Big John Smeaton
10 July 2007, 10:15 AM
#1
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,400
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Big John Smeaton
Some things you probably didn'y know about John Smeaton, the guy that jumped in and took the terrorist out at Glasgow airport.........
Once a cobra bit John Smeaton’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
John Smeaton uses his abs to smooth diamonds
John Smeaton does not dodge bullets. Bullets dodge John Smeaton
Everynight before the bogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for John Smeaton.
John Smeaton doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants
It was once believed that John actually lost a fight to a terrorist, but that is a lie, created by John himself to lure more terrorists to him
Smeaton went tae the same school as Charles Bronson and stole his dinner money everyday.
John Smeaton isn’t afraid of the dark…the dark is afraid of John Smeaton.
John Smeaton once killed a lion with his bare hands.
John Smeaton can make a woman climax just by looking at her and shouting ALLAH!
Anthropologists are studying John Smeaton to try to find the origins of the lack of “flight” in his “fight or flight” response
Smeaton used to racially abuse Bruce Lee to his face, and forced him to cook him Chicken choi mein every night free of charge.
Alex Salmond has abandoned any future plans for wind farms in Scotland.He is just going to use Johnny’s arms to power the whole of Scotland and sell the surplus energy to the East Coast of America.
There was a Comet headin straight for Earth one year ago, it was too big for Nasa to destroy wi Nuclear bombs.. so they phoned Smeaton to jump up on springs and punch f*ck oot it.
John once challenged Chuck Norris to a square go. Mr Norris kindly refused the advance.
John Smeaton can strangle you with a cordless phone.
John Smeaton won a game of connect 4 in 2 moves.
John Smeaton can delete the recycle bin
If you wake up tomorrow, it’ll be because John Smeaton allowed you to
Smeaton once held down eight Tigers and gang raped them.
John Smeaton dosent sleep, he waits.
When John Smeaton does push ups, he’s actually pushing the ground down.
The Argies surrendered Port Stanley when they heard that John Smeaton had been born.
John Smeaton is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*cking Jeep.
John Smeaton drowned a fish.
Death once had a near-John Smeaton experience.
John Smeaton died 5 years ago, Death never had the ***** to tell him
John Smeaton once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
John Smeaton is unable to remember or pronounce the word "fear".
John Smeaton invented Spain.
John Smeaton is a one-man mobile command unit.
John Smeaton has more body mass than that of 50 men combined.
John Smeaton is a deliverer of justice to evil-doers.
John Smeaton refuses to acknowledge the existence colour Pink, instead calling it "very light Red".
In certain languages Smeaton is a noun literally meaning 'miner of the valley of death'.
John Smeaton never wears white which he believes to be the colour of surrender... and also the nation of France.
John Smeaton co-wrote the screen play for both Robocop and Terminator, originating the phrases "Dead or alive, you're coming with me", and "I'll be back" he chose to keep, "We'll just set aboot ye" for himself.
John Smeaton exists twice in every dimension of the multiverse.
John Smeaton is invulnerable to Kryptonite, is bombproof and also fireproof.
John Smeaton has infra-red vision.
If John Smeaton were to be cloned, the earth would be thrown into a two-sided world conflict in which both John Smeaton and John Smeaton would be victorious.
John Smeaton is actually a cyborg sent from the year 2195.
The concept of John Smeaton in a fighting contest is an oxymoron. When Smeaton is involved, there is no contest.
Some kids p*ss their name in the snow. John Smeaton can p*ss his name into concrete.
John Smeatons' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools John Smeaton.
John Smeaton counted to infinity - twice.
Once, while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of John Smeaton' sp*rm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Superman owns a pair of John Smeaton pajamas.
John Smeaton can slam revolving doors.
Giraffes were created when John Smeaton uppercutted a horse.
John Smeaton was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
John Smeatons' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because John Smeaton will not take **** from anyone.
John Smeaton can kill two stones with one bird.
One of Smeaton's punches is equivalent to being hit by 100 flaming cherokee jeeps with gas cannisters in the back travelling at 60mph simultaneously - but only if *all* the cannisters explode upon impact.
John Smeaton lost his virginity before his Dad.
Once a cobra bit John Smeaton’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
John Smeaton uses his abs to smooth diamonds
John Smeaton does not dodge bullets. Bullets dodge John Smeaton
Everynight before the bogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for John Smeaton.
John Smeaton doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants
It was once believed that John actually lost a fight to a terrorist, but that is a lie, created by John himself to lure more terrorists to him
Smeaton went tae the same school as Charles Bronson and stole his dinner money everyday.
John Smeaton isn’t afraid of the dark…the dark is afraid of John Smeaton.
John Smeaton once killed a lion with his bare hands.
John Smeaton can make a woman climax just by looking at her and shouting ALLAH!
Anthropologists are studying John Smeaton to try to find the origins of the lack of “flight” in his “fight or flight” response
Smeaton used to racially abuse Bruce Lee to his face, and forced him to cook him Chicken choi mein every night free of charge.
Alex Salmond has abandoned any future plans for wind farms in Scotland.He is just going to use Johnny’s arms to power the whole of Scotland and sell the surplus energy to the East Coast of America.
There was a Comet headin straight for Earth one year ago, it was too big for Nasa to destroy wi Nuclear bombs.. so they phoned Smeaton to jump up on springs and punch f*ck oot it.
John once challenged Chuck Norris to a square go. Mr Norris kindly refused the advance.
John Smeaton can strangle you with a cordless phone.
John Smeaton won a game of connect 4 in 2 moves.
John Smeaton can delete the recycle bin
If you wake up tomorrow, it’ll be because John Smeaton allowed you to
Smeaton once held down eight Tigers and gang raped them.
John Smeaton dosent sleep, he waits.
When John Smeaton does push ups, he’s actually pushing the ground down.
The Argies surrendered Port Stanley when they heard that John Smeaton had been born.
John Smeaton is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f*cking Jeep.
John Smeaton drowned a fish.
Death once had a near-John Smeaton experience.
John Smeaton died 5 years ago, Death never had the ***** to tell him
John Smeaton once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
John Smeaton is unable to remember or pronounce the word "fear".
John Smeaton invented Spain.
John Smeaton is a one-man mobile command unit.
John Smeaton has more body mass than that of 50 men combined.
John Smeaton is a deliverer of justice to evil-doers.
John Smeaton refuses to acknowledge the existence colour Pink, instead calling it "very light Red".
In certain languages Smeaton is a noun literally meaning 'miner of the valley of death'.
John Smeaton never wears white which he believes to be the colour of surrender... and also the nation of France.
John Smeaton co-wrote the screen play for both Robocop and Terminator, originating the phrases "Dead or alive, you're coming with me", and "I'll be back" he chose to keep, "We'll just set aboot ye" for himself.
John Smeaton exists twice in every dimension of the multiverse.
John Smeaton is invulnerable to Kryptonite, is bombproof and also fireproof.
John Smeaton has infra-red vision.
If John Smeaton were to be cloned, the earth would be thrown into a two-sided world conflict in which both John Smeaton and John Smeaton would be victorious.
John Smeaton is actually a cyborg sent from the year 2195.
The concept of John Smeaton in a fighting contest is an oxymoron. When Smeaton is involved, there is no contest.
Some kids p*ss their name in the snow. John Smeaton can p*ss his name into concrete.
John Smeatons' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools John Smeaton.
John Smeaton counted to infinity - twice.
Once, while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of John Smeaton' sp*rm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Superman owns a pair of John Smeaton pajamas.
John Smeaton can slam revolving doors.
Giraffes were created when John Smeaton uppercutted a horse.
John Smeaton was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
John Smeatons' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because John Smeaton will not take **** from anyone.
John Smeaton can kill two stones with one bird.
One of Smeaton's punches is equivalent to being hit by 100 flaming cherokee jeeps with gas cannisters in the back travelling at 60mph simultaneously - but only if *all* the cannisters explode upon impact.
John Smeaton lost his virginity before his Dad.
10 July 2007, 10:19 AM
#2
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Disco, Disco!
Posts: 21,825
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
More importantly - John Smeaton had a go, took a big risk and had a go, i hope i would have the ***** to in this situation.
