Bullys What do you do
 

A second thread off the day must be my new wireless lol.

The other night my little boy said he didnt want to go to school again which is strange. So after a bit off sitting on my knee and duffing him up he said that 2 boys at school have been telling everyone else not to play with him and being nasty to him.
So i told him not to be silly and go to school followed by lots more duffing up giggerling. So yesterday i drove past school and noticed my lad sat in corner off playground looking at floor with his jacket on by himself
I am biast but my lad is the loveliest thing in the world he will play with any one he feeds the street and shares everything.

So today i walked him to school and noticed one off the kids dads with his dogs walking to school as well.

I walked my lad into class put his jacket and lunchbox on his peg and gave him a cuddle i dont normally do that but today was different.

the i mentioned to a teacher what had been going on she was lovely and said my boy was a lovely lad and she would keep an eye out.

On way out i waited for other lads dad and pulled him as well. Simply said excuse me fella can i have a word and explained what had been happening, to which he just smirked.
So i said ill do it this way mate your lad picks on mine again and ill pick on you.

So then iv rung misses and told her what iv donr about it. Shes called me an immature pr1ck and hung up!!!!!!

What would you have done?

Should mention my boy is 5 but does struggle abit with his talking. but his heart is 100% in he right place

I think you did everything right mate....you reassured your boy by walking him into school, you mentioned to his teacher what was happening and then you tried speaking to the boys father.

The fact the guy just smirked shows the example he's probably setting his son, I would leave it for a few days and see if anything changes, if it doesn't then you need to have another word with the school....or could have another 'word' with his dad :)

Calling you an immature prick is unfair....you're probably like me....a mature one :D :D

As the only English kiddie in a Scottish school at your son's age I was bullied on a daily basis, every breaktime. In the end my parents took me to Judo classes, as soon as I put one of them on their back, it soon stopped. Teachers never seem to be there at the right time and sorting out the father will probably only land you in trouble.

Shes just gone to pick him up ill see what hes like when he gets in if hes upset ill let him go rev bike up abit. hes got his xmas party tommorow nite and been looking forward to it if he doesnt want to go ill know theres summat up.

He honustly doesnt do a thing wrong and iv gone out off my way to make sure he has best off what i could get him he has respect for everything he has and looks after it.

Its funny because i though if i got him decent trainers and things he wouldnt get picked on. how wrong was i!

I can't stand bullies, they're nothing but scum.
The smirk tells you everything you need to know.
At least you know where the problem is now.

Not having a pop at your Mrs, but what would her solution be?

You can only leave this in the hands of the school for a couple of weeks at the most, then you have to step in and help your lad.
The danger is that if other kids see him being picked on as a soft target it may escalate unfortunately.

One of my girls was picked on at school by two sisters much bigger than she was. I asked the school to sort it out, but ended up going to see their old man.
I'm no hard nut but I made it quite plain that I wasn't going to stand for any of his crap and that I held him responsible and I would be round to see him again if it didn't stop.
He said his brother and brother in law would be round to put me in hospital, a typical response from him I later discovered.
The bullying stopped and I never found the need to re-visit him or call for an ambulance.

Best of luck sorting this out :thumb:

Doesn't have to be a real reason. Not fighting back is probably a good part of it.

Reminds me of the film on last night... Bad Santa. The kid goes from...
YouTube - Bad Santa - Bullying scene

to...
YouTube - Bad Santa - Willie teaches the kid to box

and finally...
YouTube - Bad Santa Best Part

Basically, kick em in the spuds.

5t.

Schools wont do anything unless you force their hand. They tell you they will keep an eye out but this is just empty words.

My eldest when he started primary school at age 4 had his face pushed into a brick wall and came away all cut and grazed. Another 4 year old had pinned up against the wall :rolleyes:

I wasn't best pleased and so called the school. When they gave me the same old words of oh we'll keep an eye on it I gave them two options - 1, they either sort it properly by talking to the boys parents or 2, i'll come down to the school the next day and have it out with the boy and his parents in front of all the other parents at the school.

I was told they would talk to the boys parents that evening and get back to me. Funnily enough that boy didn't bother my son again.

Tough call.

Personally threatening the parent is a bad idea. I was a bit of a school bully back in the day. Something I regret now. Only started at Comprehensive school as people thought they'd pick on me because I wear specs. I could handle myself though, and once I got a reputation for being able to handle myself, it sort of spiraled.

Anyway, my parents knew nothing, so if someone had gone round threatening my old man, it would have been the first he'd heard about it. I'd have then made a point of kicking the kid about every lunch break for having my Dad threatened.

My advise is get your kid to self defence classes. As said by someone else, once the bully ends up on his back, he'll get no trouble. Just don't let it go to his head, like it did with me.

I wont be giving it 2 days mate let alone 2 weeks. If hes not happy when he gets in there will be 5 or 6 off my mates to pick him up tommorow night after school and making a point off doing so. The reason now dicovered by text the misses got in a mood is she doesnt want me getting in to trouble.

Its rough as it doesnt matter how tough you think you are when ur boys getting picked on and you cant just stop it it gets to you lol.

I would say going up to the bloke is the worst thing you can do. I am not saying your lad is not telling you the truth, but this happened to me and I had some chav scum mum in my face! I hardly ever pick my daughter up from school as I work full-time, but this particular week I was ill, so went to get her. I had this woman saying my daughter had done x, y and z and that she was putting a complaint in to the school. I asked daughter to come over and explain, she didn't know what the woman was talking about, so I then went to see the teacher.

Now, by this point I was shaking, not used to confrontation and certainly don't encourage it! So went to speak to the teacher and she said the kid who complained had got it all wrong and was there when the said "incident" had happened. She said she would have a word with the mum as soon as she could.... I am still waiting for an apology.... :mad:

So, I'm not saying that your lad lied, you saw for yourself how unhappy he is and that he was not being played with, but by doing the confronting yourself, you have opened yourself up to it. I would have approached the school first and if they didn't do anything about it, then had a word with the dad.

Good luck anyway, everything else you did was very supportive and fatherly! :)

I think you did the right thing mate. My blood is boiling just reading your post, I hate bullies.

Get him to Karate classes so he can defend himself so it doesn't turn physical.

Hope it gets sorted

You seriously need to calm down fella, this is 5 year olds we are talking about not the mafia.
Ive got a son of the same age and he sometimes comes back telling me someone has been picking on him.
Let him fight his own battles, he will become stronger for it.
Getting involved with an attitude like this is only going to make things worse.

I dont really want him doing aggressive things as i dont want him ending up like me. He is surrounded my big lads that are all handy all the time when my mates come round.

Clare thats fair to say but i really do know 100% that he wouldnt tell me unless it was upsetting him. Next time a chav mum gets close to your face accidently sneeze hey presto chav mum with broken nose. lol only joking.

Hes home now ill see what score is and let you know cheers boys n girls

Reading your post, brought back memories of my little boy, he was about 5 / 6 at the time, same thing happened came home and did'nt want to go back..

I taught him how to defend himself

Came home earlier this week (he's 11 now), told me he was picked on and one of the older lads had hit him..

so what did he do..

Gave him a black eye

Go on son,

I don't like violence what so ever, BUT you have to defend yourself..

You did the right thing confronting the kids dad..

I would expect the school to have a proper bullying policy, not just a "we'll keep an eye on him" approach. Ask the head teacher or parent governor what the policy is.


Or get him an old cricket bat and tell him to break it over the bullies' head :thumb:

dl

Those advising Karate/Judo classes missed the point, violence is not involved here, this is where the old adage "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me" gets raised.

Unfortunately it's not true.

Where as I know for a fact I'd have got my arse handed to me on a plate, probably by my mum actually. Certainly wouldn't have gone a roughed the kid up as a result. All about parenting I think.

