Nightmare

"whys it got a tea tray on the back"?

"Nice ferrari mate" (Lotus)

"Nice Lotus mate" (Lambo)

bloke at petrol station "my mates got one of them subarus - put new air filters and 20" wheels on it. It does 0 - 60 in under 4 seconds now - bet thats quicker than yours"
"er..yes"

mother : (she has many!)

"ooh - you bought a car an elephant has sat on" (Lotus)
"I cant get out!" (she wasnt kidding either - had to drag her out head first!)
"Slow down - Im a magistrate and I'll send you to prison!" (she is)

parents next door neighbour... "if you want me to do any work on it, just shout" (Lambo) I politely declined

weirdest was definitely a guy serving in a petrol station.. "yeah - Ive got a spare wheel for an Impreza if you want to buy it" One wheel? where did he get that I wonder....

ROSS

"Nice car mate but why put a Nova SRI scoop on the bonnet? Looks Daft with that on it."

ptholt

A friend of mine who drives in the Met police, who had just returned from pursuit training in norfolk (i think he said) started along this line of conversation just as my scoob had finished warming up :-

policeman - Yeah the those Volvo T5's pull like a train ...(I floor it in third) CHRIST THIS THINGS QUICK - WE'D NEVER CATCH YOU !!

LOL



[This message has been edited by ptholt (edited 22-02-2000).]

ptholt

On same journey as above with other friend in car who works for WDR racing in Sunbury.
(The company that run and prepare the Honda touring cars).

This thing feels like it would keep up with our touring car !!!!

(they run a two seat accord touring car for (press days etc).
I have some really funny photos of him looking all cocky getting in the passenger seat of it with Peter *** driving, then getting out a little later looking very white hehehehehehe

TonyNesta

Best one I had, last summer while stopped at a junction, an old woman walked up to the open driver's side window.....

woman:"What colour is that then ?"
Me:"Err, Blue."
woman:"No - what colour is it ?"
Me:"Err, Blue ?"
woman:"No - whats the actual colour?"
Me:"Err - Reddish Blue."
woman:"Ooh, its lovely that is."

...and walked off!

blp

Some choice comments from first time passengers:

1) "Christ, all my blood just went into my toes!"

2)"How fast was that?"
"Sorry, I was concentrating on the road"

3)"I am a father with 3 grand children"

4)"So did you see the film the other....(silence)"

5)"This is just like the bloody TV"

6)"I do not believe that you went X into that corner and X out of it!!!!"

7)"Very nice, but are the BRRRAAAKKKKEEESS up to the job?"

8) "We were moving so damn quick I couldnt make out the trees and road"

9) "Silly Silly Silly Mad Mad Mad Un &^%$*ing real. I want one."

And as a post note, please let me assure all readers that I was driving rapidly, smoothly and with progress throughout, and not like a idiot!

Beef

{cough) Yeah right (cough)

tiggers

Not quite on the same lines, but funny all the same.

Conversation between me and Subaru dealer who shall remain nameless.

Me: So what are the differences betwen the MY99 and the MY00 then?

Dealer: Well there's colour coded door handles and mirrors, variable intermittment wipe, a slight change to the interior console and the wheels are a different shape.

Me (tongue in cheek): But the wheels are still round aren't they?

Dealer (deadly serious): Well, Yes I suppose so.

Regards,

Tiggers

BarryK

Quotes since I got it in November last year include

"Is it fast then?"

"Do you like it?"

"Who spends twenty grand on a car with no CD player or sunroof?"

Pointing to spoiler " I don't see the point of these things". I replied, "high level brake lights! Surely a very good safety addition?"

And "I can recommend a route which takes you via a carwash".

Penni Whitehead

I've remember another one hope you don't mind...

My poor car (my first Scoob) left in Tesco car park whilst I was on training course.

Some a'hole or 2 / 3 had tried to steal it..

ripped out the console under the steering wheel to hot wire - unsuccessfully....


me stressed beyond belief...after finding this and plus nearly 50 CDs stolen out of the boot...

waiting with Tesco Security Guard... for the arrival of 'not at all happy' husband... who
arrives ' yells - screams - jumps up and down' then goes home to get trailer so we can tow the poor dear baby home.....

as husband disappears in cloud of gloom...

Security guard turns to me and says....

'He's not taking this very well is he????'

doooooohhhhhh.....noooooooo!!!!!!
understatement of the year....

[This message has been edited by Penni Whitehead (edited 22-02-2000).]

gizmo71

"Is that one of those Evo things then?"

"It's not exactly subtle is it?"

johnfelstead

picture the scene, rally car going way to fast for the corner, chuck it in sideways toooo late, roll, roll, roll. oh ****. stop upside down on roof.

hand comes through still upside down front window with business card.

On the card, BISH BASH BOFF weve got your OFF video productions

Suresh

Penni,
Can't imagine for the life of me why anyone would leave their pride and joy overnight in a public car park! (polite way of saying Doh!)

