I was brought up in a violent relationship - well two to be honest. My mum suffered at the hands of my father and then the man she married after divorcing him. These kind of things have an effect on small children as I found out later.

When I was 16 my first girlfriend cheated on me and when she told me I punched her. Gave her a black eye.

I can still see the bruise growing on her face and I stood there in complete shock. She was crying obviously but I stood there and wept like a baby - the whole thing came crashing down on me and something inside clicked. She wanted to make excuses for me, but I wouldn't let her. I told her family and her brothers, her flaming huge brothers and fully expected a beating. (didn't get it)

Now I physically cannot hit a woman it's not just that I don't want to. I physically can't. I was pushed to the absolute edge one time a couple of years later (now at Uni) by a girl right in my face screaming abuse at me (undeserved) and I wanted to... Oh I really wanted to. Instead I rushed into the toilet next door and punched the wall. Lots. I still have the broken knuckle now. I left lots of dents in the wall that night but I **could not** lay a hand on this girl.

Right or wrong to hit a woman? We're meant to be equal but we're not, we're just different; but any person hitting someone smaller and weaker than them is a coward or has something wrong with them. At the time I did. I don't any more.

Think of it this way: is it really any different to lay into a 5' tall 7 stone bloke when you're a hefty 6' tall 15 stone one than it is to lay into a similarly sized woman? More or less right? Or both just very wrong?

Alcohol indulgence has a lot to answer for violence, lack of respect and general dysfunction in the society.

My friend's (white British) son (he has black father) was shoeheeled by a slag outside our local-ish nightclub for absolutely nothing, calling him racist names as well. She was pished as a pig. he never hit her back, intead he came back home with a great big bump on his head. He is 6'4" footballer, wears size 13 shoes, looks like Vin Diesel. He could have crushed her with his little finger TBH. But he remained a gentleman throughout the process :cool:

I have seen girls (and boys, of course) fighting all over the frikkin' shop under the effect. Bleddy chavs :mad:

I would never condone violence of any kind, but there are lot of women physically & mentally abusing men, which goes un-reported.

I've had to restrain an ex after she went mental on me, no provocation either, just booze. if i hadn't then I suspect i would have come off quite badly & she would have claimed to have been the victim... :rolleyes:

You did well enough to defend yourself, why would there be the need to hit her, if anything you could have used your strength to bat her away or something I don't know - that's self defence Paul...and I don't just mean feeling hard done by after being slapped around the face...but she was coming at you with a weapon....

:sleep:

The debate is wrong because men are coming on here trying to justify hitting a woman...are you condoning that? The ladette culture usually fight amongst themselves...on the odd occasion they do start on men and I don't agree with that either!

Oh sorry, I forgot you knew me :rolleyes: I wouldn't "lay" into a bloke the same way I wouldn't expect him to lay into me...there is no excuse for a man to hit a women though, its cowardice, blatantly using their advantage in strength to bully someone and exert power...does it make these men feel big, those of them who hit women? What else can they get from it...either way, its sick...and yes it works both ways I'm not stupid I know women can be vicious too!

Domestic violence disgusts me. Be it man hitting woman or woman hitting man. It's all about control and no one has the right to control anyone.

I don't agree with the bollox of someone deserving it either. I have had some hum dinger rows with him indoors, yet neither of us has ever, ever felt the need to hit at each other.

Drink related or off your head on some drugs, are you really responsible for what you are doing. I doubt you could even remember and if you did, the shame would hit most folks, hard.

The idea of a register of violent men is a load of nosy tosh, as usual. The same would need to be applied to violent women. But would it?

As for the original question, I don't agree with violence in any sense, by anyone, to anyone :thumb:

Whilst i dont condone hitting women,


growing up in a houshold of all sisters, you learnt to give as good as you got, or be trampled over ;)


Mart

I am totally against it, the only way I would every retailaite is if I was in danger myself, if I could control the situation then never but if I was taking a beating off a load of Chavettes for some reason then I will use as much force as I need to get away, it does not follow that all men are stronger or more violent than all women, men can be victims as well.

Apparently there is a lot of domestic violence in the Lesbian community, hows that work, do they decide who is the bloke ?

I do abhor the sad little male creature (they arent men) who hit their wives.

I see where your coming from. Its terrible that some women go home at night an get beaten for no reason its mental.

Just before my mum n dad divorced he was slapping her about. Me an my brother knew this as we seen it on occastion even tho she put on a brave face an made out nothing happend......

Not good at all.

My reply from before isnt an excuse but its out of what this thread is about of course there is situations where people would snap(like me on the cheating side of things)

But hitting a women properly for no reason is sickning.

Im sure women thump men just as much as men thump women

A non violent household works both ways IMO, if a woman however decides that domestic violence is OK by assaulting the guy then she deserves as good as she gives.

This is not in any way, shape or from condoning abuse of any kind though, very different to a one off Barny.

Oh dear,
You might do well to chill a bit, jump down from your high horse and then re read my posts, i hardly condone it.
I point out some of the reasons i believe are behind it and its increase.

I've got into fights with women before, trust me they can pack as much of a punch and kick as alot of men, ok thats in the martial arts ring though lol

other than sport (in the ring) or self defnce no reason for a man to hit a man or a woman or woman to hit a man or another woman

Listen

If I see a women running at me all crazy like, dripping in the blood of the bloke she’s just been eating, in a dark and deserted urban environment

Then I reserve the right to take a fvcking chain saw to her

Sorry buts that's just the way it is gggrrrrrrrr

Good for you :thumb:

With rappers these days singing about, beating and raping women, it's hardly surprising that the morons that listen to them will follow suit.

You would need to be a proper dumb **** to do something like that.

Thats like watching spiderman climb a building shooting webs from his hands an trying the same.

But i agree some people are that stupid they listen to lyrics of songs an "believe" in them

Thats just excuses people use to shift the blame.

I hit a women because i could do it in Grand Theft Auto
I hit a women because of a some Lyrics Snoop Dogg wrote

Your not trying to say that spiderman isn't real are you:wonder::D

I feel bad having to break it to you online:cry:

i once listened to stan by eminem and tied wife up and put her in back of car............................................... ....... god i miss her :D

Why does it go un-reported?? Crime should be reported, and perpetrator should face punishment. It shouldn't matter what sex one is. Men need not suffer in silence either.

This thread asks whether its alright for men to hit women. That is why main focus on this thread is on that issue. Another reason is that violence from men on women is more common that it is from women on men.

I have heard of some men suffering in silence, thinking that they won't be heard. Woman will always be taken as victim. Not necessarily. Please do report! if you feel embarrassed about reporting it (some said they did), then as well don't stay in a relationship that can cause an embarrassment like that. No man should have any reason to be someone's punchbag. Retaliation can end up with physically weaker person getting seriously damaged. That's why, you can at least walk away, leaving a big, well-deserved hole in your partner's life. They can take their insecurities, tantrums and powertrips out on a pillow or a cushion. If you have children, take them along with you as well, and get away from a psycho partner. There is no law against breaking a relationship with an abusive female or male partner.

Telling you music makes people do crazy things

I was playing Call of duty early..... Afterwards i shot 4 passers by from an elevated position.. Boooooooom headshot

You must have known that making such a blanket and closed statement as you did would elicit a strong response. You basically implied there are no circumstances where it's acceptable and that is clearly wrong. I mean, say you are out and some crazy drugged up women starting laying into you teenage daughter inflicting serious bodily harm...would you not expect your husband/partner to intervene?

This is true of any bully, male or female. However, IME there are women that will be vicious and violent and hide behind the fact that they are unlikely to be hit back. That's the most cowardly thing possible IMHO. I'd also point out that as a guy I'd never be stupid enough to pick a fight with someone clearly larger and more capable than myself and if I did then I'd expect to probably get decked. Women therefore should not start on a physically stronger and more capable male. Common sense really.

So do you accept that there are conditions where its acceptable to hit a woman or not ?
Of not then you are clearly deluded.

In an ideal world, nobody would feel the need to use violence against anyone, but we don't live in an ideal world.

People seem to get to a point where anger takes over so much, that violence becomes the answer, either to gain control, to put their point across, to express themselves or seemingly for no reason at all. No matter who this is aimed at, we as a society need to do more to tackle violence, and the increasing need of some to use it so readily.

In terms of men hitting women, I hate to say it, and I do disagree with acting out with the fists, to some extent it does depend on the circumstances. Domestic violence is one thing, and obviously is wrong no matter who is the victim or attacker. However, if we are looking beyond that, there will be circumstances a man may have to defend himself, without fear of being in the wrong just because of his sex. Women often want to be equal (as they should), but if that means they will then attack a man without cause, in the same way blokes get into fights, then they should be prepared for what may come.

Tbh, women can't call the sex card when they attack first in all instances, as they have accepted violence is fine by their own actions. It is not fair either to always say women are more vulnerable in a physical sense, as they aren't always.

Ultimately it all comes down to the exact circumstances, and domestic violence is a very separate issue to just simply saying whether one thinks it is acceptable to hit a woman. Domestic violence cuts both ways, and is very different to a fight with someone randomly, imo.

There is no excuse to hit anyone. Where does it get you, nowhere. Some sickos,, who enjoy beating up on people would disagree, but hey, that is their problem. :thumb:

I disagree.

There are some vicious women out there. Some of whom (and I am not embarrased to say this) are probably stonger / harder (whatever) than I am.

If some lowlife scum attacked me - I'd defend myself - as far as I am concerned it makes no difference what genetic code they were born with XX or XY - Hit me and you'll get some back.

(this only applies if I was really under threat - not if it was one of those flailing arm slappy doggy paddle type of things that can be diverted with a neck dodge and a giggle)

Don't forget about that "Model" who just got sent down for a couple of years for ramming a wine glass into a male PhD students face!!!

If he'd smacked her one - he'd still have his face in one piece (although probably jailed for a long time, lost career path etc)

Sorry but there are a million examples of situations where violence is the only answer. With regards to women some rationality needs to be used. I was punched in the face by some old slapper in the pub a few weeks ago, it never occured to me to hit her back as she was small weak and not in any way a threat so I laughed and laughed even more when I saw the cut on her hand that she got for doing it but had she been some big butch nutter woman and launched a sustained attack she would have got knocked out and deservedly so IMO.

Sorry, you're quite wrong. Every situation is different and to come up with such a statement is quite puzzling.

Hand on heart, I can honestly say, I have never, ever seen a woman hit a bloke. I have seen some mates in a bad way, thanks to the other half getting tanked up and being the big fella. Their loss, oh yes, the kids and everything.
I personally have had no experience of a violent relationship and admit to only seeing it my way.
If this thread is about some sackless bitch, getting tight and mouthing off, or some bloke doing the same, fair enough, who am I to comment. But in a relationship there is no place for control via violence :nono: