jim, the point is i like the trees- they are nice to look at and give us privacy.....but not when 11yr old jimmy is swinging in them while billy ripps the branches down!!!! destructive little *****!

T

 

Ok Tiggs, fair point...

Can you get a chainsaw and take the lower branches out, so they can't reach to climb up the tree?

Jim

 

No no no no NO!

The correct term is -

Take the lower LIMBS off with the chainsaw so they cant climb...






But dont touch the tree , cut their legs off instead!

 

If you are that peed off about, wait till its dark and no one about then cut the lower branches off so they cant get into the tree.

I dont mind kids being kids, its just when they become irratating. Once foolowed some kids home after they played slam on my garden fence and told me to **** off. Played slam on their dads garage door, he got the picture!!!, and they did not do it again.

Let me know if you cant get a chainsaw, as i am quite handy with one.

 

LOL. Tiggs doesn't want the kids swinging on the branches and snapping them off. Solution? Chainsaw the branches off instead.

DOH!

 

Ive got an electric one in the boot of my car, right this second..

 

Nahh you want a proper one, big noisy petrol one, 3 foot blade, that will do the trick.

Could always build a taller fence

 

No just half cut through the high branches, then get a beer and sit watching them fall out the tree..?

Either that or electrify the trees which cable from the house.. might get put away for it though?



JGM

 

hmmm,
option 1= nice tree, lots of branches for privacy,
option 2= wrecked tree, kids sat in tree
option 3= saw branches of tree, look at daft branchless tree but no kids.


OPTION 1 PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I think we're back to that 12-bore.

 

Or the Raptors

 

raptors with 12 bores!!!!

 

with a petrol chainsaw in the other claw?

 

Some basic physics has gone amiss here, I think

 

Dunno how they get up, but judicious lashings of razor-wire wrapped round branches should do the trick - tidy too. Or nails embedded in the trunk.

Or go & poopa-scoob the neighbourhood & leave it all dotted around, in, on their camp. They won't stay for long after that! Cow-pats the other favourite.

Or "leave" a sprinkler on that goes over the wall & wets them whilst they play.

Do ground clearance on all the bushes below the trees - unobtrusive to you but no fun for them to set up camp in. Suggest 50m in all directions. (Better line of sight for claymores )

 

You could easily turn this situation into a money-spinner : simply pick all the conkers off the trees and flog them to the kids !

They'll probably be gone when the conker season's over anyway, so hold off on those punjee-stake traps and anti-personnel mines as you'll never win a guerilla war against kids !!

 

What about sticking some stuffed guinea pigs in the trees to scare the kids off when they start climbing?

 

I thought it was moles that were terrifying, not guinea-pigs?

 

Stick some hump back bridges either side so mad people can try and jump the camp.

Might frighten the little ******* a tad

 

yelp, they are kids. Give them a chance to become addults like you...er, hm (scratches head???). Glad I had a garden and some fields to play when I was young. Have you been young once?


Ralf

 

[ vision on ]

2003: Dictator Tiggs proclaimed the Anti-kids-polluting-trees-act and promised to raise the number of slaughtered youngsters dramatically

[ vision off ]

<< shiver >>

 

Quote from Tiggs:
option 1= nice tree, lots of branches for privacy,

Another quote from Tiggs
"my house backs onto fields, just behind my rear fence are 3 horse chestnuts then open fields."

You want privacy from open fields? Surely these kids are clearing the view for you?

 

ROFLMAO @ Neil's Diagram

 

"You want privacy from open fields? Surely these kids are clearing the view for you? "

on occasion there has been know to be the odd walker a few hundread yards from my fence, trees are nice in case they look my way!

T

ps- its raining and they are all at home!!!!!!

 

Tiggs,

I guess the rain dance worked then

 

Sorry if this has been suggested (haven't read it all...) but can't you encourage your dog to dump in and around the camp, plus any dumps you get in your garden, chuck em over the fence.

 

why not try the direct approach and tell 'em to f**k off. [img]images/smilies/mad.gif[/img]

or just report them to the police. tell them you are worried about the fires they light and the under age drinking that is going on.

 

Either this is a wind up or you are one miserable ******

And to think of the grief you gave me about the kid/dog issue..LOL...

I hope the wee buggers fight back..LOL....

D

 

Get ITV in...

"Help I'm a kid stuck in a tree...get me out of here!"

 

Throw sticks at them.
If they complain tell them you are also trying to get at the conkers but keep missing...

Mak.