Back to topic -

In a petrol station in Kempston recently:

Lad of 20: Is that a turbo mate?
Me: (smiles)
Lo20: If it is, why hasn't it got leather?
Me: (shrugs)
Lo20: I've got a turbo AND I've got leather! (points to rusting Uno with leather front seats)

Bless!

[This message has been edited by Suresh (edited 23-02-2000).]

Sheridan

Too many to remember
S&^t from various people most memorable was Wife, Mother in Law and Father in Law all at once.
Wife after a particularly quick roundabout ' I going to have to get better supporting bras for this car'
Secretary on the way to a meeting 3rd gear flooring to get onto the motorway, expletives followed by 'I don't mind going quick but do we have to get there so quickly ?'

Maxwell Straker

More rallying exploits here from myself and Geezer.

Stood in Clocaenog Forest one Saturday afternoon watching a club event of some description. Elevated section of track with 15 foot drop to area where loads of trees had been felled.

We got talking to this bloke who said his son had got a reserve entry to the rally (his first event) and was running at car 13, the next car through. We can hear said car approaching the open air right hander, still not backing off........still not backing off.......still...oh dear, catastrophy, big roll out of event, Dad to the rescue.

A little later we were talking to the driver (unhurt) watching the remaining cars.

I said - 'I think you were trying a bit hard?'
Driver - 'Well, I didn't come here to be last!'
I said - 'Well you have now!'

Gethin

....but it's not a proper Subaru right....they have a large spoiler....

...ahh you stuck on that WRX sticker right...you can get them fron the magazines...anyway...the proper ones have gold wheels...

Justin

Friend of mine took his MR2 into the local Toyota dealer to be checked over after being hit in the rear.

The car had lost all power and sounded a bit odd to say the least, so naturally he suggested there might be something amiss with the exhaust etc.

Mr. Toyota looked confused, then commented on how this was very unlikley what with the engine being at the front of the car and he being hit in the rear??!!!

Mike Rainbird

Justin,
You've reminded me of another!

I had just parked up in the centre of town (in the MR2) where I had arranged to meet a mate. When he got in the bar he said "You must have been here ages, sorry that you had to wait so long."
Confused, I asked what made him say this.
"Well I just saw your car and felt the bonnet and it was stone cold..."
I nearly spat my drink at him I laughed so much (much to his embarrassment - "Well how was I to know" was his retort!).
LOL
Mike

H@work

I remember when I was in my old shape MR2 (6 years ago - during a tour of the North East)filling up at a petrol station up Berwick way. An old chap wanders over taps me on the shoulder and politely says, "I think you need to put some air in your tyres there almost flat!"

He'd never seen seen a set of 17's with 40 rubber on before - ahhhhh bless

Adam B

From A neighbour at my parents house:

"... I must say, your car is a bit noisey, is it a diesel? "

Black Cat

Suresh
... exactly where did it say over night???
it was left from 9:30 - 4:30 busiest time of day...

and besides where it was left and when is totally irrelevant to what the thread is about - FUNNY COMMENTS ABOUT YOUR CAR... - REMEMBER !!! - If I worried about parking the thing it would never come out of the garage.

Sorry forgot to sign it...

Penni


[This message has been edited by Black Cat (edited 23-02-2000).]

Showtime

Baseball cap comes down the drive with his mates, I'm busy drooling over the engine bay of newly aquired STi 2.

"Nice motor mate"
Thanks
"Fast innit"
just a bit
"Whats the BHP"
about 280
"not bad, I used to have an RS Turbo that had 400"
Amazing (snigger) must have had some serious mods.
"No, just been chipped"
waaaaaahaaaaaa....stop stop.....please...it hurts...

KevinW

Comments about my car, let me think....

I've no badges on my boot, and considering the police have now got Scoobys this is a little strange. After being stopped in Mansfiled, Notts by a T5 for having a break light out the cop asks "is it a... Subaru?"

My recent parking ticket of more than 28 days ago details my car as a TOYOTA something! And the twit got my reg wrong (I do have fully legible number plates), should I come clean and pay it?

Other comments;

"why'd you buy a red one?"

"whats the fastest you've had out of it?" (undoubtedly the most common question)

"When you gonna let me have a go?"

Overheard "Subarus ain't that quick!" (either drives a Mclaren or met a Justy on the road)

Was late getting mother to the airport, accelerated hard a few times. She remarked "this is worse than the plane!"

From STi owner (early STi I think) "I like your spoiler" (I quickly changed the subject)

From newly aquired aquaintance in L reg unmodified WRX "yeah, I've 250bhp too!" (not what the FAQ says!)

Female companion remarked "god you certainly get noticed in this car!"

Most common comments my friends get from others when they mention my car is red "yeah, I know him." (wow, have I really got the only red Scoob in Nottingham?)

From a bloke on a biggish bike after a bit of a play "I thought you were an unmarked cop" (What!!! with a private plate and 17s)

From a guy at the garage who does the body mods on my car "my mate wants to know why you won't race him. He really wants to race ya!" His friend owns a heavilly modifed Sunny GTi-R. After further conversation I extracted the following from him "mind you it breaks down nearly every week!"

