Mufasa

McDonnel Douglass Registration Card


MCDONELL DOUGLASS
AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES

Important! Important!

Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop
new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other

First Name____________________Initial____Last Name_________________________

Latitude________________________Longitude_________ _________________________

Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc.__________________

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

_F-14 Tomcat _F-15 Eagle _F-16 Falcon _F-119A Stealth _Classified

3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________

4. Serial Number____________________

5. Please check where this product was purchased:

_Received as Gift/Aid Package
_Catalog Showroom
_Sleazy Arms Broker
_Mail Order
_Discount Store
_Government Surplus
_Hijacked it using one of our spies
_Classified

6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you
have just purchased:

_Heard loud noise, looked up
_Store Display
_Espionage
_Recommended by friend/relative/ally
_Political lobbying by Manufacturer
_Was attacked by one
_Was bombed by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

_Style/Appearance
_Kickback/Bribe
_Recommended by salesperson
_Speed/Maneuverability
_Comfort/Convenience
_McDonnell Douglas Reputation
_Advanced Weapons Systems
_Price/Value
_Back-Room Politics
_Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

_Latin America
_South America
_Aircraft Carrier
_Europe
_Middle East
_Africa
_Asia/Far East
_Misc. Third-World Countries
_Classified

9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase
in the near future:

Product Own Intend to purchase

ICBM
Killer Satellite
Air-to-Air Missiles
Space Shuttle
Nuclear Weapon
Hydrogen/Neutron Bomb
Light Sabre
X-Wing Fighter
Millenium Falcon
Imperial Star Destroyer
Death Star

10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all
that apply:

_Communist/Socialist
_Terrorist
_Islamic Fundamentalist
_Zionist
_Nazi
_Neutral
_Democratic
_Dictatorship
_Corrupt (Latin American)
_Corrupt (Other)
_Primitive/Tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

_Cash
_Suitcases of Cocaine
_Oil Revenues
_Deficit Spending
_Personal Check
_Credit Card
_Ransom Money
_Traveller's Check
_Swiss bank account transactions
_Counterfeit $100 bills

12. Occupation You Your Spouse

Revolutionary
Clerical
Mercenary
Tyrant
Corporate CEO
Dictator
Oil Billionaire
Drug Lord
Defense Minister/General
Retired
Student

13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate
the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating on a regular basis:

Activity/Interest You Your Spouse

Sabotage
Propaganda/Disinformation
Destabilizing/Overthrow
Bankruptcy
Industrial Espionage
Black Market/Smuggling
Interrogation/Torture
Crushing Rebellions
Military Reconnaissance
Border Disputes
Mutually Assured Destruction
Sex Trade
Golf

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to
receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments,
extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800
St. Louis, MO 55500

carl

But hang on -- F14 is Northrop Grumman and F16 is Lockheed Martin (originally General Dynamics)

SWRTWannabe

Still v funny though!!

JayDee

We've still got some of their computers!

JD