Families - average spend at Christmas and the moral issues......
#1
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Families - average spend at Christmas and the moral issues......
Yes, I know. Sorry for mentioning the swear word - but wifey and I were looking at ideas for the kids last night with prices etc...
It got me thinking as to how much it costs for Christmas these days (excluding the food/drink) - just gifts.
This then got me thinking about the moral issue faced by parents as to how much you should spend on your kids, and what is an acceptable or suitable gift.
What is an acceptable amount to spend on a kid - £50? £100? £200?
Is it dependant on age?
What would you let young kids have as gifts?
Obviously, this may cause some heated discussion, as it brings into play what parents think is suitable or not.
I think that
(a) income comes into it
(b) common sense - your own family values (not necessarily "Little Johhny is my angel therefore he can have anything he wants")
(c) If a kid can have anything, what's the point of Christmas (in terms of a season of giving) - it should be a special occasion (IMHO)
I'd be interested to see what everyone else thinks.....
Dan
It got me thinking as to how much it costs for Christmas these days (excluding the food/drink) - just gifts.
This then got me thinking about the moral issue faced by parents as to how much you should spend on your kids, and what is an acceptable or suitable gift.
What is an acceptable amount to spend on a kid - £50? £100? £200?
Is it dependant on age?
What would you let young kids have as gifts?
Obviously, this may cause some heated discussion, as it brings into play what parents think is suitable or not.
I think that
(a) income comes into it
(b) common sense - your own family values (not necessarily "Little Johhny is my angel therefore he can have anything he wants")
(c) If a kid can have anything, what's the point of Christmas (in terms of a season of giving) - it should be a special occasion (IMHO)
I'd be interested to see what everyone else thinks.....
Dan
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I think age does come into it. My son has just turned one, so I will be buying him an empty cardboard box and lots of wrapping paper, and let the grandparents, aunts, uncles and friend's spend money on him
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Lets say that, for Christmas AND birthdays, I found that the price of the product was not really linked to the amount of fun that the child got out of it.
"Spend time thinking, not cash"
"Spend time thinking, not cash"
#4
I appreciate that it is different for kids but for the adults in my life I now rarely buy presents or only get small things. I then donate as much as I can to the local hospice. Everyone I know who no longer gets very much from me agrees that it is a good idea and I've never had any objections and you know that your money is being put to good us and that the people need and appreciate the gift you are giving.
Now I know that life isn't always as simple as that but it is worth considering this when buying for adult friends as it gives you and them the chance to make a valulable contribution. Be aware, however, that it might be extremely dangerous to try this tactic on the new girlfriend, for example :-)
Now I know that life isn't always as simple as that but it is worth considering this when buying for adult friends as it gives you and them the chance to make a valulable contribution. Be aware, however, that it might be extremely dangerous to try this tactic on the new girlfriend, for example :-)
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Funnily enough, common sence and earning seem to play little part!
I've known people in £'000 of debt spend hundreds on the kids AND each other! Stupid!
Another fine reason to join the Jehovas Witness.
I've known people in £'000 of debt spend hundreds on the kids AND each other! Stupid!
Another fine reason to join the Jehovas Witness.
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And in the real world, your kids will be singled out at school and beaten for being different no matter how self righteous your little christmas ideologies are.
Just get them an XBOX 360 and a PSP and designer everything or be held responsible for neglecting your children
Just get them an XBOX 360 and a PSP and designer everything or be held responsible for neglecting your children
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I think the bench mark for kids really is something of a main present (xbox360?) but only the lucky kids got the expensive 1's the first year, most kids got their xbox360 the following year when it was down to £150 or less
To be honest Id suggest buy a small cheapish (£10-£20?) present once a month... on the run up to christmas and 1 main pressie at a cost of about £100... thats how its always been done in my parents house with 3 kids?!? obviously once the kids hit 16/18 (depending on if theyre earning etc) we didnt get much in the way of a main pressie.
To be honest Id suggest buy a small cheapish (£10-£20?) present once a month... on the run up to christmas and 1 main pressie at a cost of about £100... thats how its always been done in my parents house with 3 kids?!? obviously once the kids hit 16/18 (depending on if theyre earning etc) we didnt get much in the way of a main pressie.
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#8
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I gave my GF £500 last christmas. This was for a promise I would not have to get involved apart from cooking Christmas dinner.
This included:-
Our daughters presents - shes 4 in November and we have agreed to stop wasting money on presents she will never use. Her toy room is too full as it is!
All presents for both families - hers is a nightmare, mine are great and don't really expect anything.
All food for the 3 of us - I agreed to cook and help shop but no responsibility for planning.
And whatever was left over she could spend on christmas type things - sexy santa outfit, mistletoe nipple clamps that sort of thing
This included:-
Our daughters presents - shes 4 in November and we have agreed to stop wasting money on presents she will never use. Her toy room is too full as it is!
All presents for both families - hers is a nightmare, mine are great and don't really expect anything.
All food for the 3 of us - I agreed to cook and help shop but no responsibility for planning.
And whatever was left over she could spend on christmas type things - sexy santa outfit, mistletoe nipple clamps that sort of thing
#9
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I buy my kids something each month - nothing major. Maybe a kiddy magazine or a cheap DVD (£5 or so). If they've been REALLY good then maybe something more extravagant.
They are only 2.5 and 5 yrs old anyway, but I personally want them to learn the value of money (like I did) and spend it accordingly. So when they do get something nice, they know why.
