D.K.1

I know, and I would never deny my three from seeing their father.

I would also never want to use my children as a pawn, for anything.

They soon learn when they're growing up who does what for them and who gives a $hit about them. but those who just can't be bothered to spend time with their children because they have far more interesting things to do and don't pay, that's unforgivable IMO

D.K.1

I have a friend who has a child with someone ans he always, without fail gives his ex money for his child, plus buys things that she needs and helps the ex out whenever he can, yet SHE refuses to let him see the child on his own, and she has no grounds for this, he would love nothing more than to be ablr to take his little girl for the day and have her stay overnight with him and so on, but never gets the chance

*Sonic*

You never know you might get some coming on and saying that

Some people just dont want anything to do with their kids, once seperated for whatever their reasons are, to get at the mother, they never wanted kids etc etc etc, and some arent allowed to see their kids again for a variety of reasons, in most cases just the mother being awkward (in Julian's case and a few others that I know of)

However some of those people do still provide for their kids because the law states that they have to, some do it for that reason alone, some do it because they want to provide for their kids

A member of my family has never seen her father nor has he seen her, as he refused to have anything to do with her mother once she was pregnant, she is now 18, but he has always paid maintenance since she was born

Neverguess

I am no longer understanding this thread
We know what's right and wrong but I'm not sure what we are discussing??

*gets coat*

Peanuts

iTrader: (15)

we're discussing the need to implement a system whereby the money paid goes to the children alone, and the wayward mother can **** right off out of it and support herself with her "new man who treats the kids like his own", they're not his own, never will be, so give it up.

Neverguess

How can you give a 2 year old their own money and get them to buy stuff?? No system can have that happen.

It's a case of having decent parents in the first place. If an adult doesn't spend the money as they should then they should never have had kids in the first place.

D.K.1

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight, thanks for tha peanuts!

I was merely wondering what views fathers from seperated relationships did to support their child.

Doesn't matter if the mother has a new bloke on the scene or not, a lot of the fathers' have new wimmin too.

I would have expected more blokes to have stated that regardless, they want to and do see their children ans make sure they're well provided for, regardless of bad feeling between both parents

Neverguess

If I was a man I'd say mind your own business But I'm not, so I won't

D.K.1

I'm not asking for all the inns and outs

Just seems the children tend to be the ones to miss out in all this

Peanuts

iTrader: (15)

and they have to provide for them also, as if they were his own

Men should contribute to the upkeep of the child/ren, but unfortunately some mothers take the proverbial.
What does it really cost to feed a sprog for a month? And how often do children really need school uniforms?

D.K.1

It's not just school uniforms though, they go through shoes pretty quick and most clothes too, there's always something they need

Peanuts

iTrader: (15)

Listen, I agree, I also think that "we men" should do the right thing at least till either 18yo or leaving FT education.
But, Can there be anything more degrading to a man than have another man look after HIS kid/s "as though they were his own" doing all the upbringing bit while the (so called) mother reaps the rewards of a failed relationship and her good fortune at "snaring" a gold mine with a large ****?

Stephb1986

My brother had a child with his girlfriend at the time he was 21 and she was 23, then soon after my niece was born they broke up and he wasnt allowed to see her she said he had to pay so much a week blah blah blah, so he did just to see his daughter as she's got older she's 2 in december she's demanded more money, said he must pick her up at 10am and he's supposed to have her till 4 she would ring him at 4 and say you have to have her till 6 im in the pub. she gets her new fellas to ring him up threatening him for no reason. i know my brother isnt a total angel in all this but she stops him from seeing her if he's 10 minutes late. she's just a manipulative bitch and she's asking for a slap. my brother loves my niece to bits, i love my niece to bits i havent seen her in months coz of this bitch im missing out on seeing her grow up, i just hope she knows who her aunty is when she's older. but men have as much rights as women to see their kids it takes 2 to tango.

Neverguess

Adults Who'd have 'em??

D.K.1

How baout the blokes who disown their kids at the first sign of a failed relationship?

Yes it can be degrading to have another man bring up their kids, yet it wouldn't happen if the father was there enough for the children and made sure they knew who their dad is. There's also the other side of it where the father has a new woman and she helps bring that child up when they stay with them, then the mother is in the same degrading boat

What about the blokes who seem to think if they don't make any effort to see their children that they don't have to pay?

sarasquares

iTrader: (1)

not me

D.K.1

THere's plenty of mothers who don't have new partners because they don't get out as they spend all their time with the child and don't get out, yet the father who has no responsibility once he's on his own can go out whenever he pleases and see who he likes, because he can!

It's not as easy for a woman to get a new parter when she has kids either, as a lot of men won't look twice and scarper as soon as they find out about the kids

Turbohot

Those mothers can always buy a PC and join Scoobynet

sarasquares

iTrader: (1)

i wonder if you can get disposable kids

D.K.1

with what money when they barely make enough money to bring the kids up, let alone afford a PC

Turbohot

FAO Sara's post about disposable kids-

Never thought about that!

Turbohot

I know.It is a difficult one.Natural father should bear the responsibility to support the kids financially.But not always it happens.
In that case,the b@rstard can be blagged by law to buy mother a PC!

D.K.1

It would appear that some parents already have them

MadMark

At the end of the day the CSA is only interested in securing it's future - and so victimises all and sundry - to hit its targets and provide positive stories to the media on how well it's doing! (One of the UK's biggest failures as a Quango).

Payment and access are not mutually linked - but can be influenced by the parents / the courts. I agree with NG on this one - always to the detriment of the kids.

I've got a mate with 3 kids - all by different women. Luckily he's extremely wealthy and pays them all decent maintainance - but the kids will suffer as he has zero interest in any of them - he just wanted the mothers (sans child).

davegtt

What about them? what do you want us to say, theyre very bad people, whats the discussion/debate all about

*Sonic*

Did you read the 1st post

*Sonic*

I take it you havent got any kids then NG ?

davegtt

Yes, she wants peoples views on paying child maintenance, and we've already covered the fact that she'll be a lucky girl to find anyone who seriously disagrees with her own view, like I said we all know whats morally right and whats wrong, anyone who says otherwise is probably a person not worth knowing

*Sonic*

1 out of 2 aint bad




btw I am poor

so what your saying is all women in failed relationships go for large ****?

logiclee

Just to put a bit of a twist on the thread.

My workmate split up with his wife many years ago, they both have very good jobs. He's head of IT at our place and she is an accountant.
My mate got custody of his two children and receives child support from his wife.
His second marriage also failed after a few months, new wife was 15years younger and ran off with someone her own age (19). She is the daughter of very rich parents. As a wedding gift her parents paid half towards their new home. My workmate got everything and didn't pay a penny back as his ex-inlaws said he had suffered enough at the hands of their daughter.
He has now moved in with his third partner whose husband has died and left her everything as well as a decent widows pension, she also works and has a good job.

Is he the luckiest man alive?

Cheers
Lee