Had some really bad news about my wife :(
29 October 2012, 09:00 PM
#32
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (22)
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Doncaster, S. Yorks.
Posts: 21,415
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Edd, we've had some great banter over the years and I genuinely wish you the best of luck with Kelly and the impending little ones arrival. Always on the other end of a keyboard if you want to vent on here or Facebook mate,
Take care
Andy and Nat
Take care
Andy and Nat
29 October 2012, 09:05 PM
#34
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Runway two seven right.
Posts: 6,652
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Sorry to hear your sad new Edd. As said above my thoughts are with you at this terrible time. Stay strong for your wife abut also make sure you have someone to talk too.
Best of luck to you both.
Best of luck to you both.
29 October 2012, 10:41 PM
#39
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (100)
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 13,684
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I was shocked when I read your post, I know it's not easy but you have to stay positive (not easy as I know from experience) but your good lady will be looking to you for support and re-assurance.
You have my best wishes and I hope that everything turns out well for you and your family.
You have my best wishes and I hope that everything turns out well for you and your family.
29 October 2012, 11:47 PM
#41
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Can't thank you all enough for your kind words. It's really tough right now and having to hide the extent of the problem from our daughter is making it hard to find time to have a good old fashioned break down. She will be 11 next week and she knows mummy has a bad leg and her baby sister might have to come early so mummy can be made well quicker. That will do for now.
I bumped into the oncology doctor on my way up to her and asked some questions I didn't want my wife to hear. I asked about the scans and what did she think the long term outlook was and she said it depends what you mean by long term. I said months or years and she said hopefully years. It depends how it responds to the radiotherapy. She said sometime it shrivels up after a few sessions other times it doesn't.
Only told one person about the conversation and felt terrible for mentioning it so keeping the conversation to myself from now on. I know it sounds awful but I cant imagine how I'm going to cope with a baby and a child in secondary school on my own. I have lots of support but it isn't the same.
My emotions are everywhere right now. My wife ran her own hair salon and ringing the clients today to tell them we have had to close was really tough.
I'll probably not be on much over the next weeks and months but will update the thread when we know more. Again, big thanks to everyone. When it's others I this situation I never know what to say in threads.
I bumped into the oncology doctor on my way up to her and asked some questions I didn't want my wife to hear. I asked about the scans and what did she think the long term outlook was and she said it depends what you mean by long term. I said months or years and she said hopefully years. It depends how it responds to the radiotherapy. She said sometime it shrivels up after a few sessions other times it doesn't.
Only told one person about the conversation and felt terrible for mentioning it so keeping the conversation to myself from now on. I know it sounds awful but I cant imagine how I'm going to cope with a baby and a child in secondary school on my own. I have lots of support but it isn't the same.
My emotions are everywhere right now. My wife ran her own hair salon and ringing the clients today to tell them we have had to close was really tough.
I'll probably not be on much over the next weeks and months but will update the thread when we know more. Again, big thanks to everyone. When it's others I this situation I never know what to say in threads.
Last edited by EddScott; 29 October 2012 at 11:49 PM.
30 October 2012, 08:52 AM
#45
30 October 2012, 10:14 AM
#47
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 928
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Hi Edd. Although we've never spoken, my thoughts, hopes and positive thoughts go to you and your family. Ive had a lot cancer my in family so can understand where your mind is at. At the moment your head is up /down and all over the place but the shock will settle and you sort of go into `we will beat this` mode.
Its very easy to concentrate of the negative side of statistics, as people never consider themselves to be in the positive / remission group. Being positive, you now know its there, it can now be operated / fixed, as timing is what makes a cancer curable / terminal.
You sound like a good guy, and a good father, so you just need to carry on being yourself, being dad, looking after your daughter and your new little bundle which is on the way, as well as looking after your lady. Have you many friends / family in the area, as these are the times when you need these most.
You can do it mate, keep strong and stay positive. :-)
SBK
Its very easy to concentrate of the negative side of statistics, as people never consider themselves to be in the positive / remission group. Being positive, you now know its there, it can now be operated / fixed, as timing is what makes a cancer curable / terminal.
You sound like a good guy, and a good father, so you just need to carry on being yourself, being dad, looking after your daughter and your new little bundle which is on the way, as well as looking after your lady. Have you many friends / family in the area, as these are the times when you need these most.
You can do it mate, keep strong and stay positive. :-)
SBK
30 October 2012, 10:32 AM
#48
Edd, terrible news.
Did they say which form or cancer of the kidney it is? Renal Cell Carcinoma or something else??
If you need any further information then drop me a message and I will see what I can do.
Did they say which form or cancer of the kidney it is? Renal Cell Carcinoma or something else??
If you need any further information then drop me a message and I will see what I can do.
30 October 2012, 11:01 AM
#49
Can't thank you all enough for your kind words. It's really tough right now and having to hide the extent of the problem from our daughter is making it hard to find time to have a good old fashioned break down. She will be 11 next week and she knows mummy has a bad leg and her baby sister might have to come early so mummy can be made well quicker. That will do for now.
I bumped into the oncology doctor on my way up to her and asked some questions I didn't want my wife to hear. I asked about the scans and what did she think the long term outlook was and she said it depends what you mean by long term. I said months or years and she said hopefully years. It depends how it responds to the radiotherapy. She said sometime it shrivels up after a few sessions other times it doesn't.
Only told one person about the conversation and felt terrible for mentioning it so keeping the conversation to myself from now on. I know it sounds awful but I cant imagine how I'm going to cope with a baby and a child in secondary school on my own. I have lots of support but it isn't the same.
My emotions are everywhere right now. My wife ran her own hair salon and ringing the clients today to tell them we have had to close was really tough.
I'll probably not be on much over the next weeks and months but will update the thread when we know more. Again, big thanks to everyone. When it's others I this situation I never know what to say in threads.
I bumped into the oncology doctor on my way up to her and asked some questions I didn't want my wife to hear. I asked about the scans and what did she think the long term outlook was and she said it depends what you mean by long term. I said months or years and she said hopefully years. It depends how it responds to the radiotherapy. She said sometime it shrivels up after a few sessions other times it doesn't.
Only told one person about the conversation and felt terrible for mentioning it so keeping the conversation to myself from now on. I know it sounds awful but I cant imagine how I'm going to cope with a baby and a child in secondary school on my own. I have lots of support but it isn't the same.
My emotions are everywhere right now. My wife ran her own hair salon and ringing the clients today to tell them we have had to close was really tough.
I'll probably not be on much over the next weeks and months but will update the thread when we know more. Again, big thanks to everyone. When it's others I this situation I never know what to say in threads.
There is so much truth to what he said, thankfully he has come through this dark period & times are much better.
I thank you for your courage in posting this thread please try to take heart, strength & confidence that so many people are with you & your family especially when the fear of your circumstance seeks to take hold.
Make sure you do have someone in your world that you can talk to & share with as this will help to keep you grounded as all kinds of thoughts & emotions will be swirling around your mind minute by minute.
Take care Edd
30 October 2012, 11:42 AM
#50
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (7)
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: London
Posts: 867
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
that is such bad news mate - why the ar$eholes didnt listen to you in the first place when you first reported the pain in her right hip pain.
Keep your head up mate, as above your wife and baby need you to be strong to get through this bad patch.
Good luck mate
Keep your head up mate, as above your wife and baby need you to be strong to get through this bad patch.
Good luck mate
30 October 2012, 01:40 PM
#52
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Telford
Posts: 2,757
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
edd, im gutted for you. i cant imagine what you're feeling right now.
Get your family and friends around your wife - she needs all the support you can all give her right now.
Get your family and friends around your wife - she needs all the support you can all give her right now.
30 October 2012, 01:53 PM
#53
Scooby Regular
Cant say any more than what has been already said, but I can echo the deepest support already shown on here.
I, for one, will be giving my wife an extra hug tonight - can't begin to imagine what you're going through.
Dan
I, for one, will be giving my wife an extra hug tonight - can't begin to imagine what you're going through.
Dan
31 October 2012, 09:42 PM
#59
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (3)
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: 1600cc's of twin scroll fun :)
Posts: 25,565
Likes: 0
Received 2 Likes
on
2 Posts
Sorry to hear this Edd 
it will be a bumpy ride for your family during this time, dont look at it as an end to everything, the success rate for curing cancer is pretty high but its the bit between curing and diagnosis which gives you the hardest time.
Fingers crossed for you, your wife and your family and best wishes that all goes well
Tony
it will be a bumpy ride for your family during this time, dont look at it as an end to everything, the success rate for curing cancer is pretty high but its the bit between curing and diagnosis which gives you the hardest time.Fingers crossed for you, your wife and your family and best wishes that all goes well
Tony
10 November 2012, 11:14 AM
#60
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
So yesterday we had the meeting with the oncology professor. He confirmed what we already knew in that the cancer isn't curable. However, it is treatable. He did say that although its not good news the fact that the cancer isn't in life threatening areas then she isn't in immediate danger. He is waiting for further tests as he thinks the cells are from the tubes going from the kidney to the bladder rather than the kidney itself. He said this information is needed to determine how to treat her.
