Well I've certainly changed my mind about them. Having recently fallen out with our dearest Webmaster regarding her majesty's finest:-

I return home last night late from work. As I go to turn on to my drive theres a fed in a car, kerb crawling towards me. Well I aint gonna wait all day and theres loads of room so I pull on to my drive. The fed stops, gets out and starts seeing his **** with me cos I apparently pulled right accross his path. I return with some banter stating that this is a respectable neighbourhood and he wont find any hookers around here, I also counter that in my opinion, there was enough room for me to get accross.....Did you know that it is an offence to turn and walk away from a police officer whilst he is repremanding you? Well it is.

Anyway on a more serious note....After this brief tate a tate, I get in with the serious onslaught of munchies, so I stick some tinned beef stew on the go, and nip off for a tinkle (yes I did wash my hands). When I get back, I take the said stew out of the m/wave...just at the point when I look over it, a great big **** off potato explodes in my face resulting in hot potato magma weighing in at some million or so degrees slattering into my eyes.
I now look like I've been doing a groucho marks impression behind a road gritter.....And no Dazza, I wasnt looking through your sisters letterbox again, I wont make that mistake twice...she fights like a man for christ sakes!

Anyway, this got me thinking...Are there sinister forces at work here? Everytime I show my obvious and blatent lack of respect for the law, will I have a subsequent run in with a fine example of Sir Walters greatest import? Is this proportional.....Maybe if I'd have told mr plod to shove his panda up his ****, I would be blind this morning!!!

And another question you may be asking.....WHAT THE **** AM I TALKING ABOUT?

Good point, I'm sorry to have wasted your time...goodbye.

 

Billy

Good morning (or is it).

LOL

Serves you right for eating out of tins. Why don't you learn to cook instead of driving a turbocharged microwave.

PS - how exactly did you get your name......

 

HA HA HA HA SOOOOOOOO FUNNY !!!!!!

Cheers Billy needed a laugh this morning oh ye my sister says you fight like a small girl.

See ya soon Darren.

 

Billy

Maybe the police are sabotaging your spuds.

 

Cheers Dazza, I'm glad my pain and suffering generates such amusement for you....I really am.

Many years ago, and me driving a spanking Orion Ghia (I know). I was stopped by a rather dashing police officer in an unmarked summat or other.

Anyway, handsome, only starts shouting at me claiming that I firstly nearly t-boned him, before jumping a red light and nearly killing a motorcyclist!!

After fooking me over for a good 5 mins he finally says that he'll have my license off me unless.....get this....I say to him "I am a crap driver sir".

And on my way I go.

 

HA HA HA (LLOL) still laughing mate.

I am so glad your exploding tea makes me laugh as well.

Darren.

What are you having tonight ?????

 

LOL,

I wonder if I'm due for an accident soon then as my spuds have been close to exploding for years now..


Ah, you're talking about potatoes. Sorry, I'll get me coat then....

 

An incredibly funny story Billy... but...

SURELY you have something to add to the board that isn't derogatory towards the Police?

This is not the attitude we want displayed on ScoobyNet so I am moving this thread to the place it belongs!

Best regards

Simon

PS. Seriously Billy. Can you make this the last time?