Yesterday I defrosted 2 tuna steaks, one for me and one for Mrs Abdabz... At tea time I grilled the little beauties, turning regularly and served with some chips, sweetcorn and coleslaw (hmm hmm)...
Exactly 2 hours later (20:30 hours) I felt the sudden and unwelcome urge of an incredible bowel movement... Waddling to the loo I placed myself on the open seat and what happened next was like someone had opened a sluice gate on the river poop
Once finished, I returned to the BBCs Rogue Traders programme (a silly show, yet a public service) and told my good lady that our romantic night may be in jeopardy due to what were now deafening noises coming from my small and large intestines
15 minutes later and incredible bowel movement number 2 , waddling to the loo for yet another grand opening of a major sluice gate ...
Wipe and return...
15 mintues later (21:00 and Chef Ramsey is about to lambast some retarded americans) and strike 3
At this point and feeling somewhat sore, stingy and faint, I take two immodium (the anti diarrhoea ambrosia ) and continued to watch Hells Kitchen go wrong when, at 21:15, I had to go again!!!
I had the sweats and felt light headed at this point so went on the internet and looked up "Tuna, food, poisoning, 2 hours" etc and was presented with a list of not so friendly bacteria which would paralise me before killing me
I went to bed and awaited my fate...
Woke up this morning and I am well, well I tell you At 32 I survived my first ever adult food poisoning attack
HA! Bacterial tuna, you were no match for me... Now, where's my flat lemonade and digestive biscuits

 

ROTFL & FPM

Glad your OK mate, made me laugh tho!

 

Nice toilet write up

 

I suspect you are eloquently describing a pretty nasty bug that is doing the rounds which has nothing to do with the Tuna at all. It can last for days

 

I think I have it.....

One extreme to the other.....

Anyone else?

 

Don't take immodium - you have the ***** for a good reason!

 

Drink lots of water

 

Oh i am & beer............

I have terrible stomach pains after i've eaten, then BANG! all better, but that has the reverse effect

 

I'm laughing at you, not with you


I hope you feel better soon though

 

Who, Moi?

 

No, Abdabz. after *that* write up

 

I was too, but if I have the same thing - I wont be laughing!

 

I had a few days last week, when within about 1 hour of eating I had terrible stomach pains - but no ill effects...

There always seems to be nasty bugs doing the rounds this time of year

 

Nah Im OK now, cured, all dried up so to speak... Still drinking lots of water though...
My innards simply decied to repel the antichrist in the guise of manky tuna and now my bacon butty is soon to be ingested

 

The antichrist Fingers crossed the ingestion of said bacon butty doesn't get you on the move again

 

Don't eat oysters

My belly has the odd rubble in the jungle moment before errupting in an explosive expulsion of fecal matter which pebble dashes the entire toilet bowl.

Normally 3 trips, then it settles itself. I see it as my digestive tract's attitude of "f**k off, I'm digesting THAT" and pulling the plug on my anus. Once everything has been ejected, its back to its normal self and happy again.

 

Think it could be a trip to the docs

Scares the **** out of me, in case it is anything else, Dad had colon cancer.....

 

FPMSL Abdabz

Such lovely descriptive terms you used too

 

It's probably nothing to worry about, just a lurgy going through your system,but if it continues then its best to get yourself checked. I'm just the same with mouth ulcers.. my dad has had oral cancer which started with an ulcer

 

It's the way he managed to drag himself back to the television in between colon evacuations

 

Well put lg ... It was more of a 'delicate waddle' than a dragging motion though

 

I think we've heard enough about your motions for one morning

 

I hope you were using some soft and strong and long!

 

I will, It just scares the **** out of me, the "What If" question

 

Yeah DK but, the missus went mad and said not to use her wooly stockings for such things ever again

 

been there done that, and not got to loo in time


few months ago went to lemans for the 25hour race and got it, big stylee

was poorly for about a week and lost a stone in wieght, not a very nice experiance i tell thee, glad you got over it so quick

 

A stone?

 

PMSL, stick 'em in the washer, she'll be none the wiser

You needed something soft because of the stingy ring burn

 

**** like a japanese flag

 

yes mate, was down a stone and a half when i got home cos of low fluid level and nothing in me, put half stone back on when i got back to eating normally, but down a stone in total. bit extream loosing a stone in 5 days