The obstetrician said he'd prefer her to go another 2 weeks so baby is passed the 32 week stage. The Prof said waiting a while won't make any difference to her prognosis.
And at this point I have a problem.
For this meeting she was moved from Withybush to Singleton. Maternity ward to maternity ward. Withybush have catered for her needs impeccably considering the medication and her comfort needs are quite different to the usual mother and baby needs.
Singleton in the last 24 hours has been extremely difficult for her.
They didn't have the right medication for her, they can't get her the right bed she needs (airbed) they can't even provide a jug of iced water. On a couple of occasions the midwives have said she shouldn't even be on maternity because they can't deal with her needs properly. Considering she was told she has terminal cancer yesterday she had a terrible time up there. She was in tears on the phone to me and other family members last night. Her texts are all over the place due to the meds which is a worry in itself.
They want to move her to a cancer ward and at this point I'm having to step in.
Unfortunately with it being a Saturday and it would appear that if you are going to be ill try not to make it a weekend. I am going up there later to try and get to speak to the consultants on call and try to get them to agree to move her back to Withybush. It just doesn't make sense to keep her there for 2 weeks in an environment she is very unhappy in and can't adequately look after her (not blaming anyone as I appreciate she isn't the usual pregnant mother). If nothing is going to happen for another 2 weeks why not place her in the right environment. She is comfortable in Withybush, they can look after her suitably and from a social point of view she has local friends and family. Its only an hour down the road but to some it may as well be a different country.
I don't want to upset anyone and I am not going in for a fight. I want to be firm and understanding and put my point across that it just isn't logical to keep her there an uncomfortable and adding increased stress on the ward she is in now. However, if I truly can't get them to agree quickly I'll take her notes, dose her up with oramorph and drive her back to Withybush. I went there this morning and asked them if they would accept her back, they said it should really be done properly but however she ends up there they will take her in as they agreed to keep her room free in case she did come back.
I don't want to upset the consultants, the Prof in particular and I will be eternally sorry if I upset him but my wife comes first.
The obstetrician said he'd prefer her to go another 2 weeks so baby is passed the 32 week stage. The Prof said waiting a while won't make any difference to her prognosis.
And at this point I have a problem.
For this meeting she was moved from Withybush to Singleton. Maternity ward to maternity ward. Withybush have catered for her needs impeccably considering the medication and her comfort needs are quite different to the usual mother and baby needs.
Singleton in the last 24 hours has been extremely difficult for her.
They didn't have the right medication for her, they can't get her the right bed she needs (airbed) they can't even provide a jug of iced water. On a couple of occasions the midwives have said she shouldn't even be on maternity because they can't deal with her needs properly. Considering she was told she has terminal cancer yesterday she had a terrible time up there. She was in tears on the phone to me and other family members last night. Her texts are all over the place due to the meds which is a worry in itself.
They want to move her to a cancer ward and at this point I'm having to step in.
Unfortunately with it being a Saturday and it would appear that if you are going to be ill try not to make it a weekend. I am going up there later to try and get to speak to the consultants on call and try to get them to agree to move her back to Withybush. It just doesn't make sense to keep her there for 2 weeks in an environment she is very unhappy in and can't adequately look after her (not blaming anyone as I appreciate she isn't the usual pregnant mother). If nothing is going to happen for another 2 weeks why not place her in the right environment. She is comfortable in Withybush, they can look after her suitably and from a social point of view she has local friends and family. Its only an hour down the road but to some it may as well be a different country.
I don't want to upset anyone and I am not going in for a fight. I want to be firm and understanding and put my point across that it just isn't logical to keep her there an uncomfortable and adding increased stress on the ward she is in now. However, if I truly can't get them to agree quickly I'll take her notes, dose her up with oramorph and drive her back to Withybush. I went there this morning and asked them if they would accept her back, they said it should really be done properly but however she ends up there they will take her in as they agreed to keep her room free in case she did come back.
I don't want to upset the consultants, the Prof in particular and I will be eternally sorry if I upset him but my wife comes first.
Last edited by EddScott; 10 November 2012 at 11:16 AM.