Dedrater

"Mad Friday" everyone.

People are actually saying this to me today.

Anyway I was chatting up a bird online before.

She said, "I'm curvy, voluptuous and cuddly."

I said, "and I'm not stupid, fatty.

Have a good weekend

davegtt

A kid approached me the other day and said "Whats your favorite Telly Tubby?"

I replied "The new Samsung Widescreen you cheeky little ****"

Scoobydiid

Phil the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young laying hens (pullets) and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.

Phil kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Phil could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

Farmer Phil favourite rooster was old Gordon, and a very fine specimen he was too. But on this particular morning Phil noticed old Gordon's bell hadn't rung at all!

Phil went to investigate. All the other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to farmer Phil amazement, Gordon had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do the business and walk on to the next one.

Phil was so proud of Gordon, he entered him in the West Berks County Fair and Gordon became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded Gordon the No Bell Peace Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly Gordon was a politician in the making: Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Do you know a Pullitician called Gordon?

Sosbanite

<wiping the coffee off the keyboard>

njkmrs

Warning Crude !!!!!












Two Queers.

One dies.

Bloke in funeral parlour asked dead blokes partner if he had any special requests for the deceased .
"Yes, can you make him into a curry please ?"

"What the hell for asked the funeral parlour bloke !!!! ."

"So I can eat him was the reply .I just want to feel him slip out of my **** one more time !!!!!!!!!!!!! "