Bullys What do you do
15 December 2009, 09:06 PM
#31
A second thread off the day must be my new wireless lol.
The other night my little boy said he didnt want to go to school again which is strange. So after a bit off sitting on my knee and duffing him up he said that 2 boys at school have been telling everyone else not to play with him and being nasty to him.
So i told him not to be silly and go to school followed by lots more duffing up giggerling. So yesterday i drove past school and noticed my lad sat in corner off playground looking at floor with his jacket on by himself
I am biast but my lad is the loveliest thing in the world he will play with any one he feeds the street and shares everything.
So today i walked him to school and noticed one off the kids dads with his dogs walking to school as well.
I walked my lad into class put his jacket and lunchbox on his peg and gave him a cuddle i dont normally do that but today was different.
the i mentioned to a teacher what had been going on she was lovely and said my boy was a lovely lad and she would keep an eye out.
On way out i waited for other lads dad and pulled him as well. Simply said excuse me fella can i have a word and explained what had been happening, to which he just smirked.
So i said ill do it this way mate your lad picks on mine again and ill pick on you.
So then iv rung misses and told her what iv donr about it. Shes called me an immature pr1ck and hung up!!!!!!
What would you have done?
Should mention my boy is 5 but does struggle abit with his talking. but his heart is 100% in he right place
The other night my little boy said he didnt want to go to school again which is strange. So after a bit off sitting on my knee and duffing him up he said that 2 boys at school have been telling everyone else not to play with him and being nasty to him.
So i told him not to be silly and go to school followed by lots more duffing up giggerling. So yesterday i drove past school and noticed my lad sat in corner off playground looking at floor with his jacket on by himself
I am biast but my lad is the loveliest thing in the world he will play with any one he feeds the street and shares everything.
So today i walked him to school and noticed one off the kids dads with his dogs walking to school as well.
I walked my lad into class put his jacket and lunchbox on his peg and gave him a cuddle i dont normally do that but today was different.
the i mentioned to a teacher what had been going on she was lovely and said my boy was a lovely lad and she would keep an eye out.
On way out i waited for other lads dad and pulled him as well. Simply said excuse me fella can i have a word and explained what had been happening, to which he just smirked.
So i said ill do it this way mate your lad picks on mine again and ill pick on you.
So then iv rung misses and told her what iv donr about it. Shes called me an immature pr1ck and hung up!!!!!!
What would you have done?
Should mention my boy is 5 but does struggle abit with his talking. but his heart is 100% in he right place
15 December 2009, 09:41 PM
#32
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pikey
Judging by your pic your boy looks pretty happy mate.
My 5 year old boy has been going to martial arts for a few months now and they teach them how to handle bullies...surprisingly they insist on running away or telling a teacher / parent....only if your trapped and cannot run then they say you can use the skills they teach you.
I'd say leave it and keep a close eye on him.
Judging by your pic your boy looks pretty happy mate.
My 5 year old boy has been going to martial arts for a few months now and they teach them how to handle bullies...surprisingly they insist on running away or telling a teacher / parent....only if your trapped and cannot run then they say you can use the skills they teach you.
I'd say leave it and keep a close eye on him.
15 December 2009, 09:48 PM
#33
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Strength in numbers, he needs a small bunch of buddies, so they can look after each other, bullies tend to be a bit sad and have "a mate" who tolerates them..... my old man took my to boxing club, needed it twice in 13 years.
dunx
Last edited by dunx; 15 December 2009 at 09:54 PM.
15 December 2009, 10:02 PM
#34
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My brother suffered merciless bullying at school, this destroyed his confidence and has seriously damaged him as a person, bullying is therefore something I utterly deplore.
I read this thread and I can't help thinking there's an awful lot of alpha-male BS flying around, apparently the cure for bullying is to have a fight with the father of someone suspect bullying, come let's get real that is no answer, although it would make my blood boil too seeing him smirk.
The only solution to this is the school, this is happening on their premises your child is in their care, they are responsible. If my children gets bullied it's the school that gets the brunt of my anger. Believe me if you make it clear that they're responsible and be relentlessly on their case...they will sort it.
I read this thread and I can't help thinking there's an awful lot of alpha-male BS flying around, apparently the cure for bullying is to have a fight with the father of someone suspect bullying, come let's get real that is no answer, although it would make my blood boil too seeing him smirk.
