tmo

As previously stated around £250 per month, if he doesn’t flinch then ok, if he does use the " I am helping you understand the real value of money". Its not making a profit its about contributing to the overall running cost of the house / food / bills / laundry etc etc.
The “ I usually cook too much anyway” rule does not apply, you will be very surprised how the weekly / monthly shop goes up when you have another mouth to feed.
If you don’t set your stall out at the beginning you will never get back to the level of contribution you should be at.

Brendan Hughes

Barely sensible, but OK...

I think you have two conflicting views here. One is to charge him a lot in the hope that he learns the value of cost of living, and that he doesn't make himself comfortable.

Another is to charge him a low rent to allow him to save up a deposit and get out of your hair and onto the property ladder. You risk that he makes himself comfortable.

Depending on how sensible he is, you might even want to charge him a high rent but secretly put 1/3 into an account for him to use as a deposit on a flat in a year or so. The question then will just be if he can make the repayments.

sciboy

It was £80.00 a month 20 years ago, in Yorkshire, FFS. :incredulous: £160.00 a month would be closer but not enough...

JoanUK300

Roger, what you said is exactly what Peter said!!!! Quarter of his wages...yes ideal.

I also agree with you all that maybe he should be looking for a place of his own but he wouldn`t be able to afford the rent/mortgage. He has just bought himself a BRAND NEW Civic Type R, which I said at the time..."wait and see if your mum does move first as the HP will be crippling" but did he listen....NO.
Also, from what Peter says I am not sure he is 100% agrreable that he does come and live with us.....after all he is still his son and I wouldn`t let my son become homeless, that is why we are parents!!!!(pick up the pieces and all that)

AND as Peter pointed out last night he will think nothing at paying £70 for a pair of jeans and £130 for a jacket(which I was appalled to find out it is not even lined....old fashioned bit coming in there!)
As the days are going by, I don`t think this is going to happen as Peter said last night, he is going to tell him £200 a month to start with and if the bills go up extortionately, then he will expect more....BUT....with that he might WANT to stay with his mum and stepdad as it`s cheaper but then he will have to fork out the extra petrol which will be in the region of £50 a week just to be able to get back down here for work.


Brendan...he shows no signs of wanting a place of his own, he would have to do all the washing, cooking, cleaning etc...when he comes round here for dinner he doesn`t even bother to load the dishwasher so the word 'laid-back' comes to mind

Keep it coming with more info......cheers.
Joan.

Brendan Hughes

Consider carefully if it's the money you want, or a human contribution to the house.

If I paid rent, I wouldn't accept that the landlord asked me to load the dishwasher either. Yet you could get worked up that he just happily hands over his cash and doesn't lift a finger - you could think he's being arrogant and lazy, whereas he just thinks he's paying in order not to do something himself. Make sure exactly what the conditions are to keep both sides happy.

JoanUK300

I am not expecting him to help around the house, but I would expect him to put his dirty clothes in the linen basket, keep his room tidy, tidy up after himself, like picking magazines etc off the floor, at least put his dirty plates in the dishwasher, dirty cups in the sink, things like that, after all he is 25 and should by now, be showing some signs of responsibilty, my 9 year old does the odd thing around the house, although I do have to re-do his bedroom cos it looks twice as bad when he tidies it....
The money doesn`t bother me either really, but as we have recently moved and doubled the mortgage, money is a bit tight, it is Peter who says he 'is not going to carry him' which I can understand too as he is on a good wage, but does tend to waste it, but we were all young once and it`s no good trying to put an old head on young shoulders.


Joan.

JoanUK300

""happily hands over his cash and doesn't lift a finger - you could think he's being arrogant and lazy, whereas he just thinks he's paying in order not to do something himself.""

I`m not going to be his skivvy.........no way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
edited to say forgot how to do the quotey thing

ProperCharlie

only problem is that if i sack him, i'm going to be doing myself out of rent money.



the benefit is that pay rise = rent increase.

