there was this newly married chinese couple
 

A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be told,
he is not too experienced either. On their wedding night, she cowers
naked under the sheets as her husband undresses He climbs in next to her
and tries to be reassuring.
"My darring" he says, "I know dis yoo firss time and you berry
fwighten. I pwamis yoo, I gib yoo anyting you wan, I do anyting - juss ask...Anyting yoo wan. Whatchoo wan?" he says, trying to sound experienced ,which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly)for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I wan try someping I have hear about... Numbaa 69."

More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries...

"Yoo wan... Chicken wiff Broccori '' ?

:lol:

:eek:
Err
:nono:
Oh Ok
:lol1:

That was a bit poor :eek:

I still laughed tho:lol1:

fwucking awwful :D

yes it is crap in a funny way , made me chuckle anyway so thought I'd spread the gospel :D

LMAO :lol:

PITA I thought, spent all that time concentrating trying to read the gobbldy gook and get a cr@p punch line at the end :(

it's poor show that i'm more disappointed than offended lol ;)

Davegtttt , sorry you had to try and concentrate , is this better :D

A Loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Asda in Romford with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Asda
Nice children you've got there -- are they twins?"
The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl:"Of course they bloody aren't! The oldest, he's 9 and the younger one,she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you think they look alike, ya dickead?"
"Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone would sh@g you twice!"

At least that one is funny(ish).

If not a little old ;):D

I stopped reading that one half way through, would you actually believe I got that via text today and that wasnt the first time Ive heard it either ;)

absolute rubbish , i'm peed off i wasted time reading it !! stick to your day job not your hand job !!

What do you call a man with a hotel on his head ?












Norman Tebbit.

Try it the other way around. Go into a Chinese restaurant and ask for a number 45. 53 and a "can I fwuck your wifey" and see if waiter laughs :D

tried that last night and got a karate chop round the back of my neck , cheers mate :freak3: