Do I have the legal right ?
18 January 2008, 09:17 PM
#62
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if your g/f's personality matches her looks you are a lucky lucky man! 
18 January 2008, 09:23 PM
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VJ
18 January 2008, 09:40 PM
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I think I just try and be as distant about it as possible. I can't even speak to him. Dave has to do the fetching and carrying as his wife is known to make comments about me in front of my child. Not a nice situation I tell you.
So, you men think you've got it all bad. Sometimes it can be just as bad for the woman too. She is not Dave's child, but he is paying more for her than her Dad is once you factor in mortgage, heating, electricity etc. We take her away on holiday 5 times a year. She's lucky if she gets a week with him.
18 January 2008, 09:43 PM
#66
as far as this goes the only thing I can say to you is 'She may have your boys now, but when they have grown up you will have them for the rest of your life.' So just hang in there for their sakes.VJ
18 January 2008, 09:44 PM
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Absolutely. However the down side to this is the ex is going to be very pi$$ed off at losing £160ish / mth so could make things more difficult for the OP, but it sounds like she is already doing this as far as this goes the only thing I can say to you is 'She may have your boys now, but when they have grown up you will have them for the rest of your life.' So just hang in there for their sakes.
VJ
as far as this goes the only thing I can say to you is 'She may have your boys now, but when they have grown up you will have them for the rest of your life.' So just hang in there for their sakes.VJ
I'm sure she will get over it
18 January 2008, 09:51 PM
#68
At the end of the day it will be his loss when she finally turns round and says she doesn't want to see him....
18 January 2008, 09:55 PM
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Simple little calculator here for you > https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/...aintenance.asp
Wow, I'm paying about 30% of what I should according to that. That would bankrupt me.
Steve
18 January 2008, 09:55 PM
#71
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Christ Chris, she sounds like a right money grabbing biatch 
You would have to hope she is using the money for the boys but I very much doubt it. How the hell can she be skint on what you are paying her????
Anyway, you can be happy in the knowledge that your g/f is much better looking and has a great personality too.
Can I be a fly on the wall when you tell your ex you are reducing the payments, I need a good laugh
You would have to hope she is using the money for the boys but I very much doubt it. How the hell can she be skint on what you are paying her????
Anyway, you can be happy in the knowledge that your g/f is much better looking and has a great personality too.
Can I be a fly on the wall when you tell your ex you are reducing the payments, I need a good laugh
18 January 2008, 09:57 PM
#72
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Christ Chris, she sounds like a right money grabbing biatch
You would have to hope she is using the money for the boys but I very much doubt it. How the hell can she be skint on what you are paying her????
Anyway, you can be happy in the knowledge that your g/f is much better looking and has a great personality too.
Can I be a fly on the wall when you tell your ex you are reducing the payments, I need a good laugh
You would have to hope she is using the money for the boys but I very much doubt it. How the hell can she be skint on what you are paying her????
Anyway, you can be happy in the knowledge that your g/f is much better looking and has a great personality too.
Can I be a fly on the wall when you tell your ex you are reducing the payments, I need a good laugh
What she ^^ said
18 January 2008, 09:59 PM
#73
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This kind of thing must really pi$$ off the mums that are genuinely entitled to and need the money, you get tarred with the same brush as the grabbers
18 January 2008, 10:00 PM
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18 January 2008, 10:06 PM
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mood after those firemen pics
18 January 2008, 10:07 PM
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I pay maintenance to my ex-bitch straight into a bank account in the young 'uns name. Mind you, she striped me for half the f**king house as well, like they do ...
18 January 2008, 10:17 PM
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18 January 2008, 10:43 PM
#84
I am quite surprised by the strength of peoples feelings on this thread and am taken aback somewhat by how helpful and useful comments have been made. For those I am truely grateful.
TBH I put this thread up purely as a question about where I stood with asking about where my maintenance went and now it has changed into such a very informative thread about the whole issue.
I feel it only right to say a big Thanks to everyone....
Now onto what I am going to do.
I am not wanting to have my boys go without, but at the same time I just want to make sure that the money is being well spent. That part I now realise I have no legal right to know, but what has happened is now I have seen just how much of a mug I am being taken for.
