I was awoken about 30 mins ago buy Nat thrusting her ice-pack covered face into mine, whimpering "look what Isaac has done!". When I had rubbed the crust from my eyes and swivelled myself through 180 in my pit, I did indeed see an impressive shiner on her left eye socket. Enough to slyly congratulate my near 3 year old on what appears to have been an excellent shot.

In seriousness, she's ok, he's ok and I'm tired after a late night. Apparently when in a bad mood he jumped up and caught her (by accident).

So it got me wondering if any other parents on here had sustained any child related injuries? Funny, serious, 1 in-a-million chance etc.

Andy

 

Years ago my bro jumped on my dad, knees first like a crazy cage fighter.Broke (or cracked) a rib ! Put him out of action for a while !

 

No, officer. It really was my three years old. I've not been beating my wife, honestly!

You know how it's going to look

 

Next door neighbour was sat watching telly when his 4 year old sneaked behind the sofa and popped up and tapped his old man on the head. Dad then put his arm over the sofa and lifted little Paul out from behind not knowing he had bitten into the sofa as he was lifting him the result being his two front teeth pulled out. Off to the hospital they went where Paul was treated but dad was questioned by officials as to whether there was anything malicious involved which there obviously wasn't.

A week later outside the front door dad was telling me how angry he was at basically being accused of hitting his own son when along comes little Paul and trips up whilst
attempting to run into the hall via the front door. On tripping he whacked his head on the BT box mounted just inside the door and ripped a nice 2" gash down the side of his face once again requiring treatment in hospital along with a police investigation as he was reported to them by someone in A & E.

 

I should now do the following;

1. Punch the other eye so it looks like she wearing makeup.
2. Take the bandage off my fist
3. Run like f@ck

 

I felt awful the other day as I was sat with my feet up, Isaac running around (we gave him a couple Fruit Pastiles) and he tripped over one of my feet. No injuries apart from a scraped knee but christ I felt horrible for about 20 minutes afterwards.

 

When my son was about one I was lying on the bed playing with him and he poked me in the eye with his very fine razor sharp little fingernails, put a 5mm gash on my eyeball, hurt like ******* hell, had to keep both eyes shut because they move in tandem it was rubbing as I looked around with the other eye, so was streaming eyes off to the eye hospital, never felt such relief as when they put the numbing drops in my eye so they could look at it.

3yrs to heal fully, nothing like waking up in the morning with your eyeball stuck to your eyelid and ripping it all over again.

Wonderful experience.

 

Luckily nothing more than the usual Nut shots here and there

 

Swimming in deep water, close to a minor whirlpool, my eldest, aged 9, threw a sizeable rock at me to splash me...and hit me on the side of the head, knocking me unconscious or a few seconds. Luckily my mate Jean-Pierre pulled me up by my hair.

Son was nowhere to be found for the next three hours....

 

Andy, call the police and say your neighbours did it

 

I haven't had any experience of my children intentionally or unintentionally physically hurting me when they were little. It's another matter that when they started to grow up more and more, they began to cause me some emotional injuries like fright and heartaches etc.by having late nights in clubs, getting drunk in parities and then lurching all over/being sick etc.

my daughter dropped a heavy glass paper weight on her bro's head when she was over 1, and he was 6. She did mean it as well. She always bullied him, and he was very tolerant. They're now brilliant with each other, to be fair.

My cats, on the other hand, have given me plenty of physical scratches, but I will never swap them for the world!

Some Pre- and Primary children hurt their parents physically just to get their parents' attention.

 

Had some cracking nut shots from both my kids, including one whilst I was washing the car. Asked my 4 year old to hold the jet wash whilst I used the brush, as I passed it over he squeezed the trigger resulting in a very powerful jet of water hitting the floor and throwing the end of the "stick" square into my ***** .. queue me trying to pretend it hadn't happened with people watching whilst heaving ..

 

That was going to be my next suggestion.

 

Just an anecdote insert in reverse that my older with his cousin once let open a Helium gas cylinder in the barn to change their voice to squeaky one. My son was 10, and that cousin of his was 7. It was his naughty cousin's idea, really. Anyway, they both had to endure indirect physical torture, ordered by Mr. T. the dad. They were told to sprint across the farm as fast as they could, come back and do it again and again until they fell on the floor . Poor kids. One of the unforgettable incidents.

Anyway, back to kids harming their parents.

 

We had two close calls when kids were small.

My lad, under 2 then, crawled out of his cot, over to the window and outside onto the narrow window ledge. We saw him sitting on the ledge swinging his legs 10ft above the concrete patio below.

When my boy was bit older I took him with me when I went to buy a 10 ft length of 4" plastic drain pipe. He was in the front seat and I had a Jag' at the time and just put the pipe resting on the back seat and sticking out of the sun roof. Fine until I drove through a wooded section of road and an overhanging branch caught the end of the pipe sticking out of the car which caused it to bring the pipe round where it swung at about 50 mph just over our heads in the front. Could have killed my boy and killed me or knocked me out with the car ending up in the trees. Very, very odd circumstances, I still wake up with that scenario in my mind.

dl

 

I'm not surprised.

I knew a lad who nicked a christmas tree when he was a sudent. It looked smaller on the plantation.....

Anyway, it wouldn't go in his car so the end stuck quite a long way out on the passenger side...and he promptly swept an old boy off his bike into a ditch with it.

Cost him and his mates more in beer money to keep the old lad quiet than it would have to BUY a tree........LOL

 

My girl did that at around that age. God, it was scary! I've had many parents reporting the same incidence around that age of their child. I think toddlers in this country are obsessed with windows. I hear that this obsession goes on during the teenage as well, as that's the place where they escape from; to meet their little girlfriend or boyfriend in the middle of the night. I blame Rapunzel videos.

 

Escape? Hmmmm, yes.

My eldest at about 11, having been sent to his bedroom for some offence, JUMPED from our landing window, the opening part of which is only 30" x 20", landing 12 feel below in the sunken part of the garden.

He wasn't seen again until some four hours later.......

 

See what I mean?

Door-child relationship is another one, but that's a world-wide issue. I've seen loads of people all over the world with at least one manky nail on a slightly bent finger that they once trapped in some door, somewhere.

 

Does the damage to my liver through drinking due to naughty kids count?

 

Hahaha! What an excuse to get drunk!

 

Hey, if you were related to the Ferals then you would do the same!

 

 

Loads of them here - 3.5 year old twins.

My son when he was younger loved to be picked up and thrown (without letting go obviously) into the air. Pulled muscles at the bottom of my back doing this as he got heavier.

He and I would pretend fight and wrestle on the floor. I dont mind how hard he hits me, because when I tell him "thats enough" he knows the game is over and I like to let him win most of the time. He didn't understand that his twin sister and mum are off limits when it comes to fighting. He chinned my wife as she lifted him out of the bath, and then did the same to his sister.

My wife always gets out fof bed before I do to get the kids up, if I am still in bed, my wife sends my kids in to climb onto the bed and jump on me, after being called out to work on a Saturday night, my wife didn't wake me but didn't tell Ruby not to wake me. She managed to climb onto the bed before dropping her full weight on my stomach. As a reaction I jolted forwards and turned to my right, knocking my little daughter flying off the bed.

As a wearer of specs, both my kids when they were younger had a tendancy to grab my glasses, I have had many little fingers poked into my eyes.

 

Only when it's your own kids

 

Sorry but that made me chuckle

 

Noticing a pattern here .. maybe if you throw a rock at him through a window he'll disappear for the day ?

 

LOL, he's 27 now and has already "disappeared" off to Holland for a year to work, now off the Loughborough to do engineering.

 

Also remember when we bought a pine bunk bed and my daughter was lying in bottom bed and pushed her feet up underneath the top bunk. The top section, which was quite heavy, was then lifted from the posts on which it was fitted and the whole lot came crashing down on my girl.

I gave the local manufacturers grief on the phone and the design of the beds was changed

dl

 

My brother was play fighting with my 9 year old this Christmas just gone and it was getting a bit lary when I told my bro to calm it down "there fine stop moaning" he said seconds before my lad picked up the singing snowman and smacked him straight in the jaw a full pelt with the battery pack! 4 X aa I may add! The fun stopped rather abruptly!