Reffro

Tell her to sling her hook if she starts contacting you again. She's using you plain and simple.

Though if you do want to give it a try, tell her you'll only see her again when she has permanently split with her boyfriend, no dates, no flirting and definitely no how's your father until then. I suspect you'll not hear from her again though.

Jay m A

iTrader: (2)

RickWalk has it spot on

If she's serious about you, then this will be the thing that eventually ends her on/off 4 year relationship. But no way share her, WTF do you think that will achieve short or long term?

Tell her you'd definately want a relationship with her if she was single, you don't do baggage so let her sort herself out. If she doesn't split with her boyfriend then in her eyes you're not the one for her.


and as for Julian one day you'll grow up and it'll be too late. Get some responsabilitys and I don't mean save up for CSA day

logiclee

Don't see her again. You would never be able to trust her so a long term relationship is out of the question.

Not really into sloppy seconds either so I'd give the short term thing a miss as well.

Lee

weapon69

That's really sad you're not the only bloke by any means to do that and think its ok though. Personally i'd be heartbroken if i found out that me and my baby meant nothing to my bf.

I think if you are getting to really like this girl then you should avoid the situation. If she's just going to be your fcukbuddy until you find a 'proper gf' then why not? If she doesn't care, why should you??

Apparition

If you're feeling confused now........ things are only going to get more complicated as this thing progresses.... confusion can lead to upset and upset can lead to broken hearts etc......take a long hard think. X

john_s

iTrader: (1)

Some interesting replies... cheers guys & keep 'em coming. I think it's helping me clear things up (slowly) by making me think about it more objectively.

BTW, I found it interesting that there were a few assumptions above that her partner is a bloke...

More thought required!

All input appreciated. Cheers,

John.

Dazza01

Any chance of her mobile number so we can all have TXTual intercourse with her

LOL only joking m8 surprised no one on here has asked for it yet thou

the moose

I made no such assumptions.......

Not that it makes a blind bit of difference either way - fact is, the girl you're seeing is someone's partner at present. Unless and until that situation changes, you're going no further than sex, which, although fun, isn't all a relationship's about.

Jolly Green Monster

iTrader: (4)

I felt sure you were going to say she had actually been with her partner for 3.5years and has a 6month old kid and lives with her parents!

BOB.T

Been there, done that, would never get involved with anything of the sort again, no way not never!

Scooby96

Julian.... she's at her mum and dads with our 6 month child........

oh, you're a nice bloke then!

Drunken Bungle Whore

She sounds like a female version of Julian to me....

Tell her you'll continue to see her but only if she makes a clear choice between the 2 of you. If she doesn't want to then she's answered your dilemma.

juan

That would have been class

stu200

iTrader: (1)

John,

It doesn't matter if the long term partner is a guy or a girl ... you're pi55ing about in somebody else's relationship, which is a very low thing to do.

FrenchBoy

if she leaves her current partner for you, i can assure you she'll be banging him/her again in no time behind your back.

its obviously something she's comfortable with so i'd agree with the others that say that this women isn't a keeper.

(unless you dont mind that sort of thing)

Jolly Green Monster

iTrader: (4)

I thought so

Markus

I best chip in, don't want to upset my fans

A tricky situation. My view? well, she is cheating on her partner, regardless of whether he knows or not, and that simply is not cricket. So their relationship is a bit on and off, even still, she's with him at the moment. OK, so we're not in the stone age, but even still, people are being messed around here. She has obviously had a bit of a guilt attack, and is probably not sure exactly what she wants.

So what to do? well, If you really do like her and would want to be more involved with her then talk to her about this, she'll probably either want to keep it as it is, or split with her partner and start seeing you. Either way, if you talk to her seriously about this then you'll know what the score is.

One thing to bear in mind though is this. If you're seeing her, do you think she might not see her partner or someone else on the sly? thus cheating on you? I ask as she is doing it to her current partner and so there is a chance she'd to it to you too.

I'm just a little funny about cheating/being cheated, it never helps only ever hurts. If you're ok with it then that's ok I guess.

urban

iTrader: (1)

PMSL

Brilliant, just brilliant

Shaun

Oops, PMSL again!

Scooby96

I had a brief sexually motivated relationship with a girl for approx 3 months last year (Jan-March) and I found out she was still banging her ex. Cheeky sl@g asked me for half and him for half the abortion cost - **** knows whos it could have been.

I thought very highly of her and it broke my heart when I found out. The lying slU+ certainly changed my view on getting a bit on the side. Yeah I did it when I was 17/18/19.... but that was casual. The skanky b1tch put on all the "Oh, I've never met anyone like you, you're the best" blah, blah, blah and all the time she was getting an extra sausage on the nights I had my kids!

Not that I'm bitter at all, M U C H!

Anyhow thats history as they say

Give her an ultimatum, if she says no then theres no future in it anyway. As people have said she'll easily do this again if things get a bit stale with a new bloke (ie YOU)

weapon69

blimey. you're not careful then!! ewwww sloppy seconds

TopBanana

Is this Scoobynet or Jerry Springer?

Adrian F

If she does it to him she will do it to you.

She sounds like trouble. if you like living on the edge always wondering when she is out where she is and if she works late if she is in fact with some one else then she is the women for you other wise walk away now because when it comes out and it will you will be in one big mess.

weapon69

John s, have you ever cheated on someone?

Geddon

Call me confused but I thought the partner was female?
If so, surely its a question of her sexuality rather than a choice between 2 people?
If I've got the wrong end of the stick pls tell me to shut up

Jay m A

iTrader: (2)

Well if her partner is a woman, then maybe they are v.happy and <ahem> trying for a baby

Now THAT is Jerry Springer

John S

If her other half is a woman you could have said in your 1st post Its a hell of a job turning them back

fitzscoob

to be fair, you have to think about how you would feel if someone was banging your missus while you were together (not in the same room......well depends if your into that........erm slightly off topic :P )

How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

whatever happens i wish you luck a woman scorned and all that (asuming shes part dyke)

Markus

Agree with the "shoe on the other foot" thing. I know exactly how I'd feel if I found out my girl was getting it on with another chap, and, past experiences excepting, I know exactly what I'd do: Tell her to pick one, or sling her bloody hook. Hard to do if you like her a lot, but it's better in the long run, if she does it once, then she is quite likley to do it again, and think about how crushed/stupid you'd feel if you found out it happened again?

scooby-tc

iTrader: (2)

Julian you sound like a complete (oops...I said the C word) maybe you should grow up and stop acting like a kid.
I bet you're a chav too

john_s

iTrader: (1)

No.

In the past I've always avoided getting involved with women who were in any way attached. Don't know what it is in this case that's got me breaking my own "rule"; I think that's part of the confusion I'm trying to work out.

As Geddon has suggested, I strongly suspect that she may be trying to work out her sexuality, and I think that perhaps that may be the reason I didn't just leave well alone.

John.