A few jokes..........
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,345
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A few jokes..........
The human body has 7 trillion nerves.
My wife manages to get on every bloody one of them!
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
"Doorbell repair man"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A bloke is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells, "Don't enter that church, you daft b----r !!!"
His wife asks him, "What are you watching?"
Husband replies, "Our bloody wedding video"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, "How dare you call me a slapper. Get out of my bed right now and take your mates with you!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was getting chatted up by a bird last night.
She said, "Have you got a nickname?"
"Yes" I said, "They call me Sledge"
"OH... Is that because you a sleek and fast?" she giggled
"No...... It's because I get pulled by dogs!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just seen a Dyslexic Yorkshireman wearing a cat flap!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper"
"Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"
That spider never knew what f*****g hit it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The 200 Polish fans arrested after yesterday's game have been found guilty of violent disorder and been deported back to England .
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A big row has broken out in the Irish Olympic Synchronised Diving Team after Paddy accused Mick of copying him.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife manages to get on every bloody one of them!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Knock knock.
Who's there?
"Doorbell repair man"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A bloke is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells, "Don't enter that church, you daft b----r !!!"
His wife asks him, "What are you watching?"
Husband replies, "Our bloody wedding video"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, "How dare you call me a slapper. Get out of my bed right now and take your mates with you!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was getting chatted up by a bird last night.
She said, "Have you got a nickname?"
"Yes" I said, "They call me Sledge"
"OH... Is that because you a sleek and fast?" she giggled
"No...... It's because I get pulled by dogs!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just seen a Dyslexic Yorkshireman wearing a cat flap!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper"
"Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"
That spider never knew what f*****g hit it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The 200 Polish fans arrested after yesterday's game have been found guilty of violent disorder and been deported back to England .
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A big row has broken out in the Irish Olympic Synchronised Diving Team after Paddy accused Mick of copying him.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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From: wilts
The human body has 7 trillion nerves.
My wife manages to get on every bloody one of them!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Knock knock.
Who's there?
"Doorbell repair man"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A bloke is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells, "Don't enter that church, you daft b----r !!!"
His wife asks him, "What are you watching?"
Husband replies, "Our bloody wedding video"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, "How dare you call me a slapper. Get out of my bed right now and take your mates with you!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was getting chatted up by a bird last night.
She said, "Have you got a nickname?"
"Yes" I said, "They call me Sledge"
"OH... Is that because you a sleek and fast?" she giggled
"No...... It's because I get pulled by dogs!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just seen a Dyslexic Yorkshireman wearing a cat flap!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper"
"Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"
That spider never knew what f*****g hit it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The 200 Polish fans arrested after yesterday's game have been found guilty of violent disorder and been deported back to England .
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A big row has broken out in the Irish Olympic Synchronised Diving Team after Paddy accused Mick of copying him.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife manages to get on every bloody one of them!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Knock knock.
Who's there?
"Doorbell repair man"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A bloke is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells, "Don't enter that church, you daft b----r !!!"
His wife asks him, "What are you watching?"
Husband replies, "Our bloody wedding video"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, "How dare you call me a slapper. Get out of my bed right now and take your mates with you!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was getting chatted up by a bird last night.
She said, "Have you got a nickname?"
"Yes" I said, "They call me Sledge"
"OH... Is that because you a sleek and fast?" she giggled
"No...... It's because I get pulled by dogs!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just seen a Dyslexic Yorkshireman wearing a cat flap!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper"
"Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"
That spider never knew what f*****g hit it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The 200 Polish fans arrested after yesterday's game have been found guilty of violent disorder and been deported back to England .
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A big row has broken out in the Irish Olympic Synchronised Diving Team after Paddy accused Mick of copying him.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
your not keith lemon are you ??
