Mum just dropped a bombshell "found a lump"
13 February 2008, 06:06 PM
#31
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A little heads up
if the doctor sends her to hospital they will do a needle biopsy which goes into the lump to draw fluid, and is painful, they will then do a mammogram which squashes the breast, for no good reason they will do the needle first which makes the mammogram turture, the breast screening nurses complain to doctors all the time for doing this way, you are perfectly within your rights to request the mammogram first
As for more serious when older, 50% of breast cancer deaths are for the over 70's From Cancer Research UK, this is because older people don't check their breasts or get help as soon as a lump is found, anyway let's hope it's just a cyst, good luck snazy and mum xxx
if the doctor sends her to hospital they will do a needle biopsy which goes into the lump to draw fluid, and is painful, they will then do a mammogram which squashes the breast, for no good reason they will do the needle first which makes the mammogram turture, the breast screening nurses complain to doctors all the time for doing this way, you are perfectly within your rights to request the mammogram first
As for more serious when older, 50% of breast cancer deaths are for the over 70's From Cancer Research UK, this is because older people don't check their breasts or get help as soon as a lump is found, anyway let's hope it's just a cyst, good luck snazy and mum xxx
13 February 2008, 06:41 PM
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A little heads up
if the doctor sends her to hospital they will do a needle biopsy which goes into the lump to draw fluid, and is painful, they will then do a mammogram which squashes the breast, for no good reason they will do the needle first which makes the mammogram turture, the breast screening nurses complain to doctors all the time for doing this way, you are perfectly within your rights to request the mammogram first
As for more serious when older, 50% of breast cancer deaths are for the over 70's From Cancer Research UK, this is because older people don't check their breasts or get help as soon as a lump is found, anyway let's hope it's just a cyst, good luck snazy and mum xxx
if the doctor sends her to hospital they will do a needle biopsy which goes into the lump to draw fluid, and is painful, they will then do a mammogram which squashes the breast, for no good reason they will do the needle first which makes the mammogram turture, the breast screening nurses complain to doctors all the time for doing this way, you are perfectly within your rights to request the mammogram first
As for more serious when older, 50% of breast cancer deaths are for the over 70's From Cancer Research UK, this is because older people don't check their breasts or get help as soon as a lump is found, anyway let's hope it's just a cyst, good luck snazy and mum xxx
Cruel I know, but got to be cruel to be kind and all that.
At least I know what to expect now, well for her. Will let everyone know what happens at the doctors tomorrow. Im sure he will see her without fail.
13 February 2008, 07:02 PM
#33
Snazy, my thoughts are with your Mam, you and your family, it is a worrying time but hopefully, it will turn out to be nothing serious, if it is all you can do is get her to have treatment and give her all the support you can.
My Mam was diagnosed with breast cancer last year, she went and got checked at the Doctors not long after she found the lump and within no time, she was at Hospital for further checks. Unfortunately the mammogram didn't show up the cancer, but the ultrasound and further biopsy confirmed her fears. After that she opted to have the whole breast removed, mainly so if they didn't catch it all with the lumpectomy, she wouldn't have to have another operation (she'd never had any op before this, so she was a little scared to say the least). They were hopeful they'd got rid of it all and said it hadn't spread into the lymphs, now she's on tablets and doing quite well.
The most important thing to remember through all this, other than getting treatment, is just to stay strong, that's you and your family as well as your Mam. Be there for her and each other as this can be almost as hard for the family as the person going through it.
Good luck, and as said it may well be nothing to worry about.
My Mam was diagnosed with breast cancer last year, she went and got checked at the Doctors not long after she found the lump and within no time, she was at Hospital for further checks. Unfortunately the mammogram didn't show up the cancer, but the ultrasound and further biopsy confirmed her fears. After that she opted to have the whole breast removed, mainly so if they didn't catch it all with the lumpectomy, she wouldn't have to have another operation (she'd never had any op before this, so she was a little scared to say the least). They were hopeful they'd got rid of it all and said it hadn't spread into the lymphs, now she's on tablets and doing quite well.
The most important thing to remember through all this, other than getting treatment, is just to stay strong, that's you and your family as well as your Mam. Be there for her and each other as this can be almost as hard for the family as the person going through it.
Good luck, and as said it may well be nothing to worry about.
13 February 2008, 07:14 PM
#34
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Snazy, my thoughts are with your Mam, you and your family, it is a worrying time but hopefully, it will turn out to be nothing serious, if it is all you can do is get her to have treatment and give her all the support you can.
