SwissTony's Saturday Humour Thread ©
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 28,233
Likes: 14
From: In the Doghouse
SwissTony's Saturday Humour Thread ©
Bit late today, but here it is 
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)
* You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10
* No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. - Kristen, age 10 (looks like Kristen is made for Alan!!)
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
*
* Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. - Camille, age 10
*
* No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)
*
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
*
* You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
* Both don't want any more kids. - Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
* Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
- Lynnette, age 8
* On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, age 10 (Who said boys don't have brains!)
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
* I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
- Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
* When they're rich.
- Pam, age 7
* The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - Curt, age 7 (yeah, that'll stop them)
* The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8 (Who made the rule?)
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
* I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
- Theodore, age 8
* It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
- Anita, age 9
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
* There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favourite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
* Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
- Ricky, age 10 (The boy already understands)
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon
however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were
swimming to the safety of shore.
The male whale was enraged that they were going to get away, so told the
female whale, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.
"Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse
to swallow the seamen. . . "
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)
* You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10
* No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.
God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. - Kristen, age 10 (looks like Kristen is made for Alan!!)
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
*
* Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. - Camille, age 10
*
* No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)
*
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
*
* You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
* Both don't want any more kids. - Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
* Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
- Lynnette, age 8
* On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, age 10 (Who said boys don't have brains!)
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
* I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
- Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
* When they're rich.
- Pam, age 7
* The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - Curt, age 7 (yeah, that'll stop them)
* The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8 (Who made the rule?)
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
* I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
- Theodore, age 8
* It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
- Anita, age 9
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
* There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favourite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
* Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
- Ricky, age 10 (The boy already understands)
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon
however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were
swimming to the safety of shore.
The male whale was enraged that they were going to get away, so told the
female whale, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.
"Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse
to swallow the seamen. . . "
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,721
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Originally Posted by SwissTony
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
* Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
- Ricky, age 10 (The boy already understands)
* Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
- Ricky, age 10 (The boy already understands)
I like his style, i now know where i've going wrong with the Pig comments
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Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 28,233
Likes: 14
From: In the Doghouse
Originally Posted by Nat21
i just found out today that i have the right to be married in St Pauls Cathedral in London
That would be quite swish 
Better not let the gf know though
best keep it quiet
Guest
Posts: n/a
Originally Posted by SwissTony
a friend of a friend who's dad was the archbishop actually had her wedding there...now that is pretty cool, though you might have to put up with loads of tourists...
best keep it quiet
best keep it quiet
Would probably still rather have it on a beach somewhere in the Whitsunday Islands though
Edit - spooling
Last edited by Nat; Dec 18, 2006 at 12:33 PM.
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