SMACS Muppet and Numpty corner
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From: 270BHP WRX
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From: SMACS Greater Madchester
Originally Posted by Lee 2.0T
I remember that advert being on TV a while ago, last year maybe, there was a series of them
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From: Heart of Midlothian FC aka Hearts have the nickname "The Jambo's" - therefore I'm a Jambo too.
HaHa!!!
Got emailed this at work today.
I thought it was hilarious!
*************************************
DEPT OF TRANSPORT INITIATIVE - MAY 2006. Information Release.
There is concern over the current driving standards in England, so the
Department of Transport have devised a scheme to identify poor and dangerous drivers.
This system will allow all road users to recognise the potentially hazardous
and dangerous ones, or those with limited driving skills.
From the middle of May 2006 all those drivers who are found to be a
potential hazard to all other road users will be issued with a white flag,
bearing a red cross.
This flag clearly indicates their inability to drive properly. These flags
must be clipped to a door of the car and be visible to all other drivers and
pedestrians.
Those drivers who have shown particularly poor driving skills will have to
display two flags: One on each side of the car to indicate an even greater
lack of skill and limited driving intelligence.
Please circulate this to as many other motorists as you can, in order that
drivers and pedestrians will be aware of the meaning of these flags.
Thank you for your co-operation.
Department of Transport.
**************************************
I thought it was hilarious!
*************************************
DEPT OF TRANSPORT INITIATIVE - MAY 2006. Information Release.
There is concern over the current driving standards in England, so the
Department of Transport have devised a scheme to identify poor and dangerous drivers.
This system will allow all road users to recognise the potentially hazardous
and dangerous ones, or those with limited driving skills.
From the middle of May 2006 all those drivers who are found to be a
potential hazard to all other road users will be issued with a white flag,
bearing a red cross.
This flag clearly indicates their inability to drive properly. These flags
must be clipped to a door of the car and be visible to all other drivers and
pedestrians.
Those drivers who have shown particularly poor driving skills will have to
display two flags: One on each side of the car to indicate an even greater
lack of skill and limited driving intelligence.
Please circulate this to as many other motorists as you can, in order that
drivers and pedestrians will be aware of the meaning of these flags.
Thank you for your co-operation.
Department of Transport.
**************************************
Scooby Regular
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 882
Likes: 0
From: SMACS Greater Madchester
Originally Posted by paulthejambo
Got emailed this at work today.
I thought it was hilarious!
*************************************
DEPT OF TRANSPORT INITIATIVE - MAY 2006. Information Release.
There is concern over the current driving standards in England, so the
Department of Transport have devised a scheme to identify poor and dangerous drivers.
This system will allow all road users to recognise the potentially hazardous
and dangerous ones, or those with limited driving skills.
From the middle of May 2006 all those drivers who are found to be a
potential hazard to all other road users will be issued with a white flag,
bearing a red cross.
This flag clearly indicates their inability to drive properly. These flags
must be clipped to a door of the car and be visible to all other drivers and
pedestrians.
Those drivers who have shown particularly poor driving skills will have to
display two flags: One on each side of the car to indicate an even greater
lack of skill and limited driving intelligence.
Please circulate this to as many other motorists as you can, in order that
drivers and pedestrians will be aware of the meaning of these flags.
Thank you for your co-operation.
Department of Transport.
**************************************
I thought it was hilarious!
*************************************
DEPT OF TRANSPORT INITIATIVE - MAY 2006. Information Release.
There is concern over the current driving standards in England, so the
Department of Transport have devised a scheme to identify poor and dangerous drivers.
This system will allow all road users to recognise the potentially hazardous
and dangerous ones, or those with limited driving skills.
From the middle of May 2006 all those drivers who are found to be a
potential hazard to all other road users will be issued with a white flag,
bearing a red cross.
This flag clearly indicates their inability to drive properly. These flags
must be clipped to a door of the car and be visible to all other drivers and
pedestrians.
Those drivers who have shown particularly poor driving skills will have to
display two flags: One on each side of the car to indicate an even greater
lack of skill and limited driving intelligence.
Please circulate this to as many other motorists as you can, in order that
drivers and pedestrians will be aware of the meaning of these flags.
Thank you for your co-operation.
Department of Transport.
**************************************
Scooby Regular
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,304
Likes: 0
From: Heart of Midlothian FC aka Hearts have the nickname "The Jambo's" - therefore I'm a Jambo too.
You'll go to bed humming this.
Ohmygod. The people on this video clip have way way too much time on their hands.
Which came first? The Honda ads, or these??
And what on earth does the little jingle say at the end of each machine??
And the dance routine mid way through just cracks me up!! WTF are they smoking over there??
Enjoy!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...dible+machines
Which came first? The Honda ads, or these??
And what on earth does the little jingle say at the end of each machine??
And the dance routine mid way through just cracks me up!! WTF are they smoking over there??
Enjoy!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...dible+machines
Scooby Regular
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,304
Likes: 0
From: Heart of Midlothian FC aka Hearts have the nickname "The Jambo's" - therefore I'm a Jambo too.
Horses
Apologies to those who like them, but horses are rubbish. 
Got in from an evening ride out on the (push) bike about an hour ago.
I caught up with two horses and their riders on a country lane. When I was about 100ft behind them, one of the girls turned round and saw me coming, I moved way over to the right and slowed right down.
They both stopped and the horse on the outside even turned to look at me.
I was just about past them. All well and good... or so I thought. The bloody thing just spooked itself and went mental, lashing out with its rear legs.
The girl did well to stay on the thing. 
It calmed down and I asked her if she was ok which she was so I got back on my way, checking to see if i needed to change my pants when out of sight.
A bit later on and I'm flying down a bit of road near Mobberley. There's a slight curve in the road and as I come round it, there is a mahoosive pile of horse cr*p right on my line.
As you may be aware, bikes don't tend to like sudden changes of direction at high speed and with a car coming the opposite direction, my only option was to bunny hop the t*rd.
Unfortunately my skills aren't what they used to be and didn't get enough height, therefore clipping the top of the monstrosity and flicking shi*te into my face and up my back. I was nearly sick.
A similar thing had happened in the Scoob at the weekend. Nowhere to go but through several massive piles for about 20ft. Had to hose out both the nearside arches and give the doors and sills 3 or 4 blasts because it had baked on in the heat.
I therefore demand that all horse owners clean up after their animals!
I'm fed up of riding through the inevitable swarm of disease ridden flies that attack you, just before you gag on the overpowering smell.
Dog owners have to. All you have to do is carry one of those fold up military shovels in a bag and hey-presto - poo free roads. Or failing that horses have to wear nappies - seen it done in America!!
Anyway. End of rant. Feel better now that's off my chest.
(ducks behind the sofa as the comments from animal lovers arrive)
Got in from an evening ride out on the (push) bike about an hour ago.
I caught up with two horses and their riders on a country lane. When I was about 100ft behind them, one of the girls turned round and saw me coming, I moved way over to the right and slowed right down.
They both stopped and the horse on the outside even turned to look at me.
I was just about past them. All well and good... or so I thought. The bloody thing just spooked itself and went mental, lashing out with its rear legs.
The girl did well to stay on the thing. It calmed down and I asked her if she was ok which she was so I got back on my way, checking to see if i needed to change my pants when out of sight.
A bit later on and I'm flying down a bit of road near Mobberley. There's a slight curve in the road and as I come round it, there is a mahoosive pile of horse cr*p right on my line.
As you may be aware, bikes don't tend to like sudden changes of direction at high speed and with a car coming the opposite direction, my only option was to bunny hop the t*rd. Unfortunately my skills aren't what they used to be and didn't get enough height, therefore clipping the top of the monstrosity and flicking shi*te into my face and up my back. I was nearly sick.
A similar thing had happened in the Scoob at the weekend. Nowhere to go but through several massive piles for about 20ft. Had to hose out both the nearside arches and give the doors and sills 3 or 4 blasts because it had baked on in the heat.
I therefore demand that all horse owners clean up after their animals!
I'm fed up of riding through the inevitable swarm of disease ridden flies that attack you, just before you gag on the overpowering smell.
Dog owners have to. All you have to do is carry one of those fold up military shovels in a bag and hey-presto - poo free roads. Or failing that horses have to wear nappies - seen it done in America!!
Anyway. End of rant. Feel better now that's off my chest.
(ducks behind the sofa as the comments from animal lovers arrive)
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Posts: 14,511
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From: Salford & SMACS,,,,,,,,, and in the smacs muppets and numpty thread
i had a scary experience with a horse a couple of years back.
i was driving back from my brothers along the A666 when i noticed a bloody huuuge riderless horse running down the center of my lane
... with 3 cars on the opposite side of the road all i could do was drive on to the chevrons in the middle of the road and slow down, but the horse was still heading for the car but at about 15 feet away the horse saw me and i swear there were sparks off the horse hoofs as it tried to change direction i missed it by inches.i got round the corner and drove past the not very concerned looking rider that it had left, if i wasnt still shook up from what had happened i would have given her a piece of my mind.
the road that this took place on is a major road between manchester and bolton (if you didnt know) and they should have full control over there animals
.......*SMACS*...........