My Mam was diagnosed with breast cancer last year, she went and got checked at the Doctors not long after she found the lump and within no time, she was at Hospital for further checks. Unfortunately the mammogram didn't show up the cancer, but the ultrasound and further biopsy confirmed her fears. After that she opted to have the whole breast removed, mainly so if they didn't catch it all with the lumpectomy, she wouldn't have to have another operation (she'd never had any op before this, so she was a little scared to say the least). They were hopeful they'd got rid of it all and said it hadn't spread into the lymphs, now she's on tablets and doing quite well.
The most important thing to remember through all this, other than getting treatment, is just to stay strong, that's you and your family as well as your Mam. Be there for her and each other as this can be almost as hard for the family as the person going through it.
Good luck, and as said it may well be nothing to worry about.
My Mam was diagnosed with breast cancer last year, she went and got checked at the Doctors not long after she found the lump and within no time, she was at Hospital for further checks. Unfortunately the mammogram didn't show up the cancer, but the ultrasound and further biopsy confirmed her fears. After that she opted to have the whole breast removed, mainly so if they didn't catch it all with the lumpectomy, she wouldn't have to have another operation (she'd never had any op before this, so she was a little scared to say the least). They were hopeful they'd got rid of it all and said it hadn't spread into the lymphs, now she's on tablets and doing quite well.
The most important thing to remember through all this, other than getting treatment, is just to stay strong, that's you and your family as well as your Mam. Be there for her and each other as this can be almost as hard for the family as the person going through it.
Good luck, and as said it may well be nothing to worry about.
As for me staying strong, not a prob
And I will of course offer all my support to her
13 February 2008, 07:59 PM
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Snazy,
Breast cancer is extremley treatable so you need to be positive.
My wife found a lump in her breast last sept and it was quickly diagnosed as cancer. She is currently having Chemotheraphy (all her hair has fallen out) however the Chemo is working and the lump has all but dissapeared. She will have lumpsectomy at the end of March followed by radiotheraphy for 5 weeks.
It is a shock when diagnosed it is definately surviveable, and the support networks are good.
Kiwi
Breast cancer is extremley treatable so you need to be positive.
My wife found a lump in her breast last sept and it was quickly diagnosed as cancer. She is currently having Chemotheraphy (all her hair has fallen out) however the Chemo is working and the lump has all but dissapeared. She will have lumpsectomy at the end of March followed by radiotheraphy for 5 weeks.
It is a shock when diagnosed it is definately surviveable, and the support networks are good.
Kiwi
13 February 2008, 08:05 PM
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Snazy,
Breast cancer is extremley treatable so you need to be positive.
My wife found a lump in her breast last sept and it was quickly diagnosed as cancer. She is currently having Chemotheraphy (all her hair has fallen out) however the Chemo is working and the lump has all but dissapeared. She will have lumpsectomy at the end of March followed by radiotheraphy for 5 weeks.
It is a shock when diagnosed it is definately surviveable, and the support networks are good.
Kiwi
Breast cancer is extremley treatable so you need to be positive.
My wife found a lump in her breast last sept and it was quickly diagnosed as cancer. She is currently having Chemotheraphy (all her hair has fallen out) however the Chemo is working and the lump has all but dissapeared. She will have lumpsectomy at the end of March followed by radiotheraphy for 5 weeks.
It is a shock when diagnosed it is definately surviveable, and the support networks are good.
Kiwi
As for treatment, things like chemo she will NOT have. I know that for sure. She has had work mates go through it only to lose the battle so is dead against it. Op is 50/50 and drugs she will take unless they make her feel ill.
That is all based on if it IS bad. Fingers crossed its not of course.
All the best for your wife though mate. Fingers crossed for you.
Lisa, cheers I will remember that
As above hopefully there is no need for it all, but great to know
14 February 2008, 09:26 AM
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Riiiiiiiiiiight.
I was up at 8am and straight to the doctors in person. Busy waiting room as ever for a monday morning.
Spoke to reception, and once the words mother, lump, breast, 3 months were out she took the name and confirmed an appointment in 1 hours time....
So I came home, told her to get ready to which she said "im not going to the doctors" Which was met by the reply Oh yes you are, if I have to drag you kicking and screaming. One huff later.......... she is getting ready.
Could be a long day, or a short appointment with a future referal. Only time will tell. But I will update as soon as I know
I was up at 8am and straight to the doctors in person. Busy waiting room as ever for a monday morning.
