Jonnys3

Does anyone have any knowledge regarding divorce proceedings and legalities? My brother-in-law is in a bit of a mess at the moment and doesn't know where to turn for help or what to do.

The background to all this:

The brother-in-law's wife has an affair (for the second time), leaves him, moves in with new fella and files for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour - brother-in-law really is the nicest bloke you'll ever meet and unreasonable behaviour is merely a lame excuse she is using to achieve a divorce, nevermind the fact that she's the one who's had the affair (not for the first time remember) and left the nest. His wife has now told him that she intends to marry her new partner and take sole custody of the kids; she also making various threats and playing many evil mind games (and winning!).

Anyways, my brother-in-law has been to see a solicitor to see where he stands but has been told he does not qualify for legal aid (apparently he earns too much), yet cannot afford to pay solicitor's fees (as a taxi driver he's barely earning enough to pay the mortgage, bills etc and is only just scraping through), so he's now very very afraid he won't see his children again and doesn't know what to do or where to turn for help.

I haven't a clue on what goes on in divorces so can't really offer any suitable advice, but if any scoobynetters can offer any advice on what his options are, or where he stands legally, etc, I'd be more than grateful if you could share it.

Cheers in advance.

scousefly

Been through 2 BUT they ended amicably as far as solicitors were concerned the 1st I was glad to get rid of the 2nd I ****ed up but I had fell outta love with her.
In your brother in laws case I would fight the evil bitch all the way no matter of cost cause you cant put a price on your kids, and then hopefully the evil bitch will ****ing rot in hell......BITCH

sbk1972

Well, the key here is good legal advice. Being a taxi driver, tell him to either alter his books to show he's making no money, or if he's an owner driver, become company driver, anything to reduce his salary to the point where he will qualifly.

Or, in the meantime, accept that he has to pay, and get one or two hours of advice. Being realistic, if he doesnt do something, he'll have nothing anyway, so might as well pay for advice some way. Can you perhaps loan him some cash ?

Ring up the CAB ? See what they suggest ? Search the net for advice / solicitors. Many of these people give the first 30 mins free.

Nasty story, and I hope it works out good for him.

Women, evil creatures. A friend was in a similar situation, the ex-wife even blamed her affair on him, as he was working all the time to provide for his family, meant he wasnt home enough and she found someone else.

SBK

Chris.B

iTrader: (4)

mrtheedge2u2

How long has the disease riddled slag been seeing her new fella?

David Lock

Always bad to hear when relationships break down, especially if kids are involved

Tell him to calm down, don't respond to threats from his wife and get him to see CABS ASAP. Meat and drink to them.

CABS will almost certainly have other advice lines but he is going to need a reasonable solicitor. Can the family help out with costs?

If he is Internet savvy then I am sure there will be reams of advice on the web; probably too much.

It can't do him any harm if he keeps a diary of things like times she refused to let him see his children.

dl

mrtheedge2u2

And very importantly, tell him not to be dragged into arguments with her.

I know it is hard for him but he needs to keep a level head

BlkKnight

If you need to know details of a good accountant who will be able to massage your figures, please drop me a PM.

Leslie

Its a terrible situation for him. She is obviously a selfish and unprincipled person. The trouble is, it always seems to be the husband who gets the bad end of the stick . Must be easier for the courts to deal with it in that way.

I hope he can find someone who can defend him and leave his character in a good light. People like his wife will tell any lie to get their own way I'm afraid!

Les

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

If you want to PM me I can give you the low down on divorce and how to survive it/her. Been there, done that although she kept the t-shirt !!

urban

iTrader: (1)

I'm not sure the husband always gets the bad end of the stick.
I know of a case right now where the wife(Innocent by the way) is getting the wrong end of the stick - and big time I might add.
I know that just sounds wrong, but you know what I mean

I've been through 1 case, although it was kept amicable.
Solicitors were involved, but just from a legal point of view - not to shaft someone.
I regret that now - the split that is.

Tell him good luck, but he must reduce his income by whatever means - legal aid is very important for him especially based on what you say.
Surely the company can help him out - by reducing his pay etc, pretending to charge depot/car or radio rent etc

Shaun

gpssti4

iTrader: (6)

What if she had an accident............................

TopBanana

Dads UK is very supportive and knowledgable place

Puff The Magic Wagon!

iTrader: (2)

I would suggest that he counter-sued for adultery

That make's custody a bit easier.


Useful website The Divorce Process and How to Cope at Divorce Resource (UK)

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

Ah Puff, the cost of it goes up though

My solicitor advised me the following when my ex-wife was divorcing me.

a) accept the Unreasonable behaviour charge and get it all sorted for around £1500

b) not accept it and drag it out for ages. cost around £3-6k

c) counter alledge and petition for a divorce against her in which case he said the sky is the limit


I went for option a)

David Lock

Note Swiss is the only man in history to be divorced on the grounds of unreasonable jokes

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

Well to be fair she did used to roll her eyes at the lameness of them

Peanuts

iTrader: (15)

tell him to hire a batman suit and make for the nearest public place
Seriously, the most important thing is not to get drawn into the petty arguements as hard as it is, he needs to detach from her petty nature and squabbles and do plenty of research on the net.
Next stop is a loan.

mouse555

iTrader: (1)

PM

Jonnys3

Cheers for all the advice and comments guys, it really is much appreciated.

Puff, TopBanana, those websites are exactly what the brother-in-law needs right now, just so he can answer his own questions and get his head around things without paying costly solicitors fees so cheers for that.

Scousefly, mrtheedege2u2, I think you guys must've met the evil woman before - you both have her description down to a 't'!!! I would love to see the bother-n-law drag the b!tch through hell and back, but I'm not sure it's in the best interests of his kids. She is a scheming w!tch

mouse555 you have PM.

Thanks again guys for all your input, I'll keep you all posted on how things progress.