No use to run if you are on the wrong road.

Always turn your back to the wind when your having a piss. ;)

never say never and never say always.

from my mum
if you can't feed em don't breed em
and on a gravestone local to me
where ever you be let your wind fly free for holding it in was the death of me

After getting chucked out of a nightclub many years ago I had to share a bus stop with a tramp. He told me to stay away from anything with a pair of tits or an engine or I would end up like him.

When I was in my late teens, a wise old man told me; "Never pass up the chance of a shag or BJ, no matter how ugly she is, as it might be the best you'll ever have".

Oh, how wrong could he be.

No matter how smart/big/succesful you are, theres always someone more so round the corner

Had quite a few said to me over the yrs.

If you want to know what your GF/Wife will look like whe she is older,look at the mother. ;)

Fail to prepare,prepare to Fail

Look at what a person actually does,and not just what they say they will do.This one has been quite true over the yrs,Never took much notice of it until the day i left school and was Released into the World.:razz:

Everytime I hear this I think it is actually not a bad philosophy for life.

Steve

I like that one. It's one of those things where when its laid out infront of you, you get that "oh yeah" moment.

The best one i've had that i can remember is never befriend someone who isn't in a place/position that you want to me in.

And it's actually done me good too!

If you cant be good be careful , if you cant be careful be ...

lifes a bitch then you marry one

Never trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die!

Be careful how you treat people on the way up, because you'll meet them all on the way back down again. :)

Sniff before you lick..

In a fight grab the ears.. they come off easy and dogs love em....

Always spray on her face!

Oi fatty - DUCK!

You,ll never be rich working for someone else!! How fookin true that is!!

A freind of my dads said this to me when i took him for a spin in the scoob the day i got it" try getting to know her before raping her" i was giving it the beans at the time and he was ****tin himself!! Lol 7 years on and never had an accident in her!! Lol

I'm probably gonna need about 2 ton of tumbleweed to break your fall then..:D

Don't **** where you eat.

Chop

Flatterer! :p :lol1:

Who dares Wins

Best piece of advice I could give at present, is to anyone doing the Great North Run tomorrow;

Get a fecking wiggle on!!

:)

If you want to get your own back, piss in the wind ;)

More like p1ss in a beer can,and give it to a drunken mate.This i have actually done.:lol1:

Prior planning and preperation prevents piss poor performance

two things my father taught me

treat others as you would like to be treated, and

nothing of any worth, comes without hard work

There's always someone bigger

Love alot Trust a few but Always paddle your own canoe

Your Worry of Looking Stupid Is Holding you back

Wrap it up before you slap it up :thumb:

My coach at school told me this: "Never get less than 12 hours sleep a night, never play cards with a man who has the same first name as a city, and never go with a lady who has a tattoo of a dagger on her body. If you follow those rules everything else will be just cream cheese."

I live by this every single day! :D

Asif