When it comes to things like XBox etc, my family are pretty OK money-wise, but I never got anything of that type of value as a present. I had to earn it - paper rounds etc. Perhaps I'm being old-fashioned (But I do hold these values dear). My kids will never have that type of money spent on them. We'll have all those types of gadgets anyway (because I'll have them), however perhaps because my two kids a girls, their interests will lie elsewhere. Fashion? Music? Got that covered due to my job Who knows though?
I totally accept all the comments made so far - I'm not saying I agree with them, just accepting the views. Each person/family raises their kids differently. All I've discovered is that through discussing the subject, I know how NOT to bring up my kids up. Not saying that the methods are wrong, just not how I choose to do it
Dan
They are only 2.5 and 5 yrs old anyway, but I personally want them to learn the value of money (like I did) and spend it accordingly. So when they do get something nice, they know why.
When it comes to things like XBox etc, my family are pretty OK money-wise, but I never got anything of that type of value as a present. I had to earn it - paper rounds etc. Perhaps I'm being old-fashioned (But I do hold these values dear). My kids will never have that type of money spent on them. We'll have all those types of gadgets anyway (because I'll have them), however perhaps because my two kids a girls, their interests will lie elsewhere. Fashion? Music? Got that covered due to my job Who knows though?
I totally accept all the comments made so far - I'm not saying I agree with them, just accepting the views. Each person/family raises their kids differently. All I've discovered is that through discussing the subject, I know how NOT to bring up my kids up. Not saying that the methods are wrong, just not how I choose to do it
Dan
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When me and my wife were younger, and both skint working crap jobs, we decided one xmas to set a limit and only spend £50 on each others presents - actually worked really well as we had to make a lot more effort finding interesting things cheap rather than just going 'I'll have one of those, and one of those' etc...
As we both started earning more, and could afford more, we spent more and bought more expensive presents - only problem now is we've basically run out of things to buy each other, so are back down to about £50 worth of small presents again !
I think with kids though, there is no need to spend a fortune, they generally go off things so quickly that its not worth it. A football for a tenner will last them a couple of years, and they wont get bored with it - spend £250 on a minimoto and it'll be gathering dust in the garage in a couple of months.
Also, consider how many books ( remember them, heavy things with pages ) you can buy for the price of one X Box game, and they can learn something while still getting presents.
And in any case, they're kids ! what are they going to do ? give you a kicking cos they didnt get a new plasma TV for their bedroom and 20 pairs of Nikes ?
If they want loads of expensive stuff, send them up chimneys and they can earn their own money.
As we both started earning more, and could afford more, we spent more and bought more expensive presents - only problem now is we've basically run out of things to buy each other, so are back down to about £50 worth of small presents again !
I think with kids though, there is no need to spend a fortune, they generally go off things so quickly that its not worth it. A football for a tenner will last them a couple of years, and they wont get bored with it - spend £250 on a minimoto and it'll be gathering dust in the garage in a couple of months.
Also, consider how many books ( remember them, heavy things with pages ) you can buy for the price of one X Box game, and they can learn something while still getting presents.
And in any case, they're kids ! what are they going to do ? give you a kicking cos they didnt get a new plasma TV for their bedroom and 20 pairs of Nikes ?
If they want loads of expensive stuff, send them up chimneys and they can earn their own money.
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Yes xmas is a swear word, planning on solving the entire problem by just going away for the period and sending post cards as presents saying "Glad your not here" !
Richard
Richard
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Originally Posted by Brendan Hughes
Lets say that, for Christmas AND birthdays, I found that the price of the product was not really linked to the amount of fun that the child got out of it.
"Spend time thinking, not cash"
"Spend time thinking, not cash"
Very true in the case our young kids as we found out. I worry that this wuill change as they get older and more aware of advertising and peer pressure that this will change.
#14
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It really is nice to hear that there are alot of like-minded people out there!!
I was getting concerned that it was all becoming rather pointless.....
Kinda restores some of my faith in society....
Dan
I was getting concerned that it was all becoming rather pointless.....
Kinda restores some of my faith in society....
Dan
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Originally Posted by Paul Habgood
Very true in the case our young kids as we found out. I worry that this wuill change as they get older and more aware of advertising and peer pressure that this will change.
#16
when my kids were young they got 2nd hand or relevant cheap stuff 2 keep up with present trend 2 a limit....told them we had 2 send money 2 santa 2 help him out and that was why they couldnt have everything they wanted and why some poor children got nothing. Told them the truth asap ie no santa now they get token presents that mean something they are 11 and 15. Dont buy for adults at xmas as i think its a terrible rip off....other half a book or dvd or something similar
#17
The cost of the present is immaterial, just the amount of pleasure the child gets out of it is of course. No point in trying to impress everyone by the amount you spend.
The more presents you buy a child the less he will appreciate it, It all becomes too easy and he will soon become bored with it all. We never got any presents except at Christmas or birthdays since my parents could not afford it anyway. We always looked forward to getting them, got loads of pleasure from them, and also still had full respect and love for our parents.
Les
The more presents you buy a child the less he will appreciate it, It all becomes too easy and he will soon become bored with it all. We never got any presents except at Christmas or birthdays since my parents could not afford it anyway. We always looked forward to getting them, got loads of pleasure from them, and also still had full respect and love for our parents.
Les
#18
Originally Posted by rsarjantson
Yes xmas is a swear word, planning on solving the entire problem by just going away for the period and sending post cards as presents saying "Glad your not here" !
Richard
Richard
Mmmm - christmas bbq with mates on the beach.
#19
Originally Posted by Iwan
Mmmm - christmas bbq with mates on the beach.
Don't spoil your kids at Christmas - you're just storing up trouble for you and them in the future. Make sure they understand the value of presents rather than the cost of "things" at Christmas.
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