KOT, sincere sympathy mate

as suggested above, think of all the good times you shared and also think of your future actions which would make him proud.

i still have both my parents, so don't really know what you are going through, but it happens to everyone at some point, thats a given.

time will be the best healer, but passing away without suffering is probably the way we'd all like to go.

be strong for people around you and dont be afraid to show your emotions.

best wishes bud

 

Cheers everyone I was hoping to see him today but a doctor has to see him first to establish actual death. I went to pick some photos and his phone was lying on the floor where he fell. truly harrowing

 

Desperately sorry to hear of your loss KOT. My dad died unexpectedly and I understand exactly how you feel. Time heals eventually but I still think of my dad often and how I miss him. After the funeral it will get easier.

Les

 

KOT. i'm so sory of your loss mate

 

So sorry to hear of your loss Kot.

IMO don't take your son, he's old enough now to have lasting memories of his grandad, make sure they're all good.

My mum-in-law passed away when our daughter was 4, she never went to the funeral its too early for them to understand it all imo

 

i dont think ye do old boy... i think ye just kinda heal over time, my dad is coming back to uk and we are staying in oz, he's 66 and i aint coming back anytime soon so i know the next time i see him, he probably wont be speaking... so i have been thinking of this kinda **** for weeks.... sorry for you're loss man, take care !

 

so sorry for your loss , i know how you feel i lost my dad 7years ago . fortunatly he was only in hospital for 1week but the doctors told us he had been ill for ages but ignored it . refused to give in till all his grandchildren had grown to a age when they will remember him. my mum followed him 5 years later , that was the real hard part, feeling all alone in the world , but i realised i wasnt as i have my wife and kids and they mean everything to me , keep your family close to your heart dont shut anyone out as they are allk feeling the same as you . and take condolence from the fact that time is a great healer , you never forget them/.memories just fade and you only remember the good times after a while .

 

KOT, sorry to hear about your loss. My dad died nearly 2.5 years ago and it's true the pain does fade. Think long and hard about seeing him. I saw my dad afterwards and whilst he looked at peace, it's still a harrowing image that lives with me every day. I'd rather not have done it but my wife insisted (bloody women). You've fond memories, perhaps it's better to remember him that way; like I said think before you do anything.
You also need to be strong for your family. Myself, being an only child, didn't have siblings to turn to, but I had to be strong for my wife (who worshiped him), mother, stepmother, grandmother, auntie etc.
Take care.

 

thoughts with you mate.just lost mate in my platoon in afghan yesterday and close as family.just keep your head up and think of all the good times that made you laugh.its also a time to be strong and support each other.

 

KOT Stay with family chap sorry not much help.

 

Strangely one of the things that gave me comfort (my Dad passed at 56 years) was how common it was. There have been a few threads on SNet over the years and to see that other people had gone through the same was comforting, as about now I expect you feel like you are the only person it has happened to.

 

Sad news mate but I think you're doing the right thing by asking for advice.

My dad died just over two years ago and it is VERY difficult to cope with the loss.

The age old family, friends etc work wonders.

 

Its a total c*nt, nobody can really say anything that will help, nobody can really do anything either, you just have to suck it up and get on with it.

My old man passed away 2 years ago (aged 50?!) just before christmas, bad times.

The only thing that helps is time................................
It gets a easier

 

It does help hearing of other peoples experiences definitely the hardest thing I have had to do, the coroner has rang today though an said they need to do an autopsy and I cannot see him until after surely I should see him before they cut him up. It just seems like he is going to walk through the door until I can see him and say my goodbyes.
Friends and family have been fantastic but the paramedics said he died of cardiac arrest so why the autopsy

 

The coroner usually asks for one in the case of sudden death, especially if your dad hadn't seen a doctor recently.
And, easy for me to say, but don't blame yourself for not insisting he went to the GP (if he was anything like my parents he would have to be dragged there kicking and screaming).

