Most annoying phrases
24 July 2008, 11:24 AM
#31
I don't have such a probem with "management-speak" as it's one of my team's hobbies to try to seed new management-speak phrases with our senior management by just dropping them in and seeing if they pick them up. So far we've managed to get quite a few into circulation. 
Our current project is combining "Totality" with "Granularity" in the same sentence.
It's a sad existence but we don't hurt anybody by doing it
Our current project is combining "Totality" with "Granularity" in the same sentence.
It's a sad existence but we don't hurt anybody by doing it
24 July 2008, 11:33 AM
#32
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'I'm good thanks'
'Cheer up, it might never happen'
'Oooh, I've got loads of 'Bags for Life' but I've left them in the car'
'.........and I was like.......and he was like......'
'Cheer up, it might never happen'
'Oooh, I've got loads of 'Bags for Life' but I've left them in the car'
'.........and I was like.......and he was like......'
24 July 2008, 11:43 AM
#34
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I like the one about brains and being dangerous!
"if you like" irritates me and all the business speak style Americanisms which creep in these days.
The use of "proven" instead of "proved" "Proven" is an ancient Scottish legal term and is not English. Some smartarse thought that up because he thought it looked good.
Les
Les
"if you like" irritates me and all the business speak style Americanisms which creep in these days.
The use of "proven" instead of "proved" "Proven" is an ancient Scottish legal term and is not English. Some smartarse thought that up because he thought it looked good.
Les
Les
24 July 2008, 11:49 AM
#35
Yes, business folks are usually pretty good at these.
Here's some I hear quite often, I also like to play games with these guys and just make up my own to see if they react
Turn key solution
Tom foolery
Get them in the long grass
Swings and roundabouts
Horses for courses
Cloak and dagger
Dot the I's and cross the T's
Plough your own forrows
One stop shop
Shaun
Here's some I hear quite often, I also like to play games with these guys and just make up my own to see if they react
Turn key solution
Tom foolery
Get them in the long grass
Swings and roundabouts
Horses for courses
Cloak and dagger
Dot the I's and cross the T's
Plough your own forrows
One stop shop
Shaun
24 July 2008, 12:10 PM
#36
Well, coming at this with a helicopter view, what we as a team need here to get buy in is to, you know, leverage a team brainbang with some quality face time to make sure we're all facing north, so that we can run a few ideas up the flagpole and then see who salutes?
By being creovative like that we should be able push for an actionable win win solution that will enables ourselves together to capture all the low hanging fruit in an ongoing manner and will impact us into the incentivisation programme in a meaningful manner
Speaking for myself on behalf of the team we owe it to ourselves not to make this just a box ticking session but to create some serious out of the loop time to bring our big guns to bear on these paradigms
By being creovative like that we should be able push for an actionable win win solution that will enables ourselves together to capture all the low hanging fruit in an ongoing manner and will impact us into the incentivisation programme in a meaningful manner
Speaking for myself on behalf of the team we owe it to ourselves not to make this just a box ticking session but to create some serious out of the loop time to bring our big guns to bear on these paradigms
Last edited by Fat Boy; 24 July 2008 at 12:30 PM.
24 July 2008, 12:17 PM
#37
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Well, coming at this with a helicopter view, what we as a team need here to get buy in is to, you know, leverage a team brainbang with some quality face time to make sure we're all facing north, so that we can run a few ideas up the flapole and then see who salutes?
By being creovative like that we should be able push for an actionable win win solution that will enables ourselves together to capture all the low hanging fruit in an ongoing manner and will impact us into the incentivisation programme in a meaningful manner
Speaking for myself on behalf of the team we owe it to ourselves not to make this just a box tocking session but to create some serious out of the loop time to bring our big guns to bear on these paradigms
By being creovative like that we should be able push for an actionable win win solution that will enables ourselves together to capture all the low hanging fruit in an ongoing manner and will impact us into the incentivisation programme in a meaningful manner
Speaking for myself on behalf of the team we owe it to ourselves not to make this just a box tocking session but to create some serious out of the loop time to bring our big guns to bear on these paradigms
'Incentivise' I feckin' hate that word!