Not too sure what all the boll8x above is really...
Not too sure what all the boll8x above is really...
Last edited by The Zohan; 10 July 2007 at 10:26 AM.
10 July 2007, 11:46 AM
#6
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,400
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
What gave you that impression ?!%*??
It is supposed to be a tongue in cheek description of how hard he is, basically because he took on a terrorist with no thought for his own saftey.
It is supposed to be a tongue in cheek description of how hard he is, basically because he took on a terrorist with no thought for his own saftey.
Trending Topics
10 July 2007, 12:13 PM
#9
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,400
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
10 July 2007, 12:22 PM
#11
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,400
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
10 July 2007, 12:35 PM
#15
Scooby Regular
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Secretly saving for another Blobeye STI. Crystal Grey. Widetrack
Posts: 1,985
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
One thing we can all agree with is that whoever the guy was who took on the clowns in the Jeep he deserves the George Medal for bravery.
Having said that so do the people who took on those 21/7 clowns on the underground and bus who are soon never to see the light of day again.
Having said that so do the people who took on those 21/7 clowns on the underground and bus who are soon never to see the light of day again.
10 July 2007, 12:53 PM
#16
Scooby Regular
For those still unfamiliar
John Smeaton - Hero For Our Time · One Brave Weegie Takes on al-Qaeda
News of the Worls article below is worth a read
News of the World: News
John Smeaton - Hero For Our Time · One Brave Weegie Takes on al-Qaeda
News of the Worls article below is worth a read
News of the World: News
Last edited by SiPie; 10 July 2007 at 12:57 PM.
10 July 2007, 01:02 PM
#18
Scooby Senior
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: RIP - Tam the bam & Andy the Jock
Posts: 14,333
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by John S.
"I just shouted, ‘F***ing come on then' and dashed towards him," said John. "I didn't think — there was no time. I just acted."
10 July 2007, 01:03 PM
#19
Scooby Senior
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: 52 Festive Road
Posts: 28,311
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by SiPie;7096746[URL="http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/0807_smeaton.shtml"
News of the World: News[/URL]
"And if any more extremists are still wanting to rise up and start trouble, know this: we'll rise right back up against you. "New York, Madrid, London, Paisley...we're all in this together and make no mistake, none of us will hold back from putting the boot in."
10 July 2007, 01:06 PM
#21
Scooby Senior
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: RIP - Tam the bam & Andy the Jock
Posts: 14,333
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
my mate Kit Kat — we call him that because he's always having a break
We call Fred ‘The Wingman' because he once drove the baggage truck into the wing of an EasyJet plane
We call Fred ‘The Wingman' because he once drove the baggage truck into the wing of an EasyJet plane
10 July 2007, 01:11 PM
#22
Scooby Regular
"Instinct just kicked in. I heard myself saying, ‘That's no right. He's not hitting that copper — no chance'.
"I ran up there to leather him. I piled in and tried to get a kick in.
"He was swinging at me, shouting Allah this and Allah that, and at that stage I started to get a vague idea of what was going on.
"Then I saw other Glaswegians weighing in too. They were all giving him what for. I think some guy banjoed him on the side of the head.
"The fight was still going on, but I span round and saw the driver, Kafeel Ahmed. He was head to toe in flame. Abdulla was still fighting. I've never seen a man fighting with such anger before, not even at kicking-out time in Paisley town centre.
"I ran up there to leather him. I piled in and tried to get a kick in.
"He was swinging at me, shouting Allah this and Allah that, and at that stage I started to get a vague idea of what was going on.
"Then I saw other Glaswegians weighing in too. They were all giving him what for. I think some guy banjoed him on the side of the head.
"The fight was still going on, but I span round and saw the driver, Kafeel Ahmed. He was head to toe in flame. Abdulla was still fighting. I've never seen a man fighting with such anger before, not even at kicking-out time in Paisley town centre.
10 July 2007, 03:01 PM
#24
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Edinburgh (ish)
Posts: 8,089
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by what would scooby do;7096772
"New York, [B
"New York, [B
Madrid,[/B] London, Paisley...we're all in this together and make no mistake, none of us will hold back from putting the boot in."