The only solution to this is the school, this is happening on their premises your child is in their care, they are responsible. If my children gets bullied it's the school that gets the brunt of my anger. Believe me if you make it clear that they're responsible and be relentlessly on their case...they will sort it.
16 December 2009, 07:57 AM
#36
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I dont think I woul have dealt with it any differently.....I'd want to wipe the off his face though....might have even told him that.
I was bullied when I was in my early teens and it wasn't nice. Looking back it seemed it was everyday something would happen with this one lad. My dad did the same as you but it didnt stop. I took my dad to beat the living daylights out of his dad twice for it to stop.
I grew some a few years later and did it myself.....funny this was we enede up on the same rugby team.....I was asked not to come again after beating him up on the touch line.
I was bullied when I was in my early teens and it wasn't nice. Looking back it seemed it was everyday something would happen with this one lad. My dad did the same as you but it didnt stop. I took my dad to beat the living daylights out of his dad twice for it to stop.
I grew some a few years later and did it myself.....funny this was we enede up on the same rugby team.....I was asked not to come again after beating him up on the touch line.
16 December 2009, 09:21 AM
#37
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My brother suffered merciless bullying at school, this destroyed his confidence and has seriously damaged him as a person, bullying is therefore something I utterly deplore.
The only solution to this is the school, this is happening on their premises your child is in their care, they are responsible. If my children gets bullied it's the school that gets the brunt of my anger. Believe me if you make it clear that they're responsible and be relentlessly on their case...they will sort it.
The only solution to this is the school, this is happening on their premises your child is in their care, they are responsible. If my children gets bullied it's the school that gets the brunt of my anger. Believe me if you make it clear that they're responsible and be relentlessly on their case...they will sort it.
16 December 2009, 10:12 AM
#38
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Bullying in schools shouldn't be tolerated. Beating up the other dad is immature, do you really think that is going to solve the problem, Pikey? All that will happen is it will make you feel better, it won't stop your son from being excluded from the group. You will however end up in trouble with the police & you may even get you son excluded from his school.
Speak to the school & demand they do something. Enrol your son into Karate classes, it will help him with discipline, self control & self defense.
Good luck!
Speak to the school & demand they do something. Enrol your son into Karate classes, it will help him with discipline, self control & self defense.
Good luck!
16 December 2009, 10:48 AM
#39
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I'd support him going to martial arts too, I went when I was in junior school, I suffered a bit of bullying at the time, the bullys found out I went and soon backed off, I never had to use it at the time, maybe used it twice in the last 28 years. I think it teaches children disipline and responsibility, if it's a decent teacher they will really stress that onto a child
16 December 2009, 10:58 AM
#40
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I feel really sorry for your boy Pikey. Children can be so unfair I'm afraid, I remember the bullies at school when I was there. They get a kick out of being hard on a lovely lad like yours.
What we did at school was that a bunch of us got one of the bullies by himself and we just took him apart. I even remember his name-Charley Daly! About 6 of us little blokes duffed him up and the other bullies were watching. We never had any trouble with any of them again!
This may of course be impossible for your lad to do. I think you did the right thing by discussing it with the teacher. If is continues and the school does nothing about it then I think you have to got to higher authority. That bullying treatment will be bad for your lad's confidence as well as making him unhappy.
The only way with the father is to approach him in a polite manner and ask him if he knows about the bullying from his son. That way you cannot be blamed for anything. You can then ask him to control his son since that is his responsibility. If he ignores you or is unpleasant to you then further action is down to you. At least keep yourself on the right side of civilised action when you approach him. Difficult for people like that to do much back if you have not given the excuse.
Les
What we did at school was that a bunch of us got one of the bullies by himself and we just took him apart. I even remember his name-Charley Daly! About 6 of us little blokes duffed him up and the other bullies were watching. We never had any trouble with any of them again!
This may of course be impossible for your lad to do. I think you did the right thing by discussing it with the teacher. If is continues and the school does nothing about it then I think you have to got to higher authority. That bullying treatment will be bad for your lad's confidence as well as making him unhappy.
The only way with the father is to approach him in a polite manner and ask him if he knows about the bullying from his son. That way you cannot be blamed for anything. You can then ask him to control his son since that is his responsibility. If he ignores you or is unpleasant to you then further action is down to you. At least keep yourself on the right side of civilised action when you approach him. Difficult for people like that to do much back if you have not given the excuse.