24 July 2008, 01:48 PM
#43
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24 July 2008, 01:55 PM
#45
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At the end of the day
All things being equal
Basically (which means - I don't understand what I'm saying, but the inclusion of this word gives the premise of simplicity so if you don't understand it then it's you that's thick)
Actually (which means either - I'm lying, or I'm not too sure but am trying to make out that I fully understand what I'm saying)
GMTV's weather girls must use the same script-writer, as they both include 'What this/that means' in every forecast, sometimes several times.
And not forgetting the classic....'Ow ! Wrong hole '
All things being equal
Basically (which means - I don't understand what I'm saying, but the inclusion of this word gives the premise of simplicity so if you don't understand it then it's you that's thick)
Actually (which means either - I'm lying, or I'm not too sure but am trying to make out that I fully understand what I'm saying)
GMTV's weather girls must use the same script-writer, as they both include 'What this/that means' in every forecast, sometimes several times.
And not forgetting the classic....'Ow ! Wrong hole
'
Last edited by corradoboy; 24 July 2008 at 01:57 PM.
24 July 2008, 04:27 PM
#47
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24 July 2008, 04:37 PM
#48
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How does it make you feel "as a person"
and
in business speak "what will you bring to the party" when they just mean "what will you do"
and
in business speak "what will you bring to the party" when they just mean "what will you do"
24 July 2008, 04:48 PM
#49
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I went into a meeting with business types once wearing a t-shirt bearing the logo
"I bring absolutely nothing to the table"
"I bring absolutely nothing to the table"
24 July 2008, 07:31 PM
#51
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Business meeting - chairperson trying to delegate (or trying to prevent himself from getting any actions):-
Him "I'll action you to do that"
Me "Sorry that's not in my workstream"
Him "But we want the best man for the job"
Me "That's clearly you then..."
Him "You're not helping much here"
Me "Are you kidding look at the amount of actions I have so far compared to your own!"
The room goes quiet..
The above happend a few weeks back and I was quite proud
Him "I'll action you to do that"
Me "Sorry that's not in my workstream"
Him "But we want the best man for the job"
Me "That's clearly you then..."
Him "You're not helping much here"
Me "Are you kidding look at the amount of actions I have so far compared to your own!"
The room goes quiet..
The above happend a few weeks back and I was quite proud
24 July 2008, 08:35 PM
#53
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i'll be round first thing monday morning. please point to me on a bloody clock where is says 'first thing'. i am not a frigging mind reader
this is normally said by a builder.................who then turns up last thing on a wednesday
this is normally said by a builder.................who then turns up last thing on a wednesday
24 July 2008, 09:13 PM
#54
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"Step up to the plate" Baseball term, used widely by my American bosses.
Holistic, synergy, diversity, convergence, "I know you're busy, but...", "It says press any key, what do I press?", think outside the box.
And the winner is.....
"Have a nice day" **** of you Wayne Kerr
Holistic, synergy, diversity, convergence, "I know you're busy, but...", "It says press any key, what do I press?", think outside the box.
And the winner is.....
"Have a nice day" **** of you Wayne Kerr
24 July 2008, 09:16 PM
#55
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The current one at work is "we are where we are", usually utterred by a lesser manager when I'm trying to get them to explain why their team has fcuked up when they don't want to admit it's their fault. It's usually followed by "moving forward, we'll get a scrum together and have a lessons learned session". No! Just do your job right!
24 July 2008, 09:27 PM
#57
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The current one at work is "we are where we are", usually utterred by a lesser manager when I'm trying to get them to explain why their team has fcuked up when they don't want to admit it's their fault. It's usually followed by "moving forward, we'll get a scrum together and have a lessons learned session". No! Just do your job right!
24 July 2008, 11:11 PM
#60
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I like the one about brains and being dangerous!
"if you like" irritates me and all the business speak style Americanisms which creep in these days.
The use of "proven" instead of "proved" "Proven" is an ancient Scottish legal term and is not English. Some smartarse thought that up because he thought it looked good.
Les
Les
"if you like" irritates me and all the business speak style Americanisms which creep in these days.
The use of "proven" instead of "proved" "Proven" is an ancient Scottish legal term and is not English. Some smartarse thought that up because he thought it looked good.
Les
Les