SMACS Muppet and Numpty corner
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From: Heart of Midlothian FC aka Hearts have the nickname "The Jambo's" - therefore I'm a Jambo too.
Right. Must close SN. Work to do. See you all in a few days!! No doubt there'll be another 100 pages added to this thread by then.
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From: On the PC, sipping a beer and listing to old skool choons :)
See ya later maty, have a nice day at work tommorrow, ive got another day off, so will mostly be eating bacon butties and drinking tea, inbetween power naps of course 
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From: On the PC, sipping a beer and listing to old skool choons :)
another funny website 
Facts on Farts
So what is fart gas made of
The composition of fart gas is highly variable.
Most of the air we swallow, especially the oxygen component, is absorbed by the body before the gas gets into the intestines. By the time the air reaches the large intestine, most of what is left is nitrogen. Chemical reactions between stomach acid and intestinal fluids may produce carbon dioxide, which is also a component of air and a product of bacterial action. Bacteria also produce hydrogen and methane.
But the relative proportions of these gases that emerge from our **** opening depend on several factors: what we ate, how much air we swallowed, what kinds of bacteria we have in our intestines, and how long we hold in the fart.
The longer a fart is held in, the larger the proportion of inert nitrogen it contains, because the other gases tend to be absorbed into the bloodstream through the walls of the intestine.
A nervous person who swallows a lot of air and who moves stuff through his digestive system rapidly may have a lot of oxygen in his farts, because his body didn't have time to absorb the oxygen.
According to Dr. James L. A. Roth, the author of Gastrointestinal Gas (Ch. 17 in Gastroenterology, v. 4, 1976) most people (2/3 of adults) pass farts that contain no methane. If both parents are methane producers, their children have a 95% chance of being producers as well. The reason for this is apparently unknown. Some researchers suspect a genetic influence, whereas others think the ability is due to environmental factors. However, all methane in any farts comes from bacterial action and not from human cells.
Facts on Farts
So what is fart gas made of
The composition of fart gas is highly variable.
Most of the air we swallow, especially the oxygen component, is absorbed by the body before the gas gets into the intestines. By the time the air reaches the large intestine, most of what is left is nitrogen. Chemical reactions between stomach acid and intestinal fluids may produce carbon dioxide, which is also a component of air and a product of bacterial action. Bacteria also produce hydrogen and methane.
But the relative proportions of these gases that emerge from our **** opening depend on several factors: what we ate, how much air we swallowed, what kinds of bacteria we have in our intestines, and how long we hold in the fart.
The longer a fart is held in, the larger the proportion of inert nitrogen it contains, because the other gases tend to be absorbed into the bloodstream through the walls of the intestine.
A nervous person who swallows a lot of air and who moves stuff through his digestive system rapidly may have a lot of oxygen in his farts, because his body didn't have time to absorb the oxygen.
According to Dr. James L. A. Roth, the author of Gastrointestinal Gas (Ch. 17 in Gastroenterology, v. 4, 1976) most people (2/3 of adults) pass farts that contain no methane. If both parents are methane producers, their children have a 95% chance of being producers as well. The reason for this is apparently unknown. Some researchers suspect a genetic influence, whereas others think the ability is due to environmental factors. However, all methane in any farts comes from bacterial action and not from human cells.
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From: On the PC, sipping a beer and listing to old skool choons :)
Blimy gav, where've you been spamming, you were aiming for 3000 posts a few days ago u sneaky red, youve been doing it in secret havent you 
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Joined: Feb 2006
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From: at the end ov the rainbow
another funny website
Facts on Farts
So what is fart gas made of
The composition of fart gas is highly variable.
Most of the air we swallow, especially the oxygen component, is absorbed by the body before the gas gets into the intestines. By the time the air reaches the large intestine, most of what is left is nitrogen. Chemical reactions between stomach acid and intestinal fluids may produce carbon dioxide, which is also a component of air and a product of bacterial action. Bacteria also produce hydrogen and methane.