Les
16 December 2009, 11:17 AM
#41
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I dont really want to get him into any martial arts lessons because if he doesnt know how to fight he wont do it.
I taught him how to punch a while ago hes even quite good at swinging his elbow in behind his fist. But he relates this to playing about and only to do it to me or his uncle etc.
His teachers said this morning that he made 2 new friends yesterday so im happy at that. This morning was abit rough as its his xmas party so went in is new K-swiss trainers combats and a grey tanktop. looked a proper dude Even with the sack off cakes and crisps his mum has suplied him for the party. But even as we got nearer school he said he had tummy ache and im hoping it wasnt an excuse to try and get out off school.
Again walked him into class and got that knot in the back off your throat you get when i was saying goodbye.
See how he is when he gets back in. If it hasnt stopped even tho it will cause a big arguement i dont see why i shouldnt be able to go round and see ther kids dad
I taught him how to punch a while ago hes even quite good at swinging his elbow in behind his fist. But he relates this to playing about and only to do it to me or his uncle etc.
His teachers said this morning that he made 2 new friends yesterday so im happy at that. This morning was abit rough as its his xmas party so went in is new K-swiss trainers combats and a grey tanktop. looked a proper dude Even with the sack off cakes and crisps his mum has suplied him for the party. But even as we got nearer school he said he had tummy ache and im hoping it wasnt an excuse to try and get out off school.
Again walked him into class and got that knot in the back off your throat you get when i was saying goodbye.
See how he is when he gets back in. If it hasnt stopped even tho it will cause a big arguement i dont see why i shouldnt be able to go round and see ther kids dad
16 December 2009, 11:19 AM
#42
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Doesn't have to be a real reason. Not fighting back is probably a good part of it.
Reminds me of the film on last night... Bad Santa. The kid goes from...
YouTube - Bad Santa - Bullying scene
to...
YouTube - Bad Santa - Willie teaches the kid to box
and finally...
YouTube - Bad Santa Best Part
Basically, kick em in the spuds.
5t.
Reminds me of the film on last night... Bad Santa. The kid goes from...
YouTube - Bad Santa - Bullying scene
to...
YouTube - Bad Santa - Willie teaches the kid to box
and finally...
YouTube - Bad Santa Best Part
Basically, kick em in the spuds.
5t.
YouTube - Bad Santa - Santa beats the **** out of bratty kid
16 December 2009, 11:22 AM
#43
I didnt loose plot with them mate i was fine with them i never said i had lost plot with them.
Not a shop keeper a sales bloke at pc world for talking to misses like she was thick i even gave him about 5 minutes off doing so before saying anything. And i didnt loose plot then either i said it calmly didnt even raise my voice.
Iv said that to misses since day 1 and its more like a joke idle threat.
And yes i did threaten bloke at school i am guilty off that.
Im not a bad person mate just protective off my family
Not a shop keeper a sales bloke at pc world for talking to misses like she was thick i even gave him about 5 minutes off doing so before saying anything. And i didnt loose plot then either i said it calmly didnt even raise my voice.
Iv said that to misses since day 1 and its more like a joke idle threat.
And yes i did threaten bloke at school i am guilty off that.
Im not a bad person mate just protective off my family
What age are you anyway - late 30's?
You threatened someone with violence on childish "or else"
You touch that guy and your sharing a cell with big bubba and we all know what'll happen then.
Plus when that happens, what sort of example is that showing to a 5 year old
Have a word by all means if you feel you must.
But do it in a "grown up" way and not a "My da's bigger than your da"
16 December 2009, 11:42 AM
#44
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I think you need to catch yourself on.
What age are you anyway - late 30's?
You threatened someone with violence on childish "or else"
You touch that guy and your sharing a cell with big bubba and we all know what'll happen then.
Plus when that happens, what sort of example is that showing to a 5 year old
Have a word by all means if you feel you must.
But do it in a "grown up" way and not a "My da's bigger than your da"
What age are you anyway - late 30's?
You threatened someone with violence on childish "or else"
You touch that guy and your sharing a cell with big bubba and we all know what'll happen then.
Plus when that happens, what sort of example is that showing to a 5 year old
Have a word by all means if you feel you must.
But do it in a "grown up" way and not a "My da's bigger than your da"
Im 28 fella If i was childish id have done what was done with me and so many off my mates if we got bullied got done to us.
