What methods do you employ for punishing other drivers for their lack of care, selfishness and general bad driving?

Here are a few I like to use:

1) Slow drivers - nothing worse than someone driving obnoxiously slow either because they are trying to spite you or their driving is so ****e that 20mph is the very limit of of their abilities.

Obviously you must overtake as soon as it is safe to do so so that they know that you wish to travel faster. Do this as loudly and aggressively as possible. Reinforce with a blast of the horn as you go past. Cut in sharply in front and raise the middle finger.

Depending on whether you are in a hurry you can then optionally slow down to 10mph and give them a taste of their own medicine. If they try to overtake you back then floor it so they are left exposed on the wrong side of the road.

2) Tailgaters - pet hate this one. I usually like to to gently slow down until I am doing a speed that matches the distance they are leaving between us. If they are a total **** then they usually close up even further, which obviously means you must slow down further. When you get really slow they might try to overtake. If so then floor it as above to leave them exposed on the wrong side of the road.

3) Middle lane w*nkers - got to be the circling game. Overtake them in lane 3, pull sharply and aggressively across to lane 1 and see if they get the hint. If not then lift off until they go past again. Then pull out to lane 3, overtake and repeat.


Any more favourite punishment tips for the scumballs?

 

You could of just opened a can of worms with this post. Ok I'm going to have a think?

Alex

 

My you are an asset to the Subaru image and community

 

What would Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham say?

 

4) People holding a phone to their ear whilst driving - drive alongside them wait till you catch their eye and use a famous hand gesture to question their personal habits.
5) Speeding Cars - Big thumbs up as they fly past you to let them know theyre special... If you're feeling brave afford them a little visible round of applause. Remember driving like a **** is big and clever
6) Foglights on when it's not foggy? - point at foglights, point at driver, laugh and use that well known hand gesture that questions personal habits again!
7) Following a car not using indicators? Simply flash the car each time it happens. If he stops to ask why be polite and tell him his indicators appear to be broken.
HTH

 

Tailgaters: my windscreen washers can dispense rather a lot of soapy water, and at normal speeds most runs upwards off the windscreen and into the airflow going over the car. If I decide to use 10x what I need to shift a small bug, the car behind often gets a bit wet and has to wipe his own windows.

And repeat.

And repeat

And repeat, etc.

I Imagine it gets a bit annoying after a few times.

 

I find a decent blast of the horn whilst alongside works wonders, often they're quite preoccupied in their conversation and I've seen a few people almost crap themselves in panic and drop the phone on the floor in the footwell - as for a moment they think they're about to get T-boned by a car they've just pulled out in front of.

 

Drivers who try and undertake you on Motor/Dual Carriage Way: Perosnally i like to speed up so they can under take and position yourself so that when they finally come across another car in the Middle lane going slower that them they have to brake and get behind you or just drop back a couple of cars.

 

Good suggestions everyone

Cyclists - you spend forever trying to overtake a wobbly **** on his bike and then they cut down the inside of you and jump the red light!

Make sure you pull up nice and tight to the kerb so they can't get past. If they try to get round the other side then wind down your window and throw some abuse/food/whatever at them. Well aimed washer jets work well too!

 

If you're able to speed up to stop them undertaking, then presumably there's nothing in front of you?

In which case the undertaking driver is probably an irate scoobynetter trying to "punish" just another lane hogging tw@t who can't exercise proper lane discipline.

 

Oh and what about Cyclists who ride next to eachother therefore blocking most of your lane. Thats against the Highway code don't you know. Just when its safe to do so, open the Scoobs up and blast past them and scare them half to death. Also if you've got your big mate in the passanger side, let him feel free to wind the window down and clip them around the Helment as you blast past.

Alex

Now before I begin does anybody have any suggestion about Mobile Traffic Wardens???

 

Another thing which really annoys me is people parking on a narrow road so that only one lane of traffic can get past. You often see this where people have bought a cheap scummy house on a main road and insist on parking directly outside it. They often have their mirrors hanging off where people have clipped it

I like to sound my horn every time I am held up by a selfish parker. If everyone did this the people in the house would get so p1ssed off they would eventually find a less selfish place to park.

If you've got time make a sign saying "Beep if you think this car is parked selfishly" and lean it up against the obstruction.

 

I simply wind down my window and open fire with my Desert Eagle.


That'll teach anybody to annoy me in my Scoob

 

9) Hesitant drivers waiting to pull onto a roundabout, but not going for it when an opportunity comes along.

Simply move forward until your front bumper is in contact with their rear bumper and give then a gentle push onto the roundabout. They will soon get the idea

 

I tried this on a slow driver in my old escort. Just gave them a gentle bumper kiss but the stupid old duffer panicked and jammed the brakes on!


Might work better on a roundabout though!

 

What an important chap you must be, all that punishment that you impose on those drivers who irrtate you. What would we do without such stirling actions from the likes of you to maintain the drivings standards in this country. We can only hope that your valuable inputs may become known to the authorities and then we will see you gettiing a special award for your trouble!

I bow to your towering superiority!

Les

 

Re- tw@t Lane Hogger.

There is always someone infront of you doing a safe speed or somewhere there are Speed cameras. The last thing you want is the undertaker to undertake you and get infront. Or if you want, you can think outside the box and let them undertake you so that they can annoy the car infront of you and then undertake them both and let them feel the power of the Scoob . F#cks the **** up!!!!

 

Which are you then? Slow driver? Tailgater? Cyclist?

Or just a complete lack of humour

 

Just wait till thedays where everything is like Mad Max. Road Rage - We just run em off the road or shoot em. A little harsh maybe? no? , maybe? ok I have to go now....

Alexppp

 

Sweet!

 

I prefer to look at my own driving and try and improve that rather than trying to inflict "education" on others while in the safety of a tin box.

However, I did get a grovelling apology off a very dangerous driver once after I chased him into a car park...

 

Simply apply Rule 3 in this case.

 

Dude, where do you find the extra little smilely Faces?? They rock!

 

It's not that hard...



For anyone but a retard that is..


Jeez this board is going downhill fast....

 

Is this the one,

opps my bad

Alexppp

 

Motorists who think they own the road when I'm abiding by all the rules on my push bike. Just because I'm trying to keep fit and save on fuel, emissions, wear and tear on the car, makes me some sort of target for a large majority of car drivers.
Yve

 

You are a wan*er, if you threw anything at me, I'd pull you from your little tin box and give you a kicking that you deserve.

 

Errrrrr no it's not. Although I dissagree with them doing it unless in groups of 8 or more.

Give cyclists room FFS.

As for them going through red lights, then that's naughty!

 

Calm down dear....i don't think he was being serious, just a bit of humour