Decent parent would listen and have a good chat with the kid. Smart kid would sor themselves out. However, as someone else has said, that smirk says a lot about the parents and you often find the bullying types are not the brightest crayons in the box.

5t.

Threatening the father makes you look somewhat the bully too. Your showing your child to fight violence with increased violeave.

If his child hits your child, your going to hit him? He then has a perfect right to have you arrested and charged.

The lack of response from the father means that if the bullying escalates your highly likely to end up in a punch up with the father. Your better off forcing the school to act and if they don't - press the issue there. Don't start fighting in the streets.

My daughter comes home and often complains about the bickering at school. We tend not to react to it because the girl she complains about one day may be her best friend the next.

We did have one issue last week when some other children arranged a fight between my girl and another. She came home and mentioned it a few times and even mentioned it to my mother and on each occasion the story didn't change. I informed her teacher who apparently sat them all down and gave them a bit of a rollocking.

You mention the father has a dog? I'm surprised it hasn't eaten the child by now ;)

He got out off car with a big cheesy smile. "me got new friend called shahul he doesnt do christmas so me give him my choclate instead" pmsl thats my boy

other lads are still trying it but his new mate has told them they are naughty. If he gets upset again ill go back to teachers and kids dad.

Edd not worried about dog mate we have 3 although there all wimps they look scary.

The thing that worrys me is that if the bullying kids hurt my lad i would probably go straight up to the father just out off frustration. unfortunatly my head is wored up as do now think later lol.

my boy about 2 minutes ago cant be getting to him at moment lol

http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/k...icture0001.jpg

(excuse house still decorating)

Sorry mate, don't take this the wrong way but if your not a wind up merchant in the last few weeks you have:

Almost lost the plot with the Police, making your wife calm you down.
Told a shop keeper you were going to do him over.
Threatened if your wife ever has an affair to rape the guy.
Threatened another parent at school.

There may be more. Is this the way you really behave...

I didnt loose plot with them mate i was fine with them i never said i had lost plot with them.

Not a shop keeper a sales bloke at pc world for talking to misses like she was thick i even gave him about 5 minutes off doing so before saying anything. And i didnt loose plot then either i said it calmly didnt even raise my voice.

Iv said that to misses since day 1 and its more like a joke idle threat.

And yes i did threaten bloke at school i am guilty off that.

Im not a bad person mate just protective off my family

Fair play mate if the bullys dad had smirked at me I would have smacked the f#cker you showed some kind of restraint there.

Same here, id have twatted him!

agree with smacking himone lol,

but seriously, get him into a martial arts club, teaches confidence, self control and he'll just brush off bullying without even worrying about. plus if any of them do take it further they aint gonna last long :)

wish i never stopped cos my waist line tells me a should have lol

A mate off my runs a tai boxing class might run up with my boy and see how he gets on.

pikey as much as it breaks your heart, you cannot intervene (unless it gets silly), it will escalate beyond all proportion, i know you, like most dads will kill for your kids, but he needs to sort this himself with your help, don't let him become a victim as it is a spiral hard to get out of, and you cannot stop this yourself, he has to do it, as the others have said, martial arts or boxing will work wonders for him, it will give him confidence and kudos with the other kids.....good luck.

Same here too, I cannot stand bullys, was bullied myself until my uncle taught me Boxing, Good Luck I hope your lad gets on OK, If you can teach him some self defence skills, I was picked on by the same 5 or 6 lads all the time until my Uncle taught me how to punch properly, trust me the Monday after he showed me the first one who pushed me got a smack straight between the eyes, and the others ran away, I was then called the bully until my dad got involved:D
Cheers
Colin

Are you sure the other father was smirking at you?
He may have had no idea what was going on or what you were talking about and I'm guessing that you look like a bloke who can handle himself. So he was thinking "I definitely wasn't expecting this" and so grinning to try to defuse the situation.
The thought of our children getting bullied is very emotive but I think that threatening another parent should be kept as a very very last resort.
As stated above take your lad to judo.

No he was definatly smirking mate he is your typical not old enough to be a dad dad lol.