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Old 31 August 2012, 04:31 PM
  #1  
Mouser
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Smile A few jokes..........

The human body has 7 trillion nerves.

My wife manages to get on every bloody one of them!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Knock knock.

Who's there?

"Doorbell repair man"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A bloke is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells, "Don't enter that church, you daft b----r !!!"

His wife asks him, "What are you watching?"

Husband replies, "Our bloody wedding video"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, "How dare you call me a slapper. Get out of my bed right now and take your mates with you!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I was getting chatted up by a bird last night.

She said, "Have you got a nickname?"

"Yes" I said, "They call me Sledge"

"OH... Is that because you a sleek and fast?" she giggled

"No...... It's because I get pulled by dogs!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just seen a Dyslexic Yorkshireman wearing a cat flap!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper"

"Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"

That spider never knew what f*****g hit it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The 200 Polish fans arrested after yesterday's game have been found guilty of violent disorder and been deported back to England .

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A big row has broken out in the Irish Olympic Synchronised Diving Team after Paddy accused Mick of copying him.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Old 01 September 2012, 09:16 AM
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Old 01 September 2012, 11:31 AM
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Some good ones there.
Old 01 September 2012, 11:35 AM
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Like the wife ones, daren't tell her them though
Old 01 September 2012, 12:30 PM
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three ghosts sitting around a camp fire tellin chuck norris stories !
Old 01 September 2012, 12:34 PM
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the irish one gets me everytime i read it !!!!!
Old 03 September 2012, 12:34 PM
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They are all good, and I like the one about the cat flap!

Les

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Old 03 September 2012, 07:15 PM
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dirtybarry
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Originally Posted by Mouser
The human body has 7 trillion nerves.

My wife manages to get on every bloody one of them!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Knock knock.

Who's there?

"Doorbell repair man"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A bloke is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells, "Don't enter that church, you daft b----r !!!"

His wife asks him, "What are you watching?"

Husband replies, "Our bloody wedding video"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, "How dare you call me a slapper. Get out of my bed right now and take your mates with you!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I was getting chatted up by a bird last night.

She said, "Have you got a nickname?"

"Yes" I said, "They call me Sledge"

"OH... Is that because you a sleek and fast?" she giggled

"No...... It's because I get pulled by dogs!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just seen a Dyslexic Yorkshireman wearing a cat flap!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper"

"Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"

That spider never knew what f*****g hit it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The 200 Polish fans arrested after yesterday's game have been found guilty of violent disorder and been deported back to England .

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A big row has broken out in the Irish Olympic Synchronised Diving Team after Paddy accused Mick of copying him.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

your not keith lemon are you ??
Old 03 September 2012, 09:00 PM
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Mouser
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Originally Posted by dirtybarry
your not keith lemon are you ??
Are you Barry Chuckle?
Old 03 September 2012, 09:24 PM
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dirtybarry
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Originally Posted by Mouser
Are you Barry Chuckle?

no iam frankie boyle
Old 03 September 2012, 09:31 PM
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RobsyUK
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I do like the wedding one
Old 03 September 2012, 10:02 PM
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Mouser
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Originally Posted by dirtybarry
no iam frankie boyle
Why aren't you dirtyfrankie then?
Old 03 September 2012, 10:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Mouser
Why aren't you dirtyfrankie then?

Iam not dirtybarry either that's not my name
Old 03 September 2012, 10:38 PM
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Originally Posted by dirtybarry
Iam not dirtybarry either that's not my name




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