<welcome to world of capitalism, bro>

lordharding

iTrader: (1)

mmm

I think the next part of the boys plan now that he has got a decent car is say £150 <keep> a month of which we will put it in an account for him
ssecretly
it would help him live on less !!

Teach him nothing is free in life

It will mount up in the bank and then he can have it when he finishes colleage and then it will furnish a house for him .

That sound reasonable

I kinda feel sorry for the kids of today

In my day (old man river) 20 years you could get a cheap starter home for £19 k now the same house in cumbria is £95

imagine trying to pay that back on cumbrian wages

Rachael

Three years ago, I had to move home when my landlady decided to sell the house I was in. I paid the parents £240pcm - which is what I had paid while living away from home... I also paid my share of the phone-bill (most of it! ) and for any extra living expenses, like extra shopping, the odd bottle of wine etc. I didn't pay towards council tax, electricity or gas bills.

Add a bit more on for inflation....


I know that my parents did not spend any of the money I paid them, and that it is in a separate account ready to pay for my wedding (they may be waiting a VERY long time!) or towards a house deposit if we need it eventually.

Leslie

£70 a week all in and he is still getting a bargain!

Les

markwild

hmm - this is a right tricky one - I've told my daughter that she doesn't need to pay anything until she gets a full time job - (going to college this year), BUT that she won't be allowed to use that as an excuse not to get a job...

However, her boyfriend is always moaning that his mum charges him 30 quid a week and he gets nothing for it - but I don't see him going hungry and his clothes 'magically' get washed etc....

My daughter is also the 'do nothing' type - dishes left on the top of the dishwasher 'cos it was full' - EMPTY IT THEN !!....

I think that the 'rent' is not rent - no more than you'd expect him to pay back the last 20 years of support... - You're really teaching them about group survival / contribution and the ability to budget in the real world - everyone needs boundaries, its finding where they lie thats the tricky bit...

Time for him to stop thinking about an easy ride - He's 2 choices - if he's not happy to coff up, he'll struggle to find somewhere else - I don't think you'll be doing him any favours by letting him stay too cheaply / easily (i.e. without pulling his weight around the house).

Mark

Jay m A

iTrader: (2)

If he can afford a Civic Type R he can afford £400 a month all in.

If he can't then his priorities are all wrong.


I remember after leaving uni and landing my first job, paying my parents £150 a month on the understanding that I was saving £200 a month for a deposit on a flat. 3 years later I moved out, the biggest shock was paying all those bills and my shirts didn't iron themselves anymore

ProperCharlie

i think it is hard to get the balance between wanting to help family, and letting them take the p*ss. often they don't even know they are taking the p*ss; if you've never had to live in shared houses and whatnot, you don't necessarily know how little things like not buying milk/butter/bogroll/washing up liquid etc can become *big* issues. also doing the washing up, laundry etc.

my brother asked the other day if he had to pay rent whilst he was on holiday!

i replied: "do you think i have to pay the mortgage when i'm on holiday, or does the bank just let me off?"

Nexuas

Sorry not read all of the thread, but will say what I think...

I am a similar age and earn a similar wage, but I spend £700 a month on a mortgage, + insurance/council tax/phone bill/Gas/Electric etc... I own a scooby (Only a sport but it is still an impreza) My other half works but is self employed and still getting her client base up and so does not earn a huge amount. We have to be selective on what we spend my money on, and I think your step son should have to learn to do the same. I think I read he spent £130 on a jacket :yikes: And has a new CTR. Tell him to sort his life out and get his priorities right.

Charge him £400/500 a month in rent, take about £200 to cover bills etc and put the rest in a savings account in no time at all he will have a decent deposit for a house and will have learnt to budget his money, it is a win-win situation for all of you. Although he will not see it that way...

Tough love is what is needed. If he decides to stay with his mum then I think she should charge him the same and save his money on his behalf otherwise he will still be 30 and living at home.

JoanUK300

Nexaus.... I think his mum deliberately kept his 'keep money' low so that he wouldn`t go anywhere else....but that has done him no favours as he now expects us to be a soft touch too. Also goes to show she hasn`t been much of a mentor as far as money is concerned.