Spoke to reception, and once the words mother, lump, breast, 3 months were out she took the name and confirmed an appointment in 1 hours time....
So I came home, told her to get ready to which she said "im not going to the doctors" Which was met by the reply Oh yes you are, if I have to drag you kicking and screaming. One huff later.......... she is getting ready.
Could be a long day, or a short appointment with a future referal. Only time will tell. But I will update as soon as I know
14 February 2008, 12:10 PM
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Snazy, good for you for the help you are giving to your Mum. I hope it all turns out OK.
Try and explain that your Mum is not just doing it for herself, but that its for all those that love her too.
STEVE............
Try and explain that your Mum is not just doing it for herself, but that its for all those that love her too.
STEVE............
14 February 2008, 12:47 PM
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Snazy,
I am really sorry for all the worry for you and your Mum. I understand how she feels about the treatment but the way to look at it is that it is worth any discomfort to get it all sorted out. I sincerely hope it is not serious anyway.
I have been through all that with bowel cancer and it was a frightening business thinking about the operation and whether it was going to be ok. The op was not as bad to go through since you know nothing from the moment you get put out to when it is all over. It was a difficult one to get at too. The Chemo was not pleasant but well worth putting up with when you consider it is to save your life. All I can say is thank goodness it was all done and my NHS consultant was a bit of a star over the whole thing. Sara's thread was a great help too!
I hope that will help your mum but above all I hope it won't be necessary anyway.
Les
I am really sorry for all the worry for you and your Mum. I understand how she feels about the treatment but the way to look at it is that it is worth any discomfort to get it all sorted out. I sincerely hope it is not serious anyway.
I have been through all that with bowel cancer and it was a frightening business thinking about the operation and whether it was going to be ok. The op was not as bad to go through since you know nothing from the moment you get put out to when it is all over. It was a difficult one to get at too. The Chemo was not pleasant but well worth putting up with when you consider it is to save your life. All I can say is thank goodness it was all done and my NHS consultant was a bit of a star over the whole thing. Sara's thread was a great help too!
I hope that will help your mum but above all I hope it won't be necessary anyway.
Les
14 February 2008, 07:20 PM
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Cheers guys.
Waiting on the scan and bio date now. But talking to mum over lunch and she is trying to refuse the biopsy too based on she believes that puncturing the lump will cause it to spread, so does not want it done.
Doing some reading up now to give her something to look at. Hopefully she will at least accept that stage of it.
Should it be diagnosed as a cancer, the treatment is another matter. But a hurdle to be overcome if and when its diagnosed.
She seems a lot more relaxed today, so guessing its been really on her mind for a while now.
Waiting on the scan and bio date now. But talking to mum over lunch and she is trying to refuse the biopsy too based on she believes that puncturing the lump will cause it to spread, so does not want it done.
Doing some reading up now to give her something to look at. Hopefully she will at least accept that stage of it.
Should it be diagnosed as a cancer, the treatment is another matter. But a hurdle to be overcome if and when its diagnosed.
She seems a lot more relaxed today, so guessing its been really on her mind for a while now.
15 February 2008, 03:24 PM
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Cheers guys.
Waiting on the scan and bio date now. But talking to mum over lunch and she is trying to refuse the biopsy too based on she believes that puncturing the lump will cause it to spread, so does not want it done.
Doing some reading up now to give her something to look at. Hopefully she will at least accept that stage of it.
Should it be diagnosed as a cancer, the treatment is another matter. But a hurdle to be overcome if and when its diagnosed.
She seems a lot more relaxed today, so guessing its been really on her mind for a while now.
Waiting on the scan and bio date now. But talking to mum over lunch and she is trying to refuse the biopsy too based on she believes that puncturing the lump will cause it to spread, so does not want it done.
Doing some reading up now to give her something to look at. Hopefully she will at least accept that stage of it.
Should it be diagnosed as a cancer, the treatment is another matter. But a hurdle to be overcome if and when its diagnosed.
She seems a lot more relaxed today, so guessing its been really on her mind for a while now.
Les
15 February 2008, 03:27 PM
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Ironic or what, nephew went to school early this morning, they are having a charity breakfast for breast cancer!
Whats the chance of that eh.Like I say its early days, but once the biops is done, we will know more and the real interesting part starts.
