What to do
12 October 2006, 12:37 PM
#31
She'll soon lose interest if he slaps her again, old dog, new tricks etc.
Perhaps remind her of those occasions, time has a habit of dulling painful memories and enhancing good ones. I get nostalgic about stuff I wasnt all that bothered about at the time.
Perhaps remind her of those occasions, time has a habit of dulling painful memories and enhancing good ones. I get nostalgic about stuff I wasnt all that bothered about at the time.
12 October 2006, 12:38 PM
#32
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More proof women are mental. Maybe try showing a bit of arrogance and step out of your comfort zone. Maybe change the way you dress a bit, talk to her a bit differently (not as nice)... just something that will make her sit up and take notice. She probably sees you as a comfy pair of old slippers she slips on after a hard days work. Her ex will remind her of being young and carefree... he's a pair of prada she puts on for a big night out and a great lay at the end of the night! You need to remind her that you;re that guy not the dope head.
12 October 2006, 12:38 PM
#33
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From a womans point of view id say the kisses mean something. But then she is expecting your child soon so her hormones will be confuing her 
I wouldnt worry about it yet as it sounds like the ex will mess things up soon once the novelty wears off with his son.
You could try writing your thoughts and feelings down in a letter as women like that sort of stuff and just explain that it is hard for you as you have brought your son up as your own for all these years etc...she will appreciate it trust me
I wouldnt worry about it yet as it sounds like the ex will mess things up soon once the novelty wears off with his son.You could try writing your thoughts and feelings down in a letter as women like that sort of stuff and just explain that it is hard for you as you have brought your son up as your own for all these years etc...she will appreciate it trust me
12 October 2006, 12:40 PM
#34
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Thats one thing I would be worried about, I over looked it in the first post. Shes pregnant and if she does start to see this guy in the way your worried about I'd be concerned for the unborn if he has a habit of slapping her around 
12 October 2006, 12:40 PM
#35
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Originally Posted by DCI Gene Hunt
Seriously dude.....
Do not (and I mean NOT) start to become mardy, grumpy, sulky or negative around her... all you will do is push her away, which in turn makes you worse and pushes her further....
Try to remove your emotions from the situation and NOT react to him (or them) when he pops round, infact become his best friend and take all of his time and attention while he's round your place....
If he see's that his arrival causes you grief he will play on this and make things much worse for you and the missus....
Now chill out and post those pictures you keep promising me.....
Do not (and I mean NOT) start to become mardy, grumpy, sulky or negative around her... all you will do is push her away, which in turn makes you worse and pushes her further....
Try to remove your emotions from the situation and NOT react to him (or them) when he pops round, infact become his best friend and take all of his time and attention while he's round your place....
If he see's that his arrival causes you grief he will play on this and make things much worse for you and the missus....
Now chill out and post those pictures you keep promising me.....
Your right I will try and be normal and fair but I think I might bring it up and discuss it with her.
At the end of the day if thats what she wants then i can't stop her, she's gonna do it anyway. But i think i will avoid the sex part because you never know what he is carrying and may have passed on (if something has gone on) and i don't fancy that.
Maybe i should **** her mum
12 October 2006, 12:42 PM
#36
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Originally Posted by davegtt
Tel was asking if THEY have chance to be alone together.
Yeah they actually do. When she drops the eldest over to his house and when he rings to speak to the eldest she disappears off on the phone, but says well I can't hear with the others running about
12 October 2006, 12:45 PM
#37
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Originally Posted by I-Need-Advice
Oh yeah what a helmet
Yeah they actually do. When she drops the eldest over to his house and when he rings to speak to the eldest she disappears off on the phone, but says well I can't hear with the others running about
Yeah they actually do. When she drops the eldest over to his house and when he rings to speak to the eldest she disappears off on the phone, but says well I can't hear with the others running about
12 October 2006, 12:45 PM
#38
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Originally Posted by davegtt
Thats one thing I would be worried about, I over looked it in the first post. Shes pregnant and if she does start to see this guy in the way your worried about I'd be concerned for the unborn if he has a habit of slapping her around
12 October 2006, 12:46 PM
#39
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Common theme in all these anonymous problem relationship threads are that the males come across as absolute wimps. The balance of power should never be with the female!
Making sure your she has condoms in her handbag is your best bet if you don't want to be saddled with bringing up another one of his.
Failing that, act like a man and she'll do no more than allow him access to 'their' child and not her gusset.
Making sure your she has condoms in her handbag is your best bet if you don't want to be saddled with bringing up another one of his.
Failing that, act like a man and she'll do no more than allow him access to 'their' child and not her gusset.
12 October 2006, 12:47 PM
#40
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Originally Posted by DCI Gene Hunt
This does not sound good..........
Do you see now why I can't be bothered now ??? Its like she has been playing me all along and i am now only aware because of the text.
12 October 2006, 12:49 PM
#41
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Originally Posted by Spoon
Making sure your she has condoms in her handbag is your best bet if you don't want to be saddled with bringing up another one of his.
12 October 2006, 12:52 PM
#42
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Originally Posted by davegtt
That sounds clever, sounds like a passport to go and **** other people to me.