Dragged to school and told to fight the bully. And if you didnt youd get a slap any way.
Also if i was immature it would probably be my kids being the bullys as they wouldnt have any respect for anything or anybody.
The only fear i have off prison is loosing the wife and kids iv been and done it and know that big bubba is a fictional character lol.
Im not a particully big lad and im not all that bright (im good at cars thats it) But i am really protective off my family.
I dont know how to put it but ill try,
My little boy is mint he will do anything for anybody he doesnt pronounce his words as well as he should as in the word four he pronounces "war" and five is "wive" But he trys really hard to get better at it, I dont see why it is acceptable for him to get picked on by anybody. So if some one is picking on him and i have to see my boy looking down about it what am i meant to do? iv spoken to teachers and kids dad so if its not fixed then i know the other kids dad hasnt tried to sort it so if words dont work what am i meant to do???
16 December 2009, 01:12 PM
#45
I have children of my own, so I know how you feel.
But...................
Beating the father up on the basis on a story from your own child is just completely daft.
And at a subsequent court appearance the judge hearing that it because your 5 year old son said so wouldn't go down too well.
I said by all means go have a word didn't I, but not to use violence.
And this thread plus other threads recently would nearly characterize you as a bit of a thug in the laws eyes
But...................
Beating the father up on the basis on a story from your own child is just completely daft.
And at a subsequent court appearance the judge hearing that it because your 5 year old son said so wouldn't go down too well.
I said by all means go have a word didn't I, but not to use violence.
And this thread plus other threads recently would nearly characterize you as a bit of a thug in the laws eyes
16 December 2009, 01:23 PM
#46
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At 5 years old kids don't care about what trainers others are wearing, all they want to do is play. At that age boys are usually fine, yes they'll have spats but its all forgotten next time - try the girls thats another story, lol
But even at 5 you'll have the confident ones and the not so confident ones, you'll have sensitive types and ones that are less so. Some kids will be more popular than others, thats the way it goes. To give your boy as much confidence in making freinds and interacting with others is to involve them with the others as much as you can, after school clubs etc, arranging play dates to ask his new friend over for tea, or perhaps a few friends - don't wait until his birthday etc. Also of course as parents there are things you can do to interact with other parents, or should I say like minded parents - school fund raising activities etc, school clubs (footy team perhaps?). Then from that involvement your son will not only know more kids but also their parents which brings more confidence.
Teaching him to punch and you threatening other parents isn't the way forward IMO. If there is a problem then sort it via the correct school channels, combatting bullying is a top priority and a complaint should be taken very seriously.
But even at 5 you'll have the confident ones and the not so confident ones, you'll have sensitive types and ones that are less so. Some kids will be more popular than others, thats the way it goes. To give your boy as much confidence in making freinds and interacting with others is to involve them with the others as much as you can, after school clubs etc, arranging play dates to ask his new friend over for tea, or perhaps a few friends - don't wait until his birthday etc. Also of course as parents there are things you can do to interact with other parents, or should I say like minded parents - school fund raising activities etc, school clubs (footy team perhaps?). Then from that involvement your son will not only know more kids but also their parents which brings more confidence.
Teaching him to punch and you threatening other parents isn't the way forward IMO. If there is a problem then sort it via the correct school channels, combatting bullying is a top priority and a complaint should be taken very seriously.
16 December 2009, 02:42 PM
#47
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A second thread off the day must be my new wireless lol.
The other night my little boy said he didnt want to go to school again which is strange. So after a bit off sitting on my knee and duffing him up he said that 2 boys at school have been telling everyone else not to play with him and being nasty to him.
So i told him not to be silly and go to school followed by lots more duffing up giggerling. So yesterday i drove past school and noticed my lad sat in corner off playground looking at floor with his jacket on by himself
I am biast but my lad is the loveliest thing in the world he will play with any one he feeds the street and shares everything.
So today i walked him to school and noticed one off the kids dads with his dogs walking to school as well.
I walked my lad into class put his jacket and lunchbox on his peg and gave him a cuddle i dont normally do that but today was different.
the i mentioned to a teacher what had been going on she was lovely and said my boy was a lovely lad and she would keep an eye out.
On way out i waited for other lads dad and pulled him as well. Simply said excuse me fella can i have a word and explained what had been happening, to which he just smirked.
So i said ill do it this way mate your lad picks on mine again and ill pick on you.
