i spat the second one out

 

was it a slimer?

 

i was full up

 

A classmate of mine (at uni who I fancied the pants off) told me she once stood on one of them giant slugs which burst up her leg, I dunno the end of the story as my mind went astray when she started going on about removing her tights

 

I've tried worms and oysters. Can't really see why people rave about oysters

Anyway - When I was 5 I fell out (big time.... dunno what it was about now, but it must have been serious) with my best mate in the whole world who lived next door and went to school with me. I waited until he wasn't looking and took a dump in his schoolbag. We didn't do much in the way of homework in P1, so he carried it about for the best part of a week with everyone complaining about the smell before the teacher reached in to find his pencil case. I'll never forget her expression...........




then......


karma

30 odd years go past and I bump into a girl from the town where I grew up in the (kids) school playground. Got chatting and turns out she had got married to my best mate who lived next door. About 2 months into P1, we all get called to see the teacher. Seems their kid has been sharing his 'maltesers' with the rest of the class. Everyone else was horrified. I could only fall off my minature chair laughing my *** off

 

Made a stink bomb out of a glass jar and dog turds (Amoung other "things"), then threw the "bomb" over a fence. My sister picked up a "fruit salad" sweet covered with ants and ate it. She was about 3 or 4 as I recall.

 

That's pretty bad....but funny as hell though. Maltesers...ha ha ha ha...

 

I used to eat wood lice at primary school. I did at least wait until they'd rolled up into a ball.

I also did the chewing gum off the floor thing too. I would have a massive ball of it before I got bored of chewing. A speck of dirt a day keeps the doctor away...

My brother had some pet worms which he used to kiss goodnight. His wife made him stop recently.

 

as a child we used to get dog pooh on a stick and chase each other till we got someone and wiped it over them, also whenwver we played football the eldest of the gang youngest brother was always wigeing so we got him held him down and fed him an old tin of dog food that was lying around on the grass.

as an adult, i went out one night pubbing and clubbing and when i got in there has been a slug inside my shoe all night, near the bridge of my foot.
coudlnt believe it, my sock was stuck to my foot with all the slug jucies
it was angin

 

Thats nasty, but funny as ****
Slug juices FPMSL

 

LMFAO!!!

 

as a child, I used to have a road map in my cupboard and a box full of toy cars. In the middle of the night if I needed the toilet I used to wee in the box and over the roadmap (toilet was downstairs)

The roadmap was my favourite toy and I used to play with it downstairs everyday whilst my parents sat around me.


It took a few weeks for them to realise what the (then) stale smell was!!

Cars were always clean though!

 

I remember walking home one day and accidently (is there any other way?) treadding in some dog poo. Not wanting to walk all the way home with this stuck to my shoe, I swapped them with my plymsols and put the poo encrusted shoes im my duffle bag. I don't think my mum was too pleased when she opened up my bag to wash my kit..

 

Not so much when I was a child, but a few years back we ended up back at my mates house, absolutely trashed, anyway Paul (My mate) decided to go to bed and leave us all sat in his living room, the so called ‘hardcore’ drinkers

On route home, Paul got a pizza, but left half of it – this was noted by another friend who decided to place some cat **** (fresh from his feline)under the topping and leave it

Next morning, hung over and stary eyed we woke up to find Paul with said pizza (heated up in microwave) enjoying it for breakfast

 

Whilst on holiday in Tenerife with a mate, Davegtt & his mate, my mate got so trashed he spent 24 hours throwing his guts up, unbeknown to him, while he was asleep one night I covered the soles of his feet in toothpaste, next morning there were white footprints all over the apartment & he couldn’t work out why, a day later he was picking toothpaste from various body parts

We all knew, it was difficult not to laugh but I told him when we landed back in the UK

 

i ate a slug by mistake . had a slug in one hand and a 54321 in the other watching tv( i was obsessed by slugs/snails ect i used to put them in boxes and keep them in my room) so ingrossed by whatever was on the tv i took a bite out of .... the fecking slug lol wasnt to nice but i was only about 5 or 6

 

When I was 4, I apparently shoved a bog roll down the loo, swished it around with the loo brush and then decided that the bathroom needed re-decorating!

I also found a dead bird once in the garden and decided that it would be a nice present for my mum. 'Look mummy, birdy!'

 

Bunch of sick people you lot are, I was all sweet and innocent (still am ) when I was a child. As good as can be

 

I grew up in a pub and all the staff had to be warned to keep me away from the drip trays.

 

i was 15

she was fat ugly and downright disgusting


















but i done her

 

I once dropped a massive log into the downstairs toilet of a relatives house at a family gathering, and then found out the toilet wouldn't flush

To spare embarrassment, I retrieved the beast from the bowl, and wrapped it up in bog roll like a little ethnic baby jesus.

The package was then sneaked through the house, Jason Bourne style to the upstairs toilet for disposal. Several obstacles en-route, such as a busy living room and kitchen to pass, and when I finally reached the RV point, the toilet was occupied, so the package was secreted up my jumper till the coast was clear

It still took two flushes then

 

When I was about 8 I went for a poo at school, got there and someone (well Lee Saxon, class naughty kid, incidentally now dead from Herion along with his older brother, sad but not enteriely surprising) had shoved bog roll down the bogs, now I was turtling badly, fully dialated and the head was showing so I couldnt divert to another facility, so I had to drop my load on top of the full toilet rolls depositied in the toilets, I sorted myself out, had a go at flushing to no avail and made good my escape feeling a bit guilty but releived.

Anyway, after lunch we were all instructed as a school to go to the hall for a special assembly, didnt think anything of it until the Head started ranting about the bog rolls down the bogs problem, my blood ran cold because he then added "And then did their business on top of it", he outlined how hard the cleaner works without this and I nearly burst into tears as Mrs O'Malley was a lovely woman who really looked after us and kept the school spotless.

The culprits were grassed up, but my guilty secret remained remained intact, Mr Saxon must have been confused as I suspect he would remember dropping a loaf on top of his handiwork, I also suspect he was dissapointed he hadnt thought of it !

 

You probably drove him to heroin jacko !!