Maybe thats what I'll do. Go and buy a big box of condoms and one evening give them to her in front of her dad, and say I thought I would get you these just in case. I want to look out for your best interests and would hate you to catch something. I should get the ex a box as well and do the same.Good idea ??????
12 October 2006, 12:54 PM
#43
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Originally Posted by I-Need-Advice
Maybe thats what I'll do. Go and buy a big box of condoms and one evening give them to her in front of her dad, and say I thought I would get you these just in case. I want to look out for your best interests and would hate you to catch something. I should get the ex a box as well and do the same.Good idea ??????
12 October 2006, 12:55 PM
#44
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Depends if you want you and her to work in the long run, you could just be very paranoid at the minute and humilihating her in front of her father will not go down very well.
12 October 2006, 12:56 PM
#45
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Worst thing in the world is reading txts your partner has sent to some F*CKING loser.
Sorry, still a little sore
You got 2 choices. Kick off and have a big row which will make things worse and irrespective of the guy being a drunken wife beater, she will see him with those stupid rose-coloured glasses most women see their ex-partners (the worse the ex, the more they want them IMO)
OR, bide your time and if you want to check up on her, check her phone for txts - or more to the point the lack of them. If she is up to something she will delete them as soon as she gets them (mine did and that was the biggest clue as to what was going on)
The fact that she left them on there is either she didn't think to remove them incase you checked or she didn't think they were a problem and nothing dodgy is going on.
All I can say is be careful, you think you want the truth but when you get it (and its not good news) its bloody horrible!!!
Sorry, still a little sore
You got 2 choices. Kick off and have a big row which will make things worse and irrespective of the guy being a drunken wife beater, she will see him with those stupid rose-coloured glasses most women see their ex-partners (the worse the ex, the more they want them IMO)
OR, bide your time and if you want to check up on her, check her phone for txts - or more to the point the lack of them. If she is up to something she will delete them as soon as she gets them (mine did and that was the biggest clue as to what was going on)
The fact that she left them on there is either she didn't think to remove them incase you checked or she didn't think they were a problem and nothing dodgy is going on.
All I can say is be careful, you think you want the truth but when you get it (and its not good news) its bloody horrible!!!
12 October 2006, 12:57 PM
#46
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Originally Posted by I-Need-Advice
Oh yeah what a helmet
Yeah they actually do. When she drops the eldest over to his house and when he rings to speak to the eldest she disappears off on the phone, but says well I can't hear with the others running about
Yeah they actually do. When she drops the eldest over to his house and when he rings to speak to the eldest she disappears off on the phone, but says well I can't hear with the others running about
If you'd have posted that in the first place, we wouldn't have needed all the intervening conversation. She's ******** him. So it's up to you if you think it's worth saving.
12 October 2006, 12:58 PM
#47
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Originally Posted by davegtt
Depends if you want you and her to work in the long run, you could just be very paranoid at the minute and humilihating her in front of her father will not go down very well.
To be honest couldn't give 2 hoots at the minute. She is a bloody good **** though
I could be paranoid but somehow I don't think so. Just recently she wouldn't think twice about humiliating me in front of FRIENDS / FAMILY . She always has good things to say about him though and others.
I keep thinking if the roles were reversed she would have come down on me like a tonne of bricks and probably be out the door by now.
12 October 2006, 12:59 PM
#48
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Originally Posted by davegtt
That sounds clever, sounds like a passport to go and **** other people to me.
12 October 2006, 01:00 PM
#49
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Originally Posted by TelBoy
If you'd have posted that in the first place, we wouldn't have needed all the intervening conversation. She's ******** him. So it's up to you if you think it's worth saving.
12 October 2006, 01:06 PM
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You don't seem very bothered that your missus is ******* a crack head and carrying his second son at the expense of your back breaking toils.
Time to grow a backbone sunshine. Time to get nasty.
Time to grow a backbone sunshine. Time to get nasty.
12 October 2006, 01:09 PM
#53
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Originally Posted by sociopath
You don't seem very bothered that your missus is ******* a crack head and carrying his second son at the expense of your back breaking toils.
Time to grow a backbone sunshine. Time to get nasty.
Time to grow a backbone sunshine. Time to get nasty.
12 October 2006, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted by I-Need-Advice
What do you advise
You had to go and get married, to a woman with 'baggage' and then to compound the error you had to breed with her. You've got yourself in a right old pickle.
She and crack head could end up with everything you've worked your whole life for. I think that's what they in homicide call 'motive'.
12 October 2006, 01:16 PM
#56
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Originally Posted by Alas
You're giving off a lot of conflicting messages m8.
First of all decide what you want. Then go from there.
First of all decide what you want. Then go from there.
First I think can't be assed, then i think again and think maybe I am paranoid. Who knows.
Lets change the post and everyone post either
keep
or
rid
or
Homicide
12 October 2006, 01:21 PM
#59
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Originally Posted by Sport160
Hire a private investigator to check up on her, at least you will know one way or another.
throwing it away at the moment if my suspicions are correct.
Maybe i'll become a PI
12 October 2006, 01:22 PM
#60
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Originally Posted by Sport160
So if she isn't do you still want to be with her ??