So then iv rung misses and told her what iv donr about it. Shes called me an immature pr1ck and hung up!!!!!!
What would you have done?
Should mention my boy is 5 but does struggle abit with his talking. but his heart is 100% in he right place
The other night my little boy said he didnt want to go to school again which is strange. So after a bit off sitting on my knee and duffing him up he said that 2 boys at school have been telling everyone else not to play with him and being nasty to him.
So i told him not to be silly and go to school followed by lots more duffing up giggerling. So yesterday i drove past school and noticed my lad sat in corner off playground looking at floor with his jacket on by himself
I am biast but my lad is the loveliest thing in the world he will play with any one he feeds the street and shares everything.
So today i walked him to school and noticed one off the kids dads with his dogs walking to school as well.
I walked my lad into class put his jacket and lunchbox on his peg and gave him a cuddle i dont normally do that but today was different.
the i mentioned to a teacher what had been going on she was lovely and said my boy was a lovely lad and she would keep an eye out.
On way out i waited for other lads dad and pulled him as well. Simply said excuse me fella can i have a word and explained what had been happening, to which he just smirked.
So i said ill do it this way mate your lad picks on mine again and ill pick on you.
So then iv rung misses and told her what iv donr about it. Shes called me an immature pr1ck and hung up!!!!!!
What would you have done?
Should mention my boy is 5 but does struggle abit with his talking. but his heart is 100% in he right place
16 December 2009, 03:26 PM
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The end highlights the need to stand on their own two feet eventually though. I'm not sure the coolest trainers etc will do it. Stereotype time but I know the bully types at our school were all chavs of the highest order. they didn't have loads of money and had knock off stuff if it was anything approaching cool.
Since the stuff that is cool with bully types is generally chav i wouldn't want to dress my boy to fit in with them, let him be his own person, that's the only thing I think you need to look at.
5t.
16 December 2009, 06:52 PM
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Bullying
Been there, Done it. It does sort itself out eventually with a few tears sleepness nights and endless worry. My son was bullied and l so much wanted to take the law into my own hands but its not worth it. Good luck mate and l hope things improve.
16 December 2009, 08:24 PM
#51
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No they didn't, we didn't know what was going on until I joined the same school, he's 3 years older than me. By then most of the damage was done. I remember many occasion ending up in scraps with boys much much bigger than me trying to help him out.
These days it's possible to make life very difficult for a school on this, they have to deal with this.
These days it's possible to make life very difficult for a school on this, they have to deal with this.
16 December 2009, 09:57 PM
#54
if it happens again get a letter into the school (goes on file if written), there are plenty of templates online. had this at the start of the year with our 5 year old. made an appointment and spoke with the head, they had the other kids parents in (well known little **** - his parents fault - zero discipline at home). anyhow it seems to have stopped, for now.
16 December 2009, 10:34 PM
#55
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I dont know if its different down south, but in Scotland when bullying is reported to the school they have to act on it by law. Their first port of call will be to take it up with the police. I know from a friend's experience that this system has worked very effectively and they just took a back seat.
17 December 2009, 12:20 AM
#56
Have you actually got to the root of this bullying, or is it just that he is shy and spends time alone/isn't included by other kids?
I understand there are a couple of boys being nasty, but at this age surely being sensible this can be resolved. If he is under confident or has something kids pick up on as a weakness, you need to work with the teachers, and your son, and get to the bottom of this now. Threats of violence aren't necessarily the right approach.
If you can't establish what is happening now, he will either end up violent himself, or end up always being a victim.
I understand there are a couple of boys being nasty, but at this age surely being sensible this can be resolved. If he is under confident or has something kids pick up on as a weakness, you need to work with the teachers, and your son, and get to the bottom of this now. Threats of violence aren't necessarily the right approach.
If you can't establish what is happening now, he will either end up violent himself, or end up always being a victim.
17 December 2009, 10:33 PM
#57
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I've just picked my way through the thread but ffs .... "So today i walked him to school and noticed one off the kids dads with his dogs walking to school as well"
What does that mean ?
What does that mean ?
17 December 2009, 11:16 PM
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Why bring the dogs into it ? It it because that he has dogs that your son is getting bullied ? Is it because he has dogs that the father is a bully ?
Seems a bit strange to bring the dogs into the thread.
17 December 2009, 11:19 PM
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