I nearly had a fight in a cafe this morning.
 

Went out for brekkie as a treat and I asked the waiter bloke for tea with toast and marmalade.

He asked what kind of marmalade I wanted and I asked what kinds he had.

It was only when I had him by the throat that I realised he'd said "thick CUT" :D

:lol1:

:cuckoo:

Good grief, Swiss's job is safe :lol1:

Seriously though, i surprised myself the other day in London, was in "Dirty Dicks" (its a pub near Liverpool st station) and a drunk came up and said "Alright mate" and stuck his head into my chest in a friendly but way over familiar way, I was talking to a mate (wasnt drunk in the slightest) I hadn't seen in ages and the intrusion was unwelcome so I just said "Eyup Mate" and pushed him very gently away after a few seconds of cuddle and he said "Ave you got a problem" in a Cocke-er-nee accent so I prepared a "Strike" of the short but to the point type but my mate Tony (older/Wiser) went MARK.....NO (like I am a naughty Dog) and stopped me punching the cnut on the nose which I was grateful for.

After the event he said he new I was meaning to go for it as my left hand came up, I am right handed but prefer the element of surprise, I surprised myself, I don't consider myself aggressive but without much provocation I was ready to go to fists without entering into much of a dialog, I think over the years I have realised that if I am being pushed to react straight away as the outcome is always the same, being 38 and not overly fit didn't enter into it as my assailtant I had weighed up as being toast on the first slap.

Glad Tony stopped me as a night in the Met Hilton or Local A and E depending on how it went was not an option, and thats not me, honest.

J4CKO, why do your attempts at a serious post still crack me up :lol1:
Sorry :o

I agree, I was waiting for the punchline of Jacko' s story :Suspiciou


To Hank......:lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1:

Yes, and me, I know what you mean, its out of character, one minute its J4CKO the clown and the next its a middle aged overweight Ninja !

Is this a variation on the "Do you want decking?" story? :D