I never wanted to get the CSA involved for many reasons, some of them because of solicitors and friends advice and the fact that I thought we had done a decent and fair assessment. Didnt want the CSA into my life.
I think the best action for me to do, is to use the CSA calculation to negotiate some kind of reduction or change to our arrangement in my favour.
You know what I would be just bloody happy with the kids having some decent kit, less sodding wine bottles outside her front door and not being such a taxi. But we shall see
Thank you once again, I am truely grateful
TBH I put this thread up purely as a question about where I stood with asking about where my maintenance went and now it has changed into such a very informative thread about the whole issue.
I feel it only right to say a big Thanks to everyone....
Now onto what I am going to do.
I am not wanting to have my boys go without, but at the same time I just want to make sure that the money is being well spent. That part I now realise I have no legal right to know, but what has happened is now I have seen just how much of a mug I am being taken for.
I never wanted to get the CSA involved for many reasons, some of them because of solicitors and friends advice and the fact that I thought we had done a decent and fair assessment. Didnt want the CSA into my life.
I think the best action for me to do, is to use the CSA calculation to negotiate some kind of reduction or change to our arrangement in my favour.
You know what I would be just bloody happy with the kids having some decent kit, less sodding wine bottles outside her front door and not being such a taxi. But we shall see
Thank you once again, I am truely grateful
18 January 2008, 10:47 PM
#85
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Good luck with it Swiss. I really hope you can sort things without your kids being used as cannon fodder. I speak as the woman on the other side............its really hard not to knee jerk and use them. I do not but any lesser woman (ha ha ha) would do without a second thought.
Its good to hear there is life after split too......its still raw for me.
Its good to hear there is life after split too......its still raw for me.
18 January 2008, 10:49 PM
#86
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As for the point of being taxi, the judge in my case actually put it in my court order that I would do the picking up and dropping off. So if you don't have it in a court order and if you queried in court the likelyhood is the judge would make you do it anyway as I think its the norm.
18 January 2008, 10:57 PM
#88
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We have an arrangement that picking up and dropping off is done halfway as it's 35 miles in total. Plus, I don't want him coming to my house! Could this be arranged for you Swiss?
Good luck anyway.
Good luck anyway.
18 January 2008, 10:59 PM
#89
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you are lucky in many ways - my ex lives about a mile away. Too close for my liking! I would love travel to be an issue.
18 January 2008, 11:02 PM
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I am quite surprised by the strength of peoples feelings on this thread and am taken aback somewhat by how helpful and useful comments have been made. For those I am truely grateful.
TBH I put this thread up purely as a question about where I stood with asking about where my maintenance went and now it has changed into such a very informative thread about the whole issue.
I feel it only right to say a big Thanks to everyone....
Now onto what I am going to do.
I am not wanting to have my boys go without, but at the same time I just want to make sure that the money is being well spent. That part I now realise I have no legal right to know, but what has happened is now I have seen just how much of a mug I am being taken for.
I never wanted to get the CSA involved for many reasons, some of them because of solicitors and friends advice and the fact that I thought we had done a decent and fair assessment. Didnt want the CSA into my life.
I think the best action for me to do, is to use the CSA calculation to negotiate some kind of reduction or change to our arrangement in my favour.
You know what I would be just bloody happy with the kids having some decent kit, less sodding wine bottles outside her front door and not being such a taxi. But we shall see
Thank you once again, I am truely grateful
TBH I put this thread up purely as a question about where I stood with asking about where my maintenance went and now it has changed into such a very informative thread about the whole issue.
I feel it only right to say a big Thanks to everyone....
Now onto what I am going to do.
I am not wanting to have my boys go without, but at the same time I just want to make sure that the money is being well spent. That part I now realise I have no legal right to know, but what has happened is now I have seen just how much of a mug I am being taken for.
I never wanted to get the CSA involved for many reasons, some of them because of solicitors and friends advice and the fact that I thought we had done a decent and fair assessment. Didnt want the CSA into my life.
I think the best action for me to do, is to use the CSA calculation to negotiate some kind of reduction or change to our arrangement in my favour.
You know what I would be just bloody happy with the kids having some decent kit, less sodding wine bottles outside her front door and not being such a taxi. But we shall see
Thank you once again, I am truely grateful
Thats the last time I say anything nice, got it