Getting Married....
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Joined: Mar 1999
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From: Dumbartonshire
Being married does not and can not possibly make you a better parent. Being married will NOT save this sh*thole of a country??? roflmao 
I'm still waiting for 'one' positive reason to get married. Most of the supposidly 'positive' reasons I hear always compare married people to single people and not to 'singles' who have or plan to live together.
Here some reasons to forget it all together.
1. There is NO social pressure to marry. There is so little stigma to living together now compared to that stigma only 20 years ago, that society applies very little pressure to take the plunge.
2. Sex and marriage are not synonymous. Although there are still religious and other pressures to confine sex to marriage, many social attitudes have changed, making cohabitation out of marriage more acceptable. Birth control is effective. The fear of getting pregnant is gone. Even your Auntie Mavis has moved in with her boyfriend instead of marrying him.
3. Medical advances have made bearing a child later in life safer. This weakened the age-old reason of marrying young to have children.
4. The high divorce rate has made many couples more cautious about marriage. You don't want to be a divorce statistic (again?)!! do you??
5. Marriage is seriously scary. It's silly age old vows make it so-o-o-o forever sounding that many can not nor want to take the plunge. But then again a quicky divorce makes a mockery of this one, hmmm.
6. There are no real financial reasons. Both women and men are financially independent today. They do not feel the same financial pressures to marry as their parents did.
7. Jobs pay well but they are less secure. With job security seemingly much less than for previous generations, marriage and the possibility of a family seem more risky in the eyes of many singles.
8. And there is more to do. More places to go. More choices, including some that did not even exist for the parents of today's 20 to 40 year-old singles. Why confine yourself to a life of convention?
9. Sex becomes seriously boring once your married (so my married m8's say), wouldnt know myself.
10. Everyone else does it so it must be crap
Give me 10 possitive reasons, someone???? Please
edited to say: In fact give me more than 10 reasons, as there seems to be more risks involved in getting married than not getting married
[Edited by Jye - 10/28/2003 2:55:09 PM]
I'm still waiting for 'one' positive reason to get married. Most of the supposidly 'positive' reasons I hear always compare married people to single people and not to 'singles' who have or plan to live together.
Here some reasons to forget it all together.
1. There is NO social pressure to marry. There is so little stigma to living together now compared to that stigma only 20 years ago, that society applies very little pressure to take the plunge.
2. Sex and marriage are not synonymous. Although there are still religious and other pressures to confine sex to marriage, many social attitudes have changed, making cohabitation out of marriage more acceptable. Birth control is effective. The fear of getting pregnant is gone. Even your Auntie Mavis has moved in with her boyfriend instead of marrying him.
3. Medical advances have made bearing a child later in life safer. This weakened the age-old reason of marrying young to have children.
4. The high divorce rate has made many couples more cautious about marriage. You don't want to be a divorce statistic (again?)!! do you??
5. Marriage is seriously scary. It's silly age old vows make it so-o-o-o forever sounding that many can not nor want to take the plunge. But then again a quicky divorce makes a mockery of this one, hmmm.
6. There are no real financial reasons. Both women and men are financially independent today. They do not feel the same financial pressures to marry as their parents did.
7. Jobs pay well but they are less secure. With job security seemingly much less than for previous generations, marriage and the possibility of a family seem more risky in the eyes of many singles.
8. And there is more to do. More places to go. More choices, including some that did not even exist for the parents of today's 20 to 40 year-old singles. Why confine yourself to a life of convention?
9. Sex becomes seriously boring once your married (so my married m8's say), wouldnt know myself.
10. Everyone else does it so it must be crap
Give me 10 possitive reasons, someone???? Please
edited to say: In fact give me more than 10 reasons, as there seems to be more risks involved in getting married than not getting married
[Edited by Jye - 10/28/2003 2:55:09 PM]
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Why?
Because the you both want to spend the rest of your life's together and want to make a serious, public, promise to each other that you will do whatever you need to to achieve that goal.
A lot of people seem to feel that getting married is like the final part in the growth of you relationship, and once you are married that's it, complete, no more work required. This drives me nuts. It's an early step in an ongoing process. Regardless of whether you want to get married or not, if you are involved in a relationship and want to stay in it permenantly there will come a point when you will have to reach that level of commitment, whether you do it in your own head, just between the 2 of you or in front of you friends and family is up to you, but it comes to the same thing, getting married is just doing it in public so that everyone else knows you mean it.
Because the you both want to spend the rest of your life's together and want to make a serious, public, promise to each other that you will do whatever you need to to achieve that goal.
A lot of people seem to feel that getting married is like the final part in the growth of you relationship, and once you are married that's it, complete, no more work required. This drives me nuts. It's an early step in an ongoing process. Regardless of whether you want to get married or not, if you are involved in a relationship and want to stay in it permenantly there will come a point when you will have to reach that level of commitment, whether you do it in your own head, just between the 2 of you or in front of you friends and family is up to you, but it comes to the same thing, getting married is just doing it in public so that everyone else knows you mean it.
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Joined: Mar 1999
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From: Dumbartonshire
Because the you both want to spend the rest of your life's together and want to make a serious, public, promise to each other that you will do whatever you need to to achieve that goal
Done all that without a silly bit of paper, still together after 15 years.
Next.
Done all that without a silly bit of paper, still together after 15 years.
Next.
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"Jye - 9. Sex becomes seriously boring once your married (so my married m8's say), wouldnt know myself."
Dont know about this one - I think any relationship thats 1/2/5/10 or 15 years old will have the same sexual problems irrespective of whether you're married or not.
Thankfully my sexlife with my missus has only got better in the 6 years we've known eachother
[Edited by Scooby96 - 10/28/2003 3:14:04 PM]
Dont know about this one - I think any relationship thats 1/2/5/10 or 15 years old will have the same sexual problems irrespective of whether you're married or not.
Thankfully my sexlife with my missus has only got better in the 6 years we've known eachother
[Edited by Scooby96 - 10/28/2003 3:14:04 PM]
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Because the you both want to spend the rest of your life's together and want to make a serious, public, promise to each other that you will do whatever you need to to achieve that goal
Done all that without a silly bit of paper, still together after 15 years.
Next.
Done all that without a silly bit of paper, still together after 15 years.
Next.
whether you do it in your own head, just between the 2 of you or in front of you friends and family is up to you, but it comes to the same thing, getting married is just doing it in public so that everyone else knows you mean it.
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But why not just declare publicly your commitment to a relationship. Personally I dont see the need to get married but my gf wants to and I'm not fussed either way so it doesnt matter as such if I have th piece of paper that says it.
I have kids which have both our surnames - and a step son who obviously has his fathers surname. I suppose I'd like my gf and my kids to have just my surname - especially as my gf still uses her married surname as she hates her maiden name!
A clue - her nickname was "my face"
I have kids which have both our surnames - and a step son who obviously has his fathers surname. I suppose I'd like my gf and my kids to have just my surname - especially as my gf still uses her married surname as she hates her maiden name!
A clue - her nickname was "my face"
Jye,
Because it isn't right for you, does that mean it's wrong???
I've seen people together for 15 years and their relationship is on the rocks.
I've seen people together for 15 years and their relationship is still going strong.
I've seen people together for 6 months and their relationship is good.
I've seen people together for 6 months and they have had enough.
I've seen people who are young and it works.
I've seen people who are old and it works.
I've seen people who are young and it doesn't work (and they say being young is the reason)
I've seen people who are old and it doesn't work (and they say being old is the reason)
Which of these people are married, which of these are not, which of these want to get married, which of these don't want to get married. Does it matter???
If people have you feelings on marriage, then fair enough.
If people want to get married, that's also fair enough.
Do you think it's right that someone should dictate what you should or shouldn't do??
Because it isn't right for you, does that mean it's wrong???
I've seen people together for 15 years and their relationship is on the rocks.
I've seen people together for 15 years and their relationship is still going strong.
I've seen people together for 6 months and their relationship is good.
I've seen people together for 6 months and they have had enough.
I've seen people who are young and it works.
I've seen people who are old and it works.
I've seen people who are young and it doesn't work (and they say being young is the reason)
I've seen people who are old and it doesn't work (and they say being old is the reason)
Which of these people are married, which of these are not, which of these want to get married, which of these don't want to get married. Does it matter???
If people have you feelings on marriage, then fair enough.
If people want to get married, that's also fair enough.
Do you think it's right that someone should dictate what you should or shouldn't do??
Scooby Regular
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 5,896
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From: Dumbartonshire
AvalancheS8 soz never noticed the way you worded that, Scooby96, yeah I guess, good points both.
I think its the way 'the law' treats unmarried couples that pisses me off tbo. I mean if I want to formally adopt my partners kid I 'need' to get married, what a load of crap. Loads of silly rules like this, especially pensions, wills etc.
Ooops I've mentioned three reasons to get married, ffs must be the weather
I think its the way 'the law' treats unmarried couples that pisses me off tbo. I mean if I want to formally adopt my partners kid I 'need' to get married, what a load of crap. Loads of silly rules like this, especially pensions, wills etc.
Ooops I've mentioned three reasons to get married, ffs must be the weather