or Altzeimers". "What do I do" asks the guy, "How do I tell?"

Doc says "Take her to the bus terminal in the middle of town. If she makes it home, don't f,uck her".

dl

 

There's some sick **** being posted in here!

I haven't laughed at any of them so far, honest!

 

aahhh **** it............1 more

whats 3 foot tall and stands at the end of your kids bed?
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gary glitters boots

 

You shouldn't practice with Parkinsons mate

 

i just cant help myself...........

Whats red and smells of holly?






Ian Huntley's ****

 

whats green and smells of pork?
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kermits fingers