15 February 2008, 03:39 PM
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Hey mate thought i'd give u a shout further to ur thread. My mum is 61 and 2 years ago had problems which at first were unrelated to cancer which ended her up in hospital having a routine hysterectomy. When she had the op however they found out she had the early stages of ovarian cancer, she was very unwell and had a years course of chemotherapy. We were expecting the worst but luck seemed to be on our side. As it had been diagnosed early and treated it seems she made a full recovery. What was even more surprising is that chemotherapy is not always as harrowing as u would imagine, she didnt lose her hair (she is still image concious at 61 lol), and aside from tiredness she wasnt physically unwell. Anyway, to cut a long story short mate i wouldnt be too alarmed, but for sure encourage her to get it checked out thoroughly. If it is bad news, it seems treatment nowadays is very successful and more straightforward than some pessimists would have u believe. Regards to u both and best of luck
15 February 2008, 03:57 PM
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Hey mate thought i'd give u a shout further to ur thread. My mum is 61 and 2 years ago had problems which at first were unrelated to cancer which ended her up in hospital having a routine hysterectomy. When she had the op however they found out she had the early stages of ovarian cancer, she was very unwell and had a years course of chemotherapy. We were expecting the worst but luck seemed to be on our side. As it had been diagnosed early and treated it seems she made a full recovery. What was even more surprising is that chemotherapy is not always as harrowing as u would imagine, she didnt lose her hair (she is still image concious at 61 lol), and aside from tiredness she wasnt physically unwell. Anyway, to cut a long story short mate i wouldnt be too alarmed, but for sure encourage her to get it checked out thoroughly. If it is bad news, it seems treatment nowadays is very successful and more straightforward than some pessimists would have u believe. Regards to u both and best of luck
Glad things worked out for your mum
Fingers crossed its nothing serious to worry about, but at the end of the day, best to do the homework and prepare for the worst.
16 February 2008, 05:58 PM
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Breast Cancer Care - Our publications
you can order booklets free of charge from this website - might be of some help to you
you can order booklets free of charge from this website - might be of some help to you
17 February 2008, 09:57 AM
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Right little update as promised.
As expected the referral has come through rather quickly and she is off for all the checks on 26th Feb for an "urgent" review.
In the meantime she is still in good spirits which is the main thing
Will update again if there is anything to know. Thank you to everyone for the PM's and helpful suggestions etc.
Just a waiting game now, hopefully the checks will be caried out and results wont take too long. IF she allows the biopsy of course.
As expected the referral has come through rather quickly and she is off for all the checks on 26th Feb for an "urgent" review.
In the meantime she is still in good spirits which is the main thing
Will update again if there is anything to know. Thank you to everyone for the PM's and helpful suggestions etc.
Just a waiting game now, hopefully the checks will be caried out and results wont take too long. IF she allows the biopsy of course.
17 February 2008, 10:58 AM
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Hi Snazy,
Good luck with the appt for the 26th. Have you spoken to your mum to ask her why she thinks the biopsy will make it spread - often ignorance will get in the way of treatment and we are afraid of the 'what ifs' and the resulting panic that ensues. It could still be nothing at all but either way surely it's best for her to know for certain.
Good luck with the appt for the 26th. Have you spoken to your mum to ask her why she thinks the biopsy will make it spread - often ignorance will get in the way of treatment and we are afraid of the 'what ifs' and the resulting panic that ensues. It could still be nothing at all but either way surely it's best for her to know for certain.
17 February 2008, 03:01 PM
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Hi Snazy,
Good luck with the appt for the 26th. Have you spoken to your mum to ask her why she thinks the biopsy will make it spread - often ignorance will get in the way of treatment and we are afraid of the 'what ifs' and the resulting panic that ensues. It could still be nothing at all but either way surely it's best for her to know for certain.
Good luck with the appt for the 26th. Have you spoken to your mum to ask her why she thinks the biopsy will make it spread - often ignorance will get in the way of treatment and we are afraid of the 'what ifs' and the resulting panic that ensues. It could still be nothing at all but either way surely it's best for her to know for certain.
Yup as per the other posts, she is very out of touch with medical stuff, and still lives in the 50's when she was in and out of hospital.
She seems to thing once the lump or growth is pierced, the insides can leak out causing everything to spread throughout the body.
She only takes on board things that she wants to hear, so makes her own mind up about how things work.
If I have anything to do with it, she WILL have the check done.
26 February 2008, 10:41 AM
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Well we just got back from the hospital, and as expected its confirmed as cancer. A slight shock for mum when he carried on examining her, and found another lump in the other side, also confirmed as cancer.
Naturally she has refused all treatment, which they respect, but she is going back next week for another chat, some options and the result of the.... wait for it...... biopsy. She actually let them do a biop's on both sides! Go mum go !
She is in good spirit about it, im pretty ok with it too. Kind of expected to hear it anyway. So next stage is seeing how progressed it is, and sorting out the family affairs etc.
Cor, good thing im off work at the mo eh!
Cheers to everyone for the replies, info and advice
Naturally she has refused all treatment, which they respect, but she is going back next week for another chat, some options and the result of the.... wait for it...... biopsy. She actually let them do a biop's on both sides! Go mum go !
She is in good spirit about it, im pretty ok with it too. Kind of expected to hear it anyway. So next stage is seeing how progressed it is, and sorting out the family affairs etc.
Cor, good thing im off work at the mo eh!
Cheers to everyone for the replies, info and advice
26 February 2008, 10:59 AM
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26 February 2008, 11:02 AM
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Oh very definitely. This may sound unbelievably heartless but I don't know too much about it - it was one factor in a rather unpleasant period in the family (all sorted now). I don't think she had chemo and I'm sure she didn't have a mastectomy, but I believe there was some cutting under her arms, so that means lymph nodes. She was about 50.
Last edited by Brendan Hughes; 26 February 2008 at 11:05 AM.
26 February 2008, 11:06 AM
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Aaah I see.
My mum just turned 70, refuses to be treated, and wants to die in one piece so she says.
Chemo is a no no in her eyes, drugs are a possibility, and I think she will accept them next week when we go back.
I can see her point, and respect it too, but obviously am keen to have my mum about as long as possible.
My mum just turned 70, refuses to be treated, and wants to die in one piece so she says.
Chemo is a no no in her eyes, drugs are a possibility, and I think she will accept them next week when we go back.
I can see her point, and respect it too, but obviously am keen to have my mum about as long as possible.
26 February 2008, 12:13 PM
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The right drugs can reduce the size of the tumour but it sounds like these are somewhat larger than my grandmother's. She's been perfectly okay on her drugs for quite a while now. And I can understand the 1950s attittude - this is what put my grandmother off invasive cancer treatments too.
Don't know if other treatment would be more painful for her than letting be - I suppose all you can do is get the pros and cons from the consultants and help her understand that. Have you let your sister know so she can get screened?
Don't know if other treatment would be more painful for her than letting be - I suppose all you can do is get the pros and cons from the consultants and help her understand that. Have you let your sister know so she can get screened?
26 February 2008, 12:37 PM
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Very sorry to hear about the diagnosis Snazy. I understand how she feels but I hope you can persuade her to accept treatment. They are getting much better at it these days and they may well be able to cure it or keep it at bay.
Any treatment is worth going through to save your life.
Les
Any treatment is worth going through to save your life.
Les
26 February 2008, 02:00 PM
#59
Ah Snazy I'm so sorry to hear this.
She may well be set in her ways, but try to encourage her to have whatever treatment necessary (easier said than done I'd expect). If an operation is what is needed to give her the best chances let her know, although it will be unpleasant, she will be better in a matter of time. In my Mam's case, she had the op and thankfully didn't need any chemo or radiotherapy, so was back to work within a few weeks.
All you can do is be there for her, and ultimately respect whatever decision she makes, but just let her know, whatever treatment is best for her, may not be as bad as she thinks.
She may well be set in her ways, but try to encourage her to have whatever treatment necessary (easier said than done I'd expect). If an operation is what is needed to give her the best chances let her know, although it will be unpleasant, she will be better in a matter of time. In my Mam's case, she had the op and thankfully didn't need any chemo or radiotherapy, so was back to work within a few weeks.
All you can do is be there for her, and ultimately respect whatever decision she makes, but just let her know, whatever treatment is best for her, may not be as bad as she thinks.
26 February 2008, 02:03 PM
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Im not gonna give in, but at the same time not going to pressure her against her will.
At the end of the day after 70 years she has the right to make her own decisions
Of course I want her to stick about as long as possible, but dont want her losing her dignity or freedom.
Guess we can only see how things go over the coming weeks and if she listens to a word I say lol.
She has to tell her sister yet ....
At the end of the day after 70 years she has the right to make her own decisions
Of course I want her to stick about as long as possible, but dont want her losing her dignity or freedom.
Guess we can only see how things go over the coming weeks and if she listens to a word I say lol.
She has to tell her sister yet ....