10 July 2007, 07:24 PM
#25
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: GC8 Enthusiast - Scumball3000 Team 69
Posts: 2,002
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
10 July 2007, 11:19 PM
#27
Scooby Regular
Join Date: May 2006
Location: West Lothian
Posts: 137
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Those hapless al-Qaeda boys were to find out that Glasgow has no respect for international terrorism. Nobody gets between 10,000 Weegies and a £99 week in Ibiza booked on Thursday night through Barrhead Travel.
My favourite line
My favourite line
11 July 2007, 12:40 AM
#28
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (12)
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: used to be RichTee but lost my password !!!!
Posts: 271
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Got sent this the other day, made me chuckle - some classic quotes from the big man at the end.
R.
Subject: FW: Glasgow v America
If Saturday's incident had happened in a US airport, compared to Glasgow Airport
Eyewitness accounts:~
America: "Oh my God! There was a man on fire, he was running about, I just ran for my life...I thought I was going to die, he got so close to me"
Glasgow: "C*nt wis running aboot on fire, so a ran up n gave him a good boot, then decked him"
America: "I just want to get home, away from here...I just want to get home, I thought I was going to die"
Glasgow: "Am no leaving here till am oan a f*ckin' plane!"
America: "there was pandemonium, people were running in all directions, we didn't know what happening was; I thought I was going to die"
Glasgow: "F*ck this, moan we'll get a pint in"
America: "We thought he was gonna blow us all up he had a gas canister, and was trying to get into his trunk, I thought we were going to die, I just ran for my life"
Glasgow: "a walked by the motor that wis on fire, and the dafty couldnae even open his boot, he wis in fire annaw so a ran up n gave him a good boot to the baws"
America: "I'm too traumatised even to speak, I thought I was going to die"
Glasgow: "here mate, gees 2 minutes till a phone ma auld dear, if am gonna be oan the telly a want her tae tape it"
And finally, two quotes from an eye-witness.........John Smeaton (these are real)
John has just surpassed his interview on the National ITV news.
ITV Interviewer asked: "What message do you have for the bombers"
John replied: ... "This is Glasgow we'll set aboot yae"
John was interviewed yesterday on CNN
CNN Interviewer asked: "How did you manage to restrain the terrorist?"
John replied: ... "Me and the other folk were just tryin 2 get the boot in and some other guy banjoed him"!
R.
Subject: FW: Glasgow v America
If Saturday's incident had happened in a US airport, compared to Glasgow Airport
Eyewitness accounts:~
America: "Oh my God! There was a man on fire, he was running about, I just ran for my life...I thought I was going to die, he got so close to me"
Glasgow: "C*nt wis running aboot on fire, so a ran up n gave him a good boot, then decked him"
America: "I just want to get home, away from here...I just want to get home, I thought I was going to die"
Glasgow: "Am no leaving here till am oan a f*ckin' plane!"
America: "there was pandemonium, people were running in all directions, we didn't know what happening was; I thought I was going to die"
Glasgow: "F*ck this, moan we'll get a pint in"
America: "We thought he was gonna blow us all up he had a gas canister, and was trying to get into his trunk, I thought we were going to die, I just ran for my life"
Glasgow: "a walked by the motor that wis on fire, and the dafty couldnae even open his boot, he wis in fire annaw so a ran up n gave him a good boot to the baws"
America: "I'm too traumatised even to speak, I thought I was going to die"
Glasgow: "here mate, gees 2 minutes till a phone ma auld dear, if am gonna be oan the telly a want her tae tape it"
And finally, two quotes from an eye-witness.........John Smeaton (these are real)
John has just surpassed his interview on the National ITV news.
ITV Interviewer asked: "What message do you have for the bombers"
John replied: ... "This is Glasgow we'll set aboot yae"
John was interviewed yesterday on CNN
CNN Interviewer asked: "How did you manage to restrain the terrorist?"
John replied: ... "Me and the other folk were just tryin 2 get the boot in and some other guy banjoed him"!
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
MightyArsenal
Wheels, Tyres & Brakes
6
25 September 2015 08:31 PM