But the relative proportions of these gases that emerge from our **** opening depend on several factors: what we ate, how much air we swallowed, what kinds of bacteria we have in our intestines, and how long we hold in the fart.
The longer a fart is held in, the larger the proportion of inert nitrogen it contains, because the other gases tend to be absorbed into the bloodstream through the walls of the intestine.
A nervous person who swallows a lot of air and who moves stuff through his digestive system rapidly may have a lot of oxygen in his farts, because his body didn't have time to absorb the oxygen.
According to Dr. James L. A. Roth, the author of Gastrointestinal Gas (Ch. 17 in Gastroenterology, v. 4, 1976) most people (2/3 of adults) pass farts that contain no methane. If both parents are methane producers, their children have a 95% chance of being producers as well. The reason for this is apparently unknown. Some researchers suspect a genetic influence, whereas others think the ability is due to environmental factors. However, all methane in any farts comes from bacterial action and not from human cells.
Facts on Farts
So what is fart gas made of
The composition of fart gas is highly variable.
Most of the air we swallow, especially the oxygen component, is absorbed by the body before the gas gets into the intestines. By the time the air reaches the large intestine, most of what is left is nitrogen. Chemical reactions between stomach acid and intestinal fluids may produce carbon dioxide, which is also a component of air and a product of bacterial action. Bacteria also produce hydrogen and methane.
But the relative proportions of these gases that emerge from our **** opening depend on several factors: what we ate, how much air we swallowed, what kinds of bacteria we have in our intestines, and how long we hold in the fart.
The longer a fart is held in, the larger the proportion of inert nitrogen it contains, because the other gases tend to be absorbed into the bloodstream through the walls of the intestine.
A nervous person who swallows a lot of air and who moves stuff through his digestive system rapidly may have a lot of oxygen in his farts, because his body didn't have time to absorb the oxygen.
According to Dr. James L. A. Roth, the author of Gastrointestinal Gas (Ch. 17 in Gastroenterology, v. 4, 1976) most people (2/3 of adults) pass farts that contain no methane. If both parents are methane producers, their children have a 95% chance of being producers as well. The reason for this is apparently unknown. Some researchers suspect a genetic influence, whereas others think the ability is due to environmental factors. However, all methane in any farts comes from bacterial action and not from human cells.
where is the missus ?? she shud keep you off here
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From: Heart of Midlothian FC aka Hearts have the nickname "The Jambo's" - therefore I'm a Jambo too.
I'll try to speak to my mate who's folks own a farm near me. His parents are pretty cool about letting us do stupid things on their property (tractor racing at 2am after a night out/clay pidgeon shooting (with a double barrel 12 bore) on new year's day after a night out etc).
He might still have the dirt buggy he made himself as a project for the welding course he did at college using fiat 126 running gear. Think we killed it though.
He might still have the dirt buggy he made himself as a project for the welding course he did at college using fiat 126 running gear. Think we killed it though.
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From: In the sport section...
I'll try to speak to my mate who's folks own a farm near me. His parents are pretty cool about letting us do stupid things on their property (tractor racing at 2am after a night out/clay pidgeon shooting (with a double barrel 12 bore) on new year's day after a night out etc).
He might still have the dirt buggy he made himself as a project for the welding course he did at college using fiat 126 running gear. Think we killed it though.
He might still have the dirt buggy he made himself as a project for the welding course he did at college using fiat 126 running gear. Think we killed it though.
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From: On the PC, sipping a beer and listing to old skool choons :)
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From: Manchester
you lot are mental, just taken me ages to read through all those pages of spam!!
I'll definately think about popping down to the rolling road day Ric, will let you know for definate nearer the time!!..
I'll definately think about popping down to the rolling road day Ric, will let you know for definate nearer the time!!..
Scooby Regular
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 10,006
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From: On the PC, sipping a beer and listing to old skool choons :)
Scooby Regular
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 10,006
Likes: 0
From: On the PC, sipping a beer and listing to old skool choons :)