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Posts: 9,372
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From: Manchester - Official SMACS Cleaning Freak who suffers from OCD
Originally Posted by paulthejambo
Apologies to those who like them, but horses are rubbish.
Got in from an evening ride out on the (push) bike about an hour ago.
I caught up with two horses and their riders on a country lane. When I was about 100ft behind them, one of the girls turned round and saw me coming, I moved way over to the right and slowed right down.
They both stopped and the horse on the outside even turned to look at me.
I was just about past them. All well and good... or so I thought. The bloody thing just spooked itself and went mental, lashing out with its rear legs. The girl did well to stay on the thing.
It calmed down and I asked her if she was ok which she was so I got back on my way, checking to see if i needed to change my pants when out of sight.
A bit later on and I'm flying down a bit of road near Mobberley. There's a slight curve in the road and as I come round it, there is a mahoosive pile of horse cr*p right on my line. As you may be aware, bikes don't tend to like sudden changes of direction at high speed and with a car coming the opposite direction, my only option was to bunny hop the t*rd.
Unfortunately my skills aren't what they used to be and didn't get enough height, therefore clipping the top of the monstrosity and flicking shi*te into my face and up my back. I was nearly sick.
A similar thing had happened in the Scoob at the weekend. Nowhere to go but through several massive piles for about 20ft. Had to hose out both the nearside arches and give the doors and sills 3 or 4 blasts because it had baked on in the heat.
I therefore demand that all horse owners clean up after their animals!
I'm fed up of riding through the inevitable swarm of disease ridden flies that attack you, just before you gag on the overpowering smell.
Dog owners have to. All you have to do is carry one of those fold up military shovels in a bag and hey-presto - poo free roads. Or failing that horses have to wear nappies - seen it done in America!!
Anyway. End of rant. Feel better now that's off my chest.
(ducks behind the sofa as the comments from animal lovers arrive)
Got in from an evening ride out on the (push) bike about an hour ago.
I caught up with two horses and their riders on a country lane. When I was about 100ft behind them, one of the girls turned round and saw me coming, I moved way over to the right and slowed right down.
They both stopped and the horse on the outside even turned to look at me.
I was just about past them. All well and good... or so I thought. The bloody thing just spooked itself and went mental, lashing out with its rear legs.
The girl did well to stay on the thing. It calmed down and I asked her if she was ok which she was so I got back on my way, checking to see if i needed to change my pants when out of sight.
A bit later on and I'm flying down a bit of road near Mobberley. There's a slight curve in the road and as I come round it, there is a mahoosive pile of horse cr*p right on my line.
As you may be aware, bikes don't tend to like sudden changes of direction at high speed and with a car coming the opposite direction, my only option was to bunny hop the t*rd. Unfortunately my skills aren't what they used to be and didn't get enough height, therefore clipping the top of the monstrosity and flicking shi*te into my face and up my back. I was nearly sick.
A similar thing had happened in the Scoob at the weekend. Nowhere to go but through several massive piles for about 20ft. Had to hose out both the nearside arches and give the doors and sills 3 or 4 blasts because it had baked on in the heat.
I therefore demand that all horse owners clean up after their animals!
I'm fed up of riding through the inevitable swarm of disease ridden flies that attack you, just before you gag on the overpowering smell.
Dog owners have to. All you have to do is carry one of those fold up military shovels in a bag and hey-presto - poo free roads. Or failing that horses have to wear nappies - seen it done in America!!
Anyway. End of rant. Feel better now that's off my chest.
(ducks behind the sofa as the comments from animal lovers arrive)
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,304
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From: Heart of Midlothian FC aka Hearts have the nickname "The Jambo's" - therefore I'm a Jambo too.
Sorry mate. It was a last minute thing. I got to the Cat and it suddenly dawned on me what I said last week about a run out. Was going to phone you halfway round, but it was getting on a bit so decided against it.
Will remember next time - and it'll be nice to have something else to photograph. I took 50 pictures of my car and the sunset on the way round tonight!
Bit snap happy with my new camera!!
Paul
Will remember next time - and it'll be nice to have something else to photograph. I took 50 pictures of my car and the sunset on the way round tonight!
Bit snap happy with my new camera!!
Paul
