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Old Feb 7, 2003 | 03:11 PM
  #121  
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From: 1 of the ESC 1
Angry

How about the 8th letter of the alphabet, it is said "aitch" NOT "haitch" !!!!! hmmmmmm

Also to much use of the exclaimation mark!!!!!!!

Ed
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Old Feb 7, 2003 | 03:25 PM
  #122  
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From: Swilling coffee at my lab bench
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In no particular order:

- anything including 'could of', 'would of' etc. It's 'could HAVE' - learn to pronounce words properly and you might just learn which words you're actually supposed to be using.

- management jargon - 'thinking outside the box', 'squaring the circle' and the rest. WTF?

- estate agents' jargon in property descriptions - 'laid to lawn' and such.

- the use of the word 'engineer' to mean anyone with any technical training whatsoever. Someone who fixes washing machines is NOT an engineer, he's a technician. The engineer is the one who designed it such that it survived ten years' abuse before requiring a visit from a technician. There is no shame in being a technician, any more than there's anything wrong with being a nurse rather than a doctor or surgeon. Surgeons don't empty bedpans, and engineers don't fiddle about inside old washing machines. (Rant over )

Andy
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Old Feb 7, 2003 | 03:51 PM
  #123  
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I don't know if this one has been on but...

Can you borrow me (so and so)
FFS it's Can you lend me.

Grrr
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Old Feb 7, 2003 | 04:12 PM
  #124  
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From: Casualty or Holby City, Take your pick, it's not like that in real life!!
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More i've thought of......

Getting down to the nitty gritty (for those in the know, this is a racist comment)

"by the close of play....."

Within parameters

When I get told to "Grow up" - real niggle when I'm upset and expressing my deepest feelings to my other half!

When people call me "DUCK" - Local slang thing as in alright me duck?! TW*TS!



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Old Feb 7, 2003 | 04:33 PM
  #125  
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From: Talk to the hand....
Angry

We like a "can do attitude" - you mean you want to exploit me [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]

We are a "meritocracy" - you mean we want you to kiss ***.[img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
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Old Feb 7, 2003 | 05:12 PM
  #126  
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From: LIVERPOOL THE CENTRE OF EXCELLENCE
Unhappy

"Your application for bail has been denied,you will be remanded in cusdardy until your next court appearance"

I hate that one..........
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Old Feb 7, 2003 | 05:53 PM
  #127  
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From: Talk to the hand....
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"need to know basis" - you really think I'm interested in your grubby schemes??

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to shoot you" = I'm a jumped up little p**ck.[img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]
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Old Feb 7, 2003 | 06:13 PM
  #128  
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From: on the rear wheel
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i apologise if ive repteated anything, but couldnt be arsed to read all seven pages, here goes

'twisties' on almost every post on scoobynet
'do you want anything else' after youve just ordered
'Ive got a mate with ..' you just know its cr@p
'Its only a game' said after a losing football match


WizzBang

MR2 turbo sideways EVERYWHERE

ps. few more
'pslewis, jye_0 and all the other 'jokers' on this forum'
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Old Feb 7, 2003 | 09:01 PM
  #129  
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Mummy, Yoza's scaring me.
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Old Feb 7, 2003 | 11:12 PM
  #130  
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Oh, I've got another.....

'Mark, I'm 7 days late....'

<thud> Marks hopes and dreams crash on the floor.

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Old Feb 7, 2003 | 11:16 PM
  #131  
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christ all mighty mark thats along time to sit and wait for a woman
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Old Feb 8, 2003 | 01:01 AM
  #132  
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Thumbs up

Great thread!

I used to work for a US bank - must have been based on Dilbert.

Some that stuck in my subconcious include the ever popular:

"run it up the flagpole and see who salutes it!"

and one which left us thinking WTF in a meeting once:

"Good to know you've all got your guns loaded and ready for bear"

We were in Windsor - not known for its bear at the best of times! The guy responsible actually stopped when he saw our looks of incomprehension.

Poor sod had to suffer overhearing us coming up with UK equivalents as we tried to match this incomprehensible management speak during a break. I remember someone being "All flied up and ready for trout"!

Just say what you mean - don't try to dress it up to look clever or important!
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Old Feb 8, 2003 | 01:34 AM
  #133  
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And best of all...

"You won't get there any faster!"

(Yes I damned well will)

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Old Feb 8, 2003 | 01:57 AM
  #134  
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Thumbs down

From a non techie manager.

"Oh, if you could just quickly re-write the system this afternoon to have it ready for tomorrow morning, that would be great"

"But don't spend too long on it"

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Old Feb 8, 2003 | 09:00 AM
  #135  
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I hate being called 'duck' altho it sounds more like 'dook'. I also hate being called 'love'.

I also hate the phrase 'same difference' when used in the wrong context.

the phrase 'people person' also gets on my wick.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Loo
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Old Feb 8, 2003 | 09:46 AM
  #136  
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... just heard another one on the radio that hisses me off ...

dub dub dub ........ instead of 'www'
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Old Jun 2, 2003 | 02:07 AM
  #137  
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From: Talk to the hand....
Talking

...mate!!...

[Edited by unclebuck - 2/6/2003 2:07:46 AM]
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Old Jun 2, 2003 | 09:45 AM
  #138  
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When people kick off a sentence with'Basically'

and 'with the greatest respect' - Yeah, right

[Edited by Paul Habgood - 2/6/2003 9:49:51 AM]
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Old Jun 2, 2003 | 09:46 AM
  #139  
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From: Casualty or Holby City, Take your pick, it's not like that in real life!!
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My particular ones are :

Work related =

Dissaffected youth - Young criminals with no prospects
Deprived Wards - Poor areas in a county
We will have to suck it and see - WTF? SUCK WHAT?!
You can't say/do that, it's not "PC"

Everyday ones =

I hate people who say PROGIDY instead of PRODIGY!
Also when people say ANGILA instead of ANGLIA
People who say BARTH instead of BATH - BLOODY SOUTHERNERS!!

There are loads more which I know I'll add later, hust can't think at the minute!!!



[Edited by red_dog104 - 2/6/2003 9:47:24 AM]
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Old Jun 2, 2003 | 09:47 AM
  #140  
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People that start a phone conversation with

... can you help me... (NO)
... sorry to bother you.... (THEN WHY DID YOU)
also
... chill out.....
.... yummy scrummy...
.... proactive....
.... we need to team build....

people that pronounce their 'h' in words where they clearly shouldn't...

people that distort the english language....
like..... three bad instead of too bad
.... Marky Sparky instead of Marks & Spencer

people who use cliches all the time to describe a situation or event...

I could go on but I won't
P


oh oh oh.... I forgot...... 'HAVE A NICE DAAAYYYYY'...... aaaaaggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!


[Edited by Black Cat - 2/6/2003 9:49:19 AM]
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Old Jun 2, 2003 | 09:55 AM
  #141  
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oh i forgot "burgalry" no its not its "burgLAry"

and one of many that the american military use but currently the worst "collateral damage" no you actually mean poor innocent bastids who are gonna get killed in the crossfire.

[Edited by mattstant - 2/6/2003 9:56:21 AM]
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Old Jun 2, 2003 | 10:54 AM
  #142  
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... with all due respect......

... oree..gan...o (as the british pronouce it) when the correct pronounciation is in fact the american way (sorry but it is)
....or reg gan-O


and of course.... it int... instead of ...it isn't

.... Martin Bashir.....
.... Michael Jackson.... certainly had enough of that



[Edited by Black Cat - 2/6/2003 10:55:08 AM]
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Old Jul 2, 2003 | 09:55 AM
  #143  
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"I think we need to review the project and prioritise some tasks" - in other words all the stuff you were doing is now on my desk. Grrr.

Oh thought of some more....

It did it by itself, I didnt touch it.
No i didnt spill coffee over the keyboard, it was there when i come in.

[Edited by druddle - 2/7/2003 9:56:42 AM]
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Old Jul 2, 2003 | 10:06 AM
  #144  
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incentivize
incentivization
Z instead of S
zeeees instead of zeds
"reprioritise your workload"
you're when it should be your
"are you a technician?"
positive discrimination

and when viewed through the windscreen after helping you test your ABS is still working OK

BMW
Volvo
Mercedes
baby on board

[Edited by TolTec - 2/7/2003 10:12:40 AM]
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Old Aug 2, 2003 | 12:19 AM
  #145  
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'nip it in the bud'

and

'corner'

[Edited by mbc - 2/8/2003 12:22:20 AM]
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