Many more, but don't worry I won't put any more of you to sleep!

Kevin

Mick

iTrader: (1)

Up slope, ease gas on, push into turbo whine zone, big smile. Friend says 'you like doing that don't you?'

At MOT station:
'Your exhaust is knackered mate won't pass emissions' - Exhaust was perfect emissions A OK
'Your rear brakes are binding ... Oh so are the fronts.... Ah must be the centre diff!'

At work:
'It looks so cool, you have to have a RED one!'
'Oooo... well... I don't really like the Gold wheels'

Mick

ptholt

Had a strange one the other day, was filling with petrol in Dorking and there was a policeman and a suited guy in front of me in the queue to pay, both busy talking to each other.

They leave together and head straight for my car, suited guy stands back and looks, policeman wandering all round it looking it over.

Here we go thought i, i see him knock on the drivers window and open the door to talk to my other half in the passenger seat.

By now i've finished paying and am expecting the worst as i walk out the door but am surprised to see the policeman walking off !

Ask my other half what he said :-

<policeman> 'this is an impreza right ?'
<missus> 'yes'
<policeman> 'sorry to trouble you, nothings wrong, i just wanted to ask you some questions about the car'
<missus> 'er yeah sure, but my husband will know better'
<policeman> 'i'm in court today with an impreza driver and i need to gen up on them, is this the 300 bhp one or the 400 bhp one ?'
<missus> 'er it feels like the 400 bhp ! best check with my husband'
<policeman> 'no its ok, it certainly looks like the 400 bhp one, thanks for you're help'

So if you were the impreza driver in Dorking court on Wednesday, i hope you and your brief picked up on the fact the policeman was completely clueless.

sickboy

taking a 225 TT for a test drive with slimey dealer. He's driving and realing pushin it:
Me: Is that flat out?
Sd: Yeah
Me: It's not a patch on the Scoob.
Sd: Jaw drops.

Later I'm driving and remark that I think the TT is very grippy.
Sd: Well yeah, it's got proper 4 wheel drive, not like that Subaru rubbish. It gives 156% more grip in the wet.
Me: (thinks) what a t&*t

Me oes it have heated mirrors?
Sd:Oh yes. Er I think so. Um, I'm not sure.

Aero

I have an MY94 WRX type RA in white (of course)
I like it's anonimity, no stickers or badges, no spoiler or skirts. (SSBB gives a little away though) .I've even been toying with the idea of moving the I/C and putting on a sport bonnet. (I could sell the old one to someone with lowered cavalier )
Anyway, at the local driving range, a blue STIv4 type R (who never waves) pulls up. The bloke behind the counter looks at me and says 'That's what yours should look like.'
I think, 'Listen Pal, I decide what my 'ing car looks like!' but instead walked off looking bemused, if not a little offended.

Mike Rainbird

More dealer bollocks. This time from a Lotus specialist. I had a V8 Esprit on demo for the weekend back in '98 and it was the one that had been used to do all the testing for the magazines (appeared on Driven etc), so was a little rough round the edges (kerbed alloys, worn driver's seat) and all with only 13,000miles on the clock.

Driving along at an indicated 90mph on the duel (sic ) carriageway I noticed that everyone else seemed to be driving as fast and I was actually being overtaken by loads of mundane cars being driven by mums etc! It felt very stable and not like 90mph at all, so we got my mates Cossie and put then side by side with me doing an indicated 100mph.

We then pulled in. "How fast?"
"85"
"85!?, I was doing 100!"

At this point we both just started laughing. No bloody wonder everyone seemed to be doing 90, it was more like a "real" 75!

When the dealer came to collect the V8 on the Monday morning, I commented on the fact that I thought the car was slow and that the speedo was wildly inaccurate.

Dealer, "How do you know?"
Me, "Because I put it side by side with a mate's car and it over-reads by 15mph, which is probably more like a true 20mph!"
Dealer gave me a bit of a mischievous smirk and replied, "Well it helps sell cars...."

He was most perturbed when I said that it did nothing better than the Cossie and was not much faster than the S4.....

He came out with the classic, "Yeah, but this is a Lotus and the Cossie is a Ford (said with a tinge of distaste )". I turned round smiling, looked him straight in the eye and replied, "Yeah a Ford that can kick an Esprit V8's ****, doesn't say much for the Lotus does it..." He didn't know what to say, bless 'im!
LOL
Mike

Ian S

August 1999
Proudly arrive home with new 5 door:

5 year old daughter (pointing at rear spoilers):
"what's that bit for ?"

7 year old daughter:
"It's for picnics - the bottom shelf is for childrens drinks, the top one for the grown-ups hot coffee - so we can't get burnt".

Funny thing is, she was right !

Ian

johnfelstead

The one i get at EVERY petrol station i stop at when in the westfield.

"is it quick?" errrmmm yes LOL