Leslie.... I thought around £50-£75 per week, then any that becomes surplus I would save in a 'secret account' so that when and if he does move back out he will have a tidy sum to fall back on.

Jay m A....I told him before he got the car to hold back until he found out if his mum and stepdad would be moving, he would at least of been able to save some money and then see what happened.


Will be at the in-laws at the weekend (stepson comes too) so I am sure they will put their two-penneth in!!!!!


Joan.

Wish

iTrader: (2)

I never paid a penny when i lived at home.

weapon69

I can't remember living at home But when i was 15 i had to pay 50quid a week to my landlady.

Jo Peters

Blimey! When I lived at home I paid £25 per week and that was 16 years ago!!!

Jo

PALATINE

£10 per day £70 a week if he's a good kid. if he's a bit of a kno8head £100 to compensate!

JoanUK300

PALATINE.......MADE ME LAUGH

Butkus

JoanUK300,

Am I right in thinking you don't really like the boy much? That's just the way I interpret your posts about him...

JoanUK300

No, actually he is a good kid. Even though his prioties are a bit off courseThings have got better between us since he became 17, the ex-wife didn`t have a hold over us any more, and no longer reliant on Peters maintenance money, he became more independent and things just improved.

I wont say we have always been this close but it`s Peters first wife really, can`t stand the b!tch, she is so twisted and deranged and given any chance will sure to s1ag us off, but now the tables have turned........."you reap what you sow".

All I can say is I don`t want to be taken for a ride, I wouldn`t expect it from my own son so I don`t expect it from Peters eldest.


Joan.

Account deleted by request

[QUOTE=the benefit is that pay rise = rent increase.

<welcome to world of capitalism, bro>[/QUOTE]

Absolute classic comment

:

Brendan Hughes

I wouldn't tie his rent to a proportion of his salary.

How would you like it if you went to a landlord and he said "Show us your payslip first, and then we'll work out how much. And you have to tell me of any pay rises you get."

Tim-Grove

{edit}

oppps wrong thread

GC8

Im not sure if anyones said this yet: but isnt it about time he grew-up? I think that being a 25 year old earning £25,000 per year and living with you mother; paying less than £20 per month is feeble.

Simon

carl

He must be 26 by now...

StickyMicky

in my last job i payed 10% of my weekly wage top line, normally ranged from about £40 to about £80/week

current job is self employed so that was all thrown out the window
im now paying only £30/week
which is cheap, but to be honest, im never there
i get most of my meals at work, im there 12 hours a day at least, i go home at night to get cleaned up and have a kip and thats about it, there is normally a meal there for me when i get home around 7.45pm

StickyMicky

i dont think sumbody should just move out because other people think he should grow up

25k does not pay enough to buy a house these days IMO
the smart money is to stay where its cheapest with a decent enough standerd of living

me, im 27 i earn more then 25k and im still at home
i am the oldest of my parents 3 kids, the youngest, my sister, moves out this friday

£350/month rent on a 1 bedroom flat, she does not earn much, her boyfriend is probably earning the same as her, i know they will struggle with them payments

my younger brother moved out first, he has 2 kids, and lives with his G/F, to be honest, its not a nice place to live, i would not live there, im scared to leave the scooby outside when i visit, he works for ME cash in hand to make ends meet, i pay him quite a bit extra then the rest of my staff (they dont know) as i like to help him out, i will be happy to help my sister as well when they become stuck

i would say i was the brightest out of the lot regarding the houseing situation, fair play sum people think i need to grow up or sumthing along those lines, there entitled to think that, i think it would be stupid to move out now, i had planned to buy a place years ago with an ex G/F, bought all the household goods etc etc, broke up before it happend and just gave her most of the stuff we had bought,
i still have ceiling fans and stuff boxed up under my bed that have never been opend

FWIW i have put plans in motion to move out next year as i belive then, i will be in a proper position to do things how i want, instead of just jumping out because other people think i should be