I think i may have a slight problem :(
15 November 2004, 04:08 PM
#151
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XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX UPDATE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Thanks again guys, lots of good advice!
I'm becoming a little concerned at the level of interest shown in my ring. Over 11,000 views and nearly 150 replies
Anyway, i wanted to just let you know how its all gone over the weekend.
TBH it was much the same Friday night, although the caressing has stopped and substituted by a bottle of wine to drown my sorrows.
With having the hot baths the old sphincter seemed to maintain a higher temperature than the rest of my body and as such seemed like a mini hot water bottle which, brought me back to SN to consult the advice. Quite a few peeps have proposed using ice as an advantage, however this perplexed me as to how best to treat Diablo, raw ice or wrapped up in tissue. For the full on effect i came to the following conclusion:
My kids have those lollie ice making kit things, y'know the plastic rocket shaped container you fill with fruit juice and then add the plastic stick, put in the freezer and hey presto, 4hrs later "a Lollie Ice". I filled one of the containers with Evian water, placed the stick inside and sat scratching my grummit until it was ready. The "Rocket" came out in perfect symmetry with a perfect "stick" which was 90 degrees upright. I scampered up stairs to the bathroom to see if i could soothe the savage beast.
Perfection is all i can say, the first 30 seconds of gliding the rocket over the beast in a manner that can only be described as like a professional violinist was ecstasy
So now i had experienced the value of heat and cold and i have to say i'm feeling much better for it. The once huge champagne grape has now divided and been conquered into 3 small peanuts each, not taught like a snare drum but soft and malleable like a ripened tomato.
Guys i think i'm well on the road to recovery and its down to the advice on here
I suppose i shall miss him in a way, you do become very attached to them you know
Fond memories of going for a dump and having that much germaloid cream in my rectum that my poo came out as if it was born from a giant tube of signal (yes i do mean the one that has red stripes in it)
I have (i hope) staved off a referral to the hospital, one can only hope it will never get to that stage
Now wheres that curry menu
Thanks again guys, lots of good advice!
I'm becoming a little concerned at the level of interest shown in my ring. Over 11,000 views and nearly 150 replies
Anyway, i wanted to just let you know how its all gone over the weekend.
TBH it was much the same Friday night, although the caressing has stopped and substituted by a bottle of wine to drown my sorrows.
With having the hot baths the old sphincter seemed to maintain a higher temperature than the rest of my body and as such seemed like a mini hot water bottle which, brought me back to SN to consult the advice. Quite a few peeps have proposed using ice as an advantage, however this perplexed me as to how best to treat Diablo, raw ice or wrapped up in tissue. For the full on effect i came to the following conclusion:
My kids have those lollie ice making kit things, y'know the plastic rocket shaped container you fill with fruit juice and then add the plastic stick, put in the freezer and hey presto, 4hrs later "a Lollie Ice". I filled one of the containers with Evian water, placed the stick inside and sat scratching my grummit until it was ready. The "Rocket" came out in perfect symmetry with a perfect "stick" which was 90 degrees upright. I scampered up stairs to the bathroom to see if i could soothe the savage beast.
Perfection is all i can say, the first 30 seconds of gliding the rocket over the beast in a manner that can only be described as like a professional violinist was ecstasy
So now i had experienced the value of heat and cold and i have to say i'm feeling much better for it. The once huge champagne grape has now divided and been conquered into 3 small peanuts each, not taught like a snare drum but soft and malleable like a ripened tomato.
Guys i think i'm well on the road to recovery and its down to the advice on here
I suppose i shall miss him in a way, you do become very attached to them you know
Fond memories of going for a dump and having that much germaloid cream in my rectum that my poo came out as if it was born from a giant tube of signal (yes i do mean the one that has red stripes in it)
I have (i hope) staved off a referral to the hospital, one can only hope it will never get to that stage
Now wheres that curry menu
15 November 2004, 04:27 PM
#153
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Originally Posted by Capacious Nadgers
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX UPDATE XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The once huge champagne grape has now divided and been conquered into 3 small peanuts each, not taught like a snare drum but soft and malleable like a ripened tomato.
The once huge champagne grape has now divided and been conquered into 3 small peanuts each, not taught like a snare drum but soft and malleable like a ripened tomato.
15 November 2004, 05:23 PM
#156
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Originally Posted by Bons
--snip--
i have a friend who is into homeopathy...
--snip--
i have a friend who is into homeopathy...
--snip--
If taking a homeopathic remedy "makes you feel better" then great (it's known to science as the placebo effect), but if you have any kind of serious condition consult an MD first for goodness sake otherwise you may not live to regret it.
16 November 2004, 12:51 AM
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Newbie........with good advice I'll have you know!
Ok Piles man.
The reason that there have been so many views and so many replies is that your quite the celebrity on most car forums around the country! I myself got directed here from another very well-known site/forum..by a few peeps who had posted at how much of a comical genius you are..although very sympathetic to your prob
As for hot baths...you really dont want to be doing that oo much....it will only serve to inflame the bugger more, which really is NOT what you want. What we've got to do here is shrink it..so ice is a great big YES!
The reason that there have been so many views and so many replies is that your quite the celebrity on most car forums around the country! I myself got directed here from another very well-known site/forum..by a few peeps who had posted at how much of a comical genius you are..although very sympathetic to your prob
As for hot baths...you really dont want to be doing that oo much....it will only serve to inflame the bugger more, which really is NOT what you want. What we've got to do here is shrink it..so ice is a great big YES!
16 November 2004, 09:17 AM
#161
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Bons,
I think you will find hot baths or hot towels are medically proven to reduce swelling and aid the healing process. Applying anything hot to the gremlin will increase blood flow and and aid in the removal of the clot. Cold objects will numb the area and provide temporary pain relief.
I think you will find hot baths or hot towels are medically proven to reduce swelling and aid the healing process. Applying anything hot to the gremlin will increase blood flow and and aid in the removal of the clot. Cold objects will numb the area and provide temporary pain relief.
16 November 2004, 11:28 AM
#163
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Taken from another site I use, where some had read this thread
My mate a few weeks ago told me about his mate who'd been to hossie in Liverpool to have some removed.
They stitched it all up - and he was in pain
A week later - the nurse wanted to change the dressing so he rolled over, and she started to tug the dressing off. He said his mate said he'd had the most stupid terrible pain in his life and he pleaded for them to stop - they wouldn't so he shoved her away - a couple of male nurses ran in and three fought with him while he screamed in agony and they attempted to pull off the dressing.
IN the end he passed out and they ripped it off - only to find the surgeon had accidentally caught a few stiches in the pad they'd just forcibly removed - with half his a***.
He had to go straight back into surgery while they stopped the hemmoraging.
They stitched it all up - and he was in pain
A week later - the nurse wanted to change the dressing so he rolled over, and she started to tug the dressing off. He said his mate said he'd had the most stupid terrible pain in his life and he pleaded for them to stop - they wouldn't so he shoved her away - a couple of male nurses ran in and three fought with him while he screamed in agony and they attempted to pull off the dressing.
IN the end he passed out and they ripped it off - only to find the surgeon had accidentally caught a few stiches in the pad they'd just forcibly removed - with half his a***.
He had to go straight back into surgery while they stopped the hemmoraging.
17 November 2004, 02:10 PM
#170
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Originally Posted by hawkthescoobslayer
a SHout for my wife for help (I think not)
b run round the house shouting screaming with a chocolate matchstick stuck out of my ar$e
c Pull it out?
....
slams down and SHEARS THE NUGGET CLEAN OFF
please be careful out there
Paul
b run round the house shouting screaming with a chocolate matchstick stuck out of my ar$e
c Pull it out?
....
slams down and SHEARS THE NUGGET CLEAN OFF
please be careful out there
Paul
12 January 2005, 04:08 PM
#177
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Hi
Just wanted to say thanks to everyone. I was finally sorted out by the end of November and there have been no repercussions since although i have to admit i have watched what i eat and sat on etc over the last few months
I didn't get referred to the Hospital and indeed i never returned to my GP as the "lollipops" and baths managed to sort everything out.
Just wanted to say thanks to everyone. I was finally sorted out by the end of November and there have been no repercussions since although i have to admit i have watched what i eat and sat on etc over the last few months
I didn't get referred to the Hospital and indeed i never returned to my GP as the "lollipops" and baths managed to sort everything out.
12 January 2005, 11:35 PM
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Hang on in there.
Oooops, sorry.
Great thread - well written. Comedic style to get a delicate situation over. Couldn't believe this re-appeared tonight.
Max
Oooops, sorry.
Great thread - well written. Comedic style to get a delicate situation over. Couldn't believe this re-appeared tonight.
Max