J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Jesus, why is it if you having a passing interest in computers that people think mentioning their issues to you obviates them from sorting it out themselves ?

"I have a problem with my computer"

Translates as "You are now duty bound to sort my computer out"

I put all new network stuff in for my in laws, router, repeater, powerline adaptors which took three hours of my Sunday, dont mind but then I got a call later saying its asking for a disk, I took it out and I cant do anything, I advised "turning it off and on again" as basically he had removed a disk and the PDF viewer was asking for it, obviously I can see the screen from ten miles away, three hours later he calls to say "Nothing is working now" which is obviously because I touched it so I got in my car and drove round, turned it on and it worked perfectly !!!!

Mother in law gets an Ipad which was being a pain in the **** to get working with her shonky Wanadoo account, got it receiving but it wouldnt send, I said I would look into it further but after 90 mins I had to go, she seemed quite indignant, anyway we got an email "Sent from my Ipad" so obviously they will have got someone much cleverer than me to sort it out and I will have to listen to it, I will then buy a Blendtec and proceed round to render it to dust

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAl28d6tbko

My wife announced she wanted to print some photos, so obviously despite doing an ECDL printing one photo means I have to attend 5 times to put her straight "its not printing, it did last time", now I never print Photos but I just googled widows 7 print photos found the option and low and behold, SHALL I GOOGLE THAT FOR YOU ! then some other stuff about ink and god knows what.

I sorted out my brother in laws internet, three hours under his dusty, fingernail and spunk covered desk and tracing manky wire, fixed it and he didnt look up from the screen and said "thanks, bye" so enchanted was he to get his **** supply back.

Another mate, only rings me when he has computer issues or needs to ask me if he needs six cores or eight for doing some music and viewing ****.

What is it with people, I dont know it all, I have problems with my own kit but I TRY, I seek out the information, try stuff, people cant be arsed, its just lazy, the in laws drive me mental, I tell them how something works in non computer terms, 'Oh I havent got time for that" or "thats too complicated", no its not, it doesnt break down any further, if you want to use it, listen to me, shut up and learn, how can you not have time if you sit all day in front of the telly anyway ?

They seem to think I like it, after a hard days faffing with 300 database servers, listening to project managers telling customers half truths and stuff they have heard but dont understand I really want to learn the intrecacies of a seven year old OrangeHome router and try explaining wireless internet to a cretin, really I was asked the other day the difference between wired and wireless networking, I explained it and was told, "well I will leave all that complicated stuff to you"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25N-4zrk390

I dont remember all my own passwords so when I give you a piece of paper and tell you to keep it safe, dont look at me blankly when I ask for it, gong through 20 permutations each of the ten possible candidates for your password is not my idea of fun, ringing the call centre is not beneath you, you cant understand, neither can I either, and no, calling them "Wogs" loudly whilst I am on the call doesnt really help matters.

Learn how to clear your internet history and I dont find out stuff I never, ever need to know about you like when you last had a **** and your curiosity regarding transgender folk.

Dont drop your computer off, but if you must I dont need a 21 inch CRT, base unit, printer, cables, desk, mouse mat, 200 floppies, all the manuals etc, especially as I may just take it to the tip.

Dont think you are doing me a big favour, when you get a new computer of bestowing me a 512 mb ram Celeron POS with a 20 gb hd, I dont run a **** old computer museum, take it to the tip yourself. A printer, with no ink left, just what I always wanted.....

Neighbours, I dont care if your wireless doesnt work, saying hello when you can be arsed in the street does not guarantee you free IT support, dont be offended if I say no, if I asked you for free building work, free acountancy or free furniture you would quite rightly tell me to **** off, three hours work on my weekend, dont be offended if the bottle of wine you found in the garage, the one you didnt fancy doesnt make me explode with gratitude, three quid bottle of plonk versus three hours at what, lets say 50 an hour.

At least if you ask me to do something demonstrate a more involved diagnosis than Ask Mark its too complicated and looks like a right faff, its a faff for me also.

I dont know how every piece of hardware or mobile phone works either, if you bought it in 1998 it isnt my fault that there is no driver for it, I am not responsible for every product and its weak points, I will not be a scapegoat for Windows Vista.

Directories are not a complicated concept, use them.

I have not acheived the ability to time travel, if your hard disk f*cks up it isnt my fault and no I cant go back to back it up before it fails.

Dont gloat when you have new hardware, im not impressed but I can with a couple of mouse clicks make it run like a 4 meg Windows 3.1 installation and make it so no images appear on the screen in your browser, you want a 12 gig Oracle instance running in the background ?

You have a Mac, lovely, good for you, put it next to the Dualit Toaster, fancy coffee machine and all the other lifestyle accesories that look nice and get a proper computer if you need to do anything that involves the rest of the world.

jonc

Ah..so Jacko, I see you said you setup a network using powerline and routers and whatnot, I can't seem to get my laptop connected to my microwave downstairs in the kitchen and I heard you're a dab hand with computers, can you advise.....oh and what's a google...

fitzscoob

did you type this out at work or have you been here since 7pm typing?

also, its no joke when a mans magic **** machine (pc) breaks.

Jamz3k

Try telling someone you work in a TV & HiFi shop........

Jaybird-UK

You'll appreciate this then http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-reason...ter-hates-you/

f1_fan

iTrader: (9)

That's the best thing about being in web design,. Every man and his dog thinks they can do it better than you can so I let them get on with it

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Nah, im my garage on the Garage pc mounted to the wall

I type very quickly !

bootsy

i've built a few pc over the years and know a bit about them.i'm no expert but i'll use google or ask on forums.but i manage to get by.a friend of the wife down the road got in the habit of asking me to sort their pc out.as well as doing the welding on their car for the MOT.as they were skint i said i'll do it if she got her husband to service my boiler and sort out a few plumbing jobs for me he agreed.i sorted their car and pc out.he done **** all and stop answering his phone or door to methis was 4 years ago and they still ask me to sort their **** out.and i still tell them to **** off as i'll never help them again.i did hear that i cost him £300 because i wouldn't weld his van up for him

JackClark

"You have a Mac, lovely, good for you, put it next to the Dualit Toaster, fancy coffee machine and all the other lifestyle accesories that look nice and get a proper computer if you need to do anything that involves the rest of the world."

Oh the irony. I used to suffer as you do, now my only advice to friends and family is "get a Mac" and I'm no longer needed.

DJ_Jon

iTrader: (7)

I get the same ****, I no longer help people out unless, a. I like them & they have been nice to me in the past. b. I owe them a favour.

Even my own brother no longer gets my help, 4 times on the trot he has got his work PC infected due to pr0n surfing. Getting any free work done on my car is not worth asking for, so now I no longer offer PC support.

Even some of my colleagues, who are very good Oracle developers, do not know the first thing about sorting basic PC issues out... bonkers!

subaruturbo_18

I've never really thought about such subjects until reading this post. I get exactly the same. What a pain in the ****.

How do they think I know all I know about computers? I wasn't born with it I'm just not too scared/lazy to research problems I have.

I will gladly help my mates but then I know when I need some work done, my carpenter mate, painter brother or friends with other skills will help.

The worst was when I used to work in a phone shop. Selling somebody a dongle automatically ensures that they can bring their laptop in and let me instal it because they can't. Somebody once brought in their ****e laptop because the dongle wouldn't work, and when I found there was a problem with the laptop and not the dongle, I was handed HP's number to sort their computer out. Politely told them to leave

Have to say though after getting a MacBook it has improved ku computing experience. But mainly due to apple only software.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Can they set up email on Ipads, make old people understand computers and install network cables ?

I did put that bit in for you though

Simon C

What ya need is this, and I can relate to 99% of what you say, both out of the office and in.

f1_fan

iTrader: (9)

Oracle developers are actually a bit like Mac users... a bit dim!

JackClark

My old mother knows her Gmail address and password and could click the big Gmail icon. And what is this cables you speak of? Is it like one of those Disk things that people used to use.

JackClark

Don't you start.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

The house is fairly big, well its very long and thin, the router is at one end where the phone line comes in, also its stone walls so wireless doesn't penetrate very far, so power over ethernet was the best option, it links to an extender at the other end, gives fairly good coverage. Ethernet cables not really an option as I couldn't be arsed and it has stone floors.

Anyway, wireless is fine for some things, if you want some decent bandwidth, gig Ethernet is where its at.

I created the Mother in law a Gmail account and a domain, gave her the details, extolled the benefits but not, totally ignored it and keeps on using bloody Orange ! explanation is the people who have her email address will have to change, all 3 of them

JackClark

I take it you mean Powerline Ethernet, if so I love the stuff, probably beyond my old mother but all the stuff I've used is pretty much plug and go. Apple are rumoured to be building it into their next models, which is nice, surprised no one else has done it yet but I guess they're all busy catching up with the rest of the innovations or giving up and selling their hardware business.

Funkii Munkii

Classic J4CKO

You only have to help once with a family members PC and you've set yourself up for a lifetime of free work.

"Oh can you call the Call Centre they were getting a bit short with me and I couldn't understand what they were saying" FFS !!



Then again some of those Indian call centres have the odd wannabe guru who thinks he's above his customers.

f1_fan

iTrader: (9)

Just checking you were awake

jonc

Telling someone to "get a Mac" is a real cop-out. That's like telling someone to fvckoff and die. Is it any wonder none of your friends and family no longer "need" you and have actually disowned you!

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Never thought of it being integrated but it does make sense, very impressive stuff POE, I have gone mainly Ethernet now but my shed is connected via POE as its fast enough and its a long way down the garden for an Ethernet cable and the power line is there anyway.

Thought you would be camped outside the Apple store waiting for the Iphone 5 ?

jjones

sounds so familiar

you complete *******, i thought your name was Jacko

Ant

the best record i've had is from a old mate not seen him for about 2 years , texts me all friendly asking for a aerial to be done but didn't want to pay a lot. they make you ****.

I've told the wife and who ever asks what i do "work in a warehouse"

Fed up of "i'm having a few problems with my sky can you come round to have a look at it?"

No **** off

JackClark

On the contrary, they're all over the moon, most whince at the price initially, but afterward ask why I hadn't encouraged them to switch earlier. I have one awkward nephew who spits at the Apple logo when he see's it. He's a youngster like you so probably picked that habit up at school.

JackClark

I have a two year old 3GS, runs like a dream, hardly any Android phones out perform it and it's about to get better with iOS 5. Value for money.

POE is very different tech by the way.

subaruturbo_18

Whats POE?


Just thought i'd also add, just as i was walking home from work after posting in this thread, a girl i know, but haven't spoke to for a good few months text me earlier

Her: "hello stranger, how are you ? It's been a while what you been up to? I'm so angry right now"


Me: "Oh why are you angry?"


Her: "I hate computers"


Me: No reply

CREWJ

This always happens to me too -.-

ChefDude

just screw things up a few times and they'll soon stop asking

DJ_Jon

iTrader: (7)

That makes me angry, fecking wimmins.