So far I've used

ear infection (genuine):(
chest infection (had a bad cough anyway):rolleyes:
upset stomach (twice):p
daughter broke arm - needed caring for (genuine):eek:

Whats the best ones youve used, or whats the most outlandish that was actually true.

Weather is really nice, so need a few new ones.

LM

Strained ligaments/muscles in my feet whilst playing a round of golf, was off work for five days on doctor's orders, no walking allowed, had to crawl round my house on hands and feet, very graceful.

Well my m8 has said on a few occasions his nan has died, last time he used it was about a month ago, the ****e also had time off 4 the funeral, the downside is u can only use it a few times, or change ur job regularly as he does and u can keep on using it, he's got through at least 5 nans since ive known him!

violent diarrhea :D:D

I had 3 and half weeks off work due to Glandla fever (dunno how you spell it)......Got paid for it as well!! :)

Help a fried move over the week-end (make sure everyone at work knows this by the Friday). Ring up on Monday morning- "cant come in for the next few days boss. Done my back in moving heavy objects over the week-end"
Use this one at least twice a year and it works everytime.

http://www.stopstart.freeserve.co.uk/smilie/bat.gif

Got bit on the arse by a dog, and I cant sit down.


This was true, went in the next day and got sent home as I was kneeling on the floor coz I couldn't sit down :)

ROTFLMAO! :D :D :D

Krade - told you that you should be more selective about the women you take home! ;)

you sure you were bit by a dog, or was it one of your extra-curriculum rugby shower activities. LOL

BB:)

just to add, i usually use the dodgey guts excuse, and always phone in yourself, dont get your spouse/partner to do it.

my mate here rang in work once, claiming to be sick, and you could hear a west country station announcer on a PA in the background, saying something like "The next train to Cornwall, my luverlies, is on platform three!"

luckily, it was me on the phone to him, and i suggested he had a nice time....(holiday)
he's sinced moved to cornwall..... funny that, he was going to an interview LOL.

BB:)

ps: everyone should have a couple of sickies per year

Stupid cow told her I didnt want a drink :(

Nah it was a real dog, just walked past him and bang sunk his teeth in my rump.

Two things its easy to swing are bad nerves or depression, and a bad back.
When I was pee'd off with work last year I had 8 weeks off with a dislocated sacroiliac. I did have the injury years before so I knew the symptoms. I had my doctor running in circles and issuing sick note willie nillie. I have about 1000 hard core pain killers in my bedroom cupboard if anyone is in need :D:D

In 10 years' employment I've only ever had 4 days sick leave. 2 were for a bout of food poisoning, the other 2 were to have a broken collarbone checked.

Makes me wonder why companies offer no insentive for not having days off sick :confused: I bet a nice yearly bonus would create a much healthier workforce ;)

[Edited by GU5 - 20/06/2003 12:51:46]

Similar to Mark. In 16 years i've had i think 5 days total.

Personally i enjoy my job, so never feel the need to pull sickies, added to the fact that i can't make money sat at home or whatever!

My last excuse was cantbearseditis :D but i dont get paid for sickies:(

I think Avi's the man for this thread ;)

LOL. Whilst I've always enjoyed my job, my reasons for not taking sick leave are far less honourable. Basically, being a contractor, you don't get paid your hourly rate when you're at home nursing a cold. Since days off are unpaid, it seems a shame to waste them being ill - so I only ever take time off when I'm healthy. ;)

isn't that sha99ing dead people???


PS heres scoobydiva at work LOL
http://www.kwnn.net/issue2/prostitute.jpg



[Edited by beemerboy - 20/06/2003 13:09:52]

Not unless it was in his nec(k) BB..!! :D

What i would say though, is that i'd never go to work if i was *really* suffering. Touch wood, i've always been successful at shaking off on-coming colds, so they rarely trouble me. But going to work and spreading germs is a no-no; i hate it when people come in when they know they shouldn't.

no one will beat this. Had a call from one of the guys who wait for it,,,,shagged his bird only to find his f/s won't retract back and had to have an emergency circumcision

he's not in today obviously

Funnily enough, I had to take 3 days off work coz I got bad sunburn on my ears (of all places) - I kid you not.

I ended up with lots of fluid in them and look like I had huge cauliflower ears for a few days. Had to wear a bandage over my head with some antisceptic cream smeared all over them.

Felt like a right tw@t.

Stefan

i shouldn't laugh Ozzy, but i am right now at the thought of that....

CC...you were needed on the Womens bits.. thread in Muppets, where were you????

:)

I've been snowed under today and yesterday as been having to get stuck into the work that the guy with the tight foreskin should have been doing

He was in a bad way so all sins forgiven and all that

LMAO - got to be the best one so far.

Come on Mega.. you know u itchin to type:D:D:D

Just noticed this thread..

Moi :confused:;);)

One of my former colleagues had a guy phone in saying his mother had been taken ill, which would have been a perfectly valid excuse, had he not previously taken genuine leave for his mothers funeral some 5 years earlier, doh!

My girlfriend was phoning around staff of the coffee shop she supervises, trying to get someone to cover for someone that had sprained their ankle. Upon phoning the one lad, she was told that he was off for a meal as it was his dad's birthday.

His dad must be royalty, as he had a birthday and birthday meal in April too :D

Andy

as an additional thought, who else actually feels guilty when they are genuinely off sick? Like others on this thread, I have taken maybe 5 days off sick in the last 7 years, yet when I am genuinely ill I feel guilty about not going in. Last time I was projectiling out of both ends and had a fever in the hundreds, yet about an hour after making the call found myself thinking "perhaps I'm not that bad afterall"...

then there are the other people that take their full "sickness allowance" every year as they believe it is the same as holiday entitlement! :rolleyes: