Notices
Non Scooby Related Anything Non-Scooby related

Had some really bad news about my wife :(

Thread Tools
 
Search this Thread
 
Old Oct 29, 2012 | 08:56 PM
  #31  
Lisawrx's Avatar
Lisawrx
Moderator
iTrader: (1)
 
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 9,729
Likes: 1
From: Where I am
Default

Edd, I can only echo the above. I am thinking of you and your family and hope everything turns out ok.

Take care.
Reply
Old Oct 29, 2012 | 09:00 PM
  #32  
chocolate_o_brian's Avatar
chocolate_o_brian
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (22)
 
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 21,415
Likes: 0
From: Doncaster, S. Yorks.
Default

Edd, we've had some great banter over the years and I genuinely wish you the best of luck with Kelly and the impending little ones arrival. Always on the other end of a keyboard if you want to vent on here or Facebook mate,

Take care

Andy and Nat
Reply
Old Oct 29, 2012 | 09:01 PM
  #33  
nizmo80's Avatar
nizmo80
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (2)
 
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,719
Likes: 0
From: the rev limiter
Default

OMG so sorry to hear this
I hope everything turns out well
Reply
Old Oct 29, 2012 | 09:05 PM
  #34  
FlightMan's Avatar
FlightMan
Scooby Regular
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 6,652
Likes: 0
From: Runway two seven right.
Default

Sorry to hear your sad new Edd. As said above my thoughts are with you at this terrible time. Stay strong for your wife abut also make sure you have someone to talk too.

Best of luck to you both.
Reply
Old Oct 29, 2012 | 10:28 PM
  #35  
Evolution Stu's Avatar
Evolution Stu
Administrator
20 Year Member
iTrader: (2)
 
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 4,464
Likes: 0
From: Blackpool, Uk. Destination: Rev Limiter.
Default

Really sorry to read this Edd, nothing I can say will make any difference so all I can do is wish you the best.
Reply
Old Oct 29, 2012 | 10:39 PM
  #36  
Turbohot's Avatar
Turbohot
Scooby Regular
 
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 48,539
Likes: 0
Default

So sorry to hear that, Edd. Stay strong.
Reply
Old Oct 29, 2012 | 10:40 PM
  #37  
Brun's Avatar
Brun
Scooby Senior
20 Year Member
 
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 14,231
Likes: 5
From: Harrogate
Default

Reply
Old Oct 29, 2012 | 10:41 PM
  #38  
SkullFudge's Avatar
SkullFudge
Scooby Regular
 
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,258
Likes: 0
Default

That's awful mate as sorry to hear of your news.
My Sister was diagnosed with it and now 10 yrs later she is still doing fine, so it's not always bad news dude.
Reply
Old Oct 29, 2012 | 10:41 PM
  #39  
Cannon Fodder's Avatar
Cannon Fodder
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (100)
 
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 13,684
Likes: 0
From: Planet Earth
Default

I was shocked when I read your post, I know it's not easy but you have to stay positive (not easy as I know from experience) but your good lady will be looking to you for support and re-assurance.

You have my best wishes and I hope that everything turns out well for you and your family.
Reply
Old Oct 29, 2012 | 11:42 PM
  #40  
J4CKO's Avatar
J4CKO
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (1)
 
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 19,384
Likes: 1
Default

Sorry to hear that Edd, all the best mate.
Reply
Old Oct 29, 2012 | 11:47 PM
  #41  
EddScott's Avatar
EddScott
Thread Starter
Scooby Regular
 
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 12,575
Likes: 65
From: West Wales
Default

Can't thank you all enough for your kind words. It's really tough right now and having to hide the extent of the problem from our daughter is making it hard to find time to have a good old fashioned break down. She will be 11 next week and she knows mummy has a bad leg and her baby sister might have to come early so mummy can be made well quicker. That will do for now.

I bumped into the oncology doctor on my way up to her and asked some questions I didn't want my wife to hear. I asked about the scans and what did she think the long term outlook was and she said it depends what you mean by long term. I said months or years and she said hopefully years. It depends how it responds to the radiotherapy. She said sometime it shrivels up after a few sessions other times it doesn't.

Only told one person about the conversation and felt terrible for mentioning it so keeping the conversation to myself from now on. I know it sounds awful but I cant imagine how I'm going to cope with a baby and a child in secondary school on my own. I have lots of support but it isn't the same.

My emotions are everywhere right now. My wife ran her own hair salon and ringing the clients today to tell them we have had to close was really tough.

I'll probably not be on much over the next weeks and months but will update the thread when we know more. Again, big thanks to everyone. When it's others I this situation I never know what to say in threads.

Last edited by EddScott; Oct 29, 2012 at 11:49 PM.
Reply
Old Oct 29, 2012 | 11:56 PM
  #42  
bustaMOVEs's Avatar
bustaMOVEs
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (31)
 
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 12,979
Likes: 30
From: The 2dr club
Default

Again so sorry to hear this ed, made me shingle a bit, my thoughts and prayers are with you and the missus and unborn child, hope to god everything goes well for you.
God bless.
Reply
Old Oct 30, 2012 | 02:32 AM
  #43  
BOB.T's Avatar
BOB.T
Scooby Senior
 
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 14,810
Likes: 0
From: Radiator Springs
Default

Best wishes!
Reply
Old Oct 30, 2012 | 07:55 AM
  #44  
Ant's Avatar
Ant
Scooby Regular
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 9,243
Likes: 0
From: Notts
Default

Damn . I feel for you and your family edd, I hope you get the best news and results possible .
Reply
Old Oct 30, 2012 | 08:52 AM
  #45  
gpssti4's Avatar
gpssti4
Scooby Regular
20 Year Member
iTrader: (6)
 
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 4,404
Likes: 1
From: Deepest Darkest Kernow
Default

Bad news fella. Try to keep positive, this bas*ard CAN be beaten. My wife had cancer about 10 years ago and she is fine and well. Fingers crossed for you all.
Reply
Old Oct 30, 2012 | 09:18 AM
  #46  
fitzscoob's Avatar
fitzscoob
Scooby Regular
 
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 4,000
Likes: 0
From:
Default

Hi Edd

Not much any of us can say that doesnt echo the previous comments on here. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.

Mark
Reply
Old Oct 30, 2012 | 10:14 AM
  #47  
Simon K's Avatar
Simon K
Scooby Regular
 
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 928
Likes: 0
Default

Hi Edd. Although we've never spoken, my thoughts, hopes and positive thoughts go to you and your family. Ive had a lot cancer my in family so can understand where your mind is at. At the moment your head is up /down and all over the place but the shock will settle and you sort of go into `we will beat this` mode.

Its very easy to concentrate of the negative side of statistics, as people never consider themselves to be in the positive / remission group. Being positive, you now know its there, it can now be operated / fixed, as timing is what makes a cancer curable / terminal.

You sound like a good guy, and a good father, so you just need to carry on being yourself, being dad, looking after your daughter and your new little bundle which is on the way, as well as looking after your lady. Have you many friends / family in the area, as these are the times when you need these most.

You can do it mate, keep strong and stay positive. :-)

SBK
Reply
Old Oct 30, 2012 | 10:32 AM
  #48  
mrtheedge2u2's Avatar
mrtheedge2u2
Scooby Regular
20 Year Member
Liked
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,194
Likes: 31
Default

Edd, terrible news.

Did they say which form or cancer of the kidney it is? Renal Cell Carcinoma or something else??

If you need any further information then drop me a message and I will see what I can do.
Reply
Old Oct 30, 2012 | 11:01 AM
  #49  
Tony Harrington's Avatar
Tony Harrington
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (8)
 
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,928
Likes: 1
From: Wigan
Default

Originally Posted by EddScott
Can't thank you all enough for your kind words. It's really tough right now and having to hide the extent of the problem from our daughter is making it hard to find time to have a good old fashioned break down. She will be 11 next week and she knows mummy has a bad leg and her baby sister might have to come early so mummy can be made well quicker. That will do for now.

I bumped into the oncology doctor on my way up to her and asked some questions I didn't want my wife to hear. I asked about the scans and what did she think the long term outlook was and she said it depends what you mean by long term. I said months or years and she said hopefully years. It depends how it responds to the radiotherapy. She said sometime it shrivels up after a few sessions other times it doesn't.

Only told one person about the conversation and felt terrible for mentioning it so keeping the conversation to myself from now on. I know it sounds awful but I cant imagine how I'm going to cope with a baby and a child in secondary school on my own. I have lots of support but it isn't the same.

My emotions are everywhere right now. My wife ran her own hair salon and ringing the clients today to tell them we have had to close was really tough.

I'll probably not be on much over the next weeks and months but will update the thread when we know more. Again, big thanks to everyone. When it's others I this situation I never know what to say in threads.
It's times like this that put everything into perspective for all of us Edd, a close mate of mine went through a very painful divorce some years ago as well as suffering mental health issues & he said people who gripe & grumble about the slightest of things of life have never had a real crisis.

There is so much truth to what he said, thankfully he has come through this dark period & times are much better.

I thank you for your courage in posting this thread please try to take heart, strength & confidence that so many people are with you & your family especially when the fear of your circumstance seeks to take hold.

Make sure you do have someone in your world that you can talk to & share with as this will help to keep you grounded as all kinds of thoughts & emotions will be swirling around your mind minute by minute.

Take care Edd
Reply
Old Oct 30, 2012 | 11:42 AM
  #50  
chet123's Avatar
chet123
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (7)
 
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 867
Likes: 0
From: London
Default

that is such bad news mate - why the ar$eholes didnt listen to you in the first place when you first reported the pain in her right hip pain.

Keep your head up mate, as above your wife and baby need you to be strong to get through this bad patch.

Good luck mate
Reply
Old Oct 30, 2012 | 11:56 AM
  #51  
jonc's Avatar
jonc
Scooby Regular
 
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 7,647
Likes: 22
Default

Sorry to hear of your predicament, there's not much I can really say that hasn't been said already. I hope everything works out for you and your family.
Reply
Old Oct 30, 2012 | 01:40 PM
  #52  
Carlh's Avatar
Carlh
Scooby Regular
 
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,757
Likes: 0
From: Telford
Default

edd, im gutted for you. i cant imagine what you're feeling right now.

Get your family and friends around your wife - she needs all the support you can all give her right now.
Reply
Old Oct 30, 2012 | 01:53 PM
  #53  
ScoobyDoo555's Avatar
ScoobyDoo555
Scooby Regular
 
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 11,217
Likes: 0
From: Does it matter?
Default

Cant say any more than what has been already said, but I can echo the deepest support already shown on here.

I, for one, will be giving my wife an extra hug tonight - can't begin to imagine what you're going through.

Dan
Reply
Old Oct 30, 2012 | 02:44 PM
  #54  
ScoobyDriverWannabe's Avatar
ScoobyDriverWannabe
Scooby Regular
 
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,446
Likes: 0
From: Sunderland
Default

Thoughts are with you and your family.
Reply
Old Oct 30, 2012 | 03:11 PM
  #55  
Leslie's Avatar
Leslie
Scooby Regular
 
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 39,877
Likes: 0
Default

I am so sorry to hear all that terrible news and I hope very much that all goes well for you all.

Les
Reply
Old Oct 30, 2012 | 04:59 PM
  #56  
Lydia72's Avatar
Lydia72
Scooby Regular
 
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,294
Likes: 0
From: Pleiades
Default

Sending best wishes to your family. A cancer diagnosis is a nightmare at any time but during pregnancy is particularly cruel.
Reply
Old Oct 30, 2012 | 10:55 PM
  #57  
Ste RB5138's Avatar
Ste RB5138
Scooby Regular
 
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,077
Likes: 0
From: The Potteries
Default

Very sad to read this, you have got to somehow try and be strong at this horrible time.
I just hope it works out for you both.
Reply
Old Oct 31, 2012 | 09:30 PM
  #58  
Stevesbluewrx's Avatar
Stevesbluewrx
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (4)
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 3,662
Likes: 0
From: Also known as The Gimp
Default

Edd, I really can't find the words to say.

I wish you all the very best for the near future and the recovery process.


Steve
Reply
Old Oct 31, 2012 | 09:42 PM
  #59  
TonyBurns's Avatar
TonyBurns
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (3)
 
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 25,565
Likes: 2
From: 1600cc's of twin scroll fun :)
Default

Sorry to hear this Edd it will be a bumpy ride for your family during this time, dont look at it as an end to everything, the success rate for curing cancer is pretty high but its the bit between curing and diagnosis which gives you the hardest time.
Fingers crossed for you, your wife and your family and best wishes that all goes well

Tony
Reply
Old Nov 10, 2012 | 11:14 AM
  #60  
EddScott's Avatar
EddScott
Thread Starter
Scooby Regular
 
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 12,575
Likes: 65
From: West Wales
Default

So yesterday we had the meeting with the oncology professor. He confirmed what we already knew in that the cancer isn't curable. However, it is treatable. He did say that although its not good news the fact that the cancer isn't in life threatening areas then she isn't in immediate danger. He is waiting for further tests as he thinks the cells are from the tubes going from the kidney to the bladder rather than the kidney itself. He said this information is needed to determine how to treat her.

The obstetrician said he'd prefer her to go another 2 weeks so baby is passed the 32 week stage. The Prof said waiting a while won't make any difference to her prognosis.

And at this point I have a problem.

For this meeting she was moved from Withybush to Singleton. Maternity ward to maternity ward. Withybush have catered for her needs impeccably considering the medication and her comfort needs are quite different to the usual mother and baby needs.

Singleton in the last 24 hours has been extremely difficult for her.

They didn't have the right medication for her, they can't get her the right bed she needs (airbed) they can't even provide a jug of iced water. On a couple of occasions the midwives have said she shouldn't even be on maternity because they can't deal with her needs properly. Considering she was told she has terminal cancer yesterday she had a terrible time up there. She was in tears on the phone to me and other family members last night. Her texts are all over the place due to the meds which is a worry in itself.

They want to move her to a cancer ward and at this point I'm having to step in.

Unfortunately with it being a Saturday and it would appear that if you are going to be ill try not to make it a weekend. I am going up there later to try and get to speak to the consultants on call and try to get them to agree to move her back to Withybush. It just doesn't make sense to keep her there for 2 weeks in an environment she is very unhappy in and can't adequately look after her (not blaming anyone as I appreciate she isn't the usual pregnant mother). If nothing is going to happen for another 2 weeks why not place her in the right environment. She is comfortable in Withybush, they can look after her suitably and from a social point of view she has local friends and family. Its only an hour down the road but to some it may as well be a different country.

I don't want to upset anyone and I am not going in for a fight. I want to be firm and understanding and put my point across that it just isn't logical to keep her there an uncomfortable and adding increased stress on the ward she is in now. However, if I truly can't get them to agree quickly I'll take her notes, dose her up with oramorph and drive her back to Withybush. I went there this morning and asked them if they would accept her back, they said it should really be done properly but however she ends up there they will take her in as they agreed to keep her room free in case she did come back.

I don't want to upset the consultants, the Prof in particular and I will be eternally sorry if I upset him but my wife comes first.

Last edited by EddScott; Nov 10, 2012 at 11:16 AM.
Reply



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:28 AM.