 

I'm such a feejit sometimes; I just looked at the calender and its four years tomorrow As such, I'm going into the workshop for the day to strip down an Audi; Tinkering with cars gives me mental relief (or diversion).

KOT; My dad had to have an autopsy too, I don't recall being prevented seeing him before the autopsy though. Although I didn't take the chance to see him again beforehand, owing to me being the one riding in the ambulance with him. The autopsy does give answers though (or should do), which kind of helps in a way.

 

So sorry kot, I think its just one of those things you just have to make your way through as best you can, just need to meet it head on.

It is the way life is, though 70 is no age these days it fits in with the natrual order of parents going beofre their kids and its probably something most people will have to go through, it just makes me think that whoever you have around you you should make the most of, don't take anybody for granted and it certainly doesnt sound like you did, sounds like the pain you are feeling is the result of having a great relationship with him, celebrate that and though it is raw now, one day in the not too distant future you will look up and realise you are on your way to feeling something towards normal.

I remember getting back off holiday once to be met by the whole family at the airport to be told my grandad had died, it funny, twenty one years on and I still think of him most days, but in a good, not sad way.

 

Definately dont take your young son to see him .

My mum asked if I wanted to go and see my dad ,but I said I did not want to .I wanted the memories that were in my head to be the way I remembered him ,not lying in a coffin .I still feel it was the right thing for me .

Played Eva Cassidy ,Somewhere over the Rainbow at his funeral and for weeks after ,I would play it over and over again ,cried a lot ,but it gave me comfort .

Keep strong fella for the rest of your family .

 

do as you see fit and dont give in to the guilt that was the worst thing for me and lasted a very long time if you can spend some time alone with your dad do so it helped me to make my peace condolances steve.b

 

It will soon be 4 years that my mum died and it sometimes feels like just weeks. I dont want to get over it, it still feels too soon. I hope you can stop blaming yourself as that makes it harder to deal with it but it is natural that you beat your self up.

Make sure you stay in touch with everyone here, it will help to keep you grounded. It did me, i dont know what i would have done if SN hadn't of existed. Sometimes family are too close to you and you need some space.


When my sister died i wanted to see her a few days later. I wish i hadnt as it was horrible. It ruined how i imagined she was. I didnt see my mum when she died and i am glad i didnt.

I hope you find a way through this, its wont be easy but you will do it.

 

It has been said already - it gets better with time, but will take a whole year to go through all the Birthdays, anniversarys, fathers days, Christmas etc. Sorry if its not what you want to hear, but beyond this things do get better. I lost my dad two years ago after a courageously fought battle with Alzheimers disease, which stole his memory and personality. The memories stolen from him live on with me, as vividly as the day we created them. Although I would love to spend just one more day with my dad, I have the memory of him with me every day.

You are not on your own mate, lean on those around you, they will be happy to offer their support. If you want a non-judgemental ear, PM away mate.

Get to know your parents fellas, all too soon they will be taken from you.

 

Sorry to hear this desperately tragic news.

 

Sorry for your loss KoT. x

 

Thoughts are with you and your family.

 

So sorry to hear of your Loss. Just be with your Family and Friends, you need them as much as they need you. Take Care.

 

Sorry to read of your loss KoT

deepest regards, Paul

 

sorry to hear this mate just be strong it will get easier in time all the best Jim.

 

I'm starting to get angry with the hospital now, twice I have rang only to be promised they will let me know what is happening and twice they have failed to do so.
I checked my answerphone messages earlier and I came across one from my Dad sounding chirpy as ever, that was hard.

 

That must be so weird, hope you are bearing up, strange, never met you but have thought about what you are going through quite a bit.

 

Im saddened to read this Kot.

Id echo others opinions and say dont take your son. I saw my mother (thirty-odd years, almost to the day) when I was little; and it still troubles me now. Whether it will help you I cant say, although I suspect not.

Simon