this is a serious post

i am due to start a dog **** war with a neighbour and wondered if i can prove the poo is coming from a their dog. the dog no longer has access to my garden,(every entrance blocked) so the **** if being thrown over. the poo's in question are bigger than my dog!!

i have had a mahoosive argument with the neighbour and its coming to blows. just wondered if i can prove this one way or the other

 

Perhaps you need to watch a little less CSI on telly

Why not try CCTV to catch them at it, even if it is their dog you would need to prove they did it, cctv footage would be the proof one way or the other.

cheap systems about these days.

falling out with neighbours is never a good idea, these days you will need to disclose any disputes when you sell, failure to and a problem arises could cost you £££££. Besides that, you have to live there and a bad atmosphere is not healthy.

 

another vote for CCTV. You could start with a permanently recording webcam that is just attached to your PC. Discreetly placed it may yield the results you want.

I'd not advocate the full on massive CCTV camera with IR beams blasting over into their garden as the first stage. That may just cause more hassle than it sorts.

 

It is possible to get the poo DNA tested but under current EU legislation, the dog in question has to voluntarily submit to a stool sample under vet supervision.

I hope for your sake that it's not a German Shepherd as they know their rights and are notoriously uncooperative when it comes to things like this

















Oh right.......you were serious

 

Unless of course the dog is arrested, then it will end up on the doggy DNA database whether it likes it or not...

 

The UK today = a doggy asbo!

 

lol at you lot

the CCTV isnt going to work as my garden is big and surrounded by trees so they wont be seen.

i was thinking that i could get a sample of DNA from the dogs water bowl and a poo sample and hey presto

dont know if i can do it over the internet the same as you do for paternity testing

if i cant do that then i might throw it back so it lands near the roof window of their conservatory

 

Why not just throw it back anyway if you know 100% its not your dogs If it gets anyworse have 100 tons of Manure delivered to their front garden

 

i only find it after me or my daughter have trod in it. dont see why i should have to do anything as its not my dog ****.

they got a new drum kit at the weekend so this isnt going to bed anytime soon

 

I would stick with the CSI route and examine the splatter direction of the poo, this will give you the direction that it came from. By analysing the poo circumference(sp?) and ridgidity you can estimate the height that it has dropped from. This will tell you whether it came from your neighbours or your neighbours neighbours with an almighty fling.

Sorry couldn't help it

 

do you not think i have done that???!!!

you watch too much tv

 

Canine **** Investigation?

 

ithink this is a thread for DCI

 

I'm guessing the "its bigget than my dog" line was not quite truthful then

Are you sure its not old **** that you just haven't found before??

 

You in the poo again, Sara

 

i am always in the doo doo lesley

DD, this poo was fresh, it still had the pedigree chum smell emanating from it. anyway, we are talking plural here. i find 4 or 5 'fresh' ones each time i go out in the garden

i feel a pic coming on

 

Yes, you can get DNA from poo. The bad news is that normal profiling doesn't work, and you have to use LCN, which will set you back about £2500 per sample. And no, that's not a typo. Could be worse - it used to need mitochondrial which is a grand more than that.


M

 

bigger btw

my dog is tiny

 

holy ****, thats a bit expensive!!

 

Why not just ignore it for a while, but collect all the ****.. If it 'mysteriously' stops because your neighbour gets bored then go and dump the collected tuddies on her (I assume its a woman because blokes arent so bloody petty) drive way.

 

hope its worth it - as has been said, you are knocking thosands of your house price as you go down this road.

 

dont worry, they will be getting it back

this happened last year with their dog getting into my garden and ripping the fence apart so it could have a dump in my veggy patch. now that i have sealed my garden up they chuck it over. after my rant with the woman of the house i told her i was getting the **** tested so i could take them to court. i wish i hadnt been so hasty now as i cant do much at all.

i have been collecting the **** up in a bucket (half full).........been deciding what to do with it.....any suggestions welcome

 

Poocastles!

 

poocastles

i bet i could get something for it on ebay

 

DCI....

Doggy Crapper Investigations?

Make an Bunny out of the sh*t, cover it in foil and give it back to them for Easter.

J.

 

as long as there are no nuts in it

 

Are you sure it isn't cat s**t? , they ******* can get anywhere as my new lawn found out to my cost.

 

1: Get a paper bag.

2: Place poo in paper bag.

3: Place paper bag on neighbour's doorstep.

4: Set fire to paper bag.

5: Ring neighbour's doorbell.

6: Leg it.

 

Damn! Beat me to it! LOL

 

i wonder if i can get an exploding bag