Every Monday i have to deal with a certain customer, every Monday he has another story to tell.



Every story involves him knowing a millionaire, him hanging around with film stars, him playing cricket with them, testing super cars, friends selling houses or setting up businesses, i can safely say every single Monday he comes out with something and you just have to nod and sound amazed at his incredible life. (If you see the guy its obviously rubbish so no idea why he does)



This Monday was the best one yet after he saw i had got my new Scooby STi. He was telling me his friend took his Sierra Cosworth to Cosworth for tuning and he tested it doing 235mph and makes my Scooby look slow.



Why do people do it? DO they believe it them selves if they lie enough?

 

used to have a bloke like that at work. he tied himself up with such a web of lies/bullmanure that every day he would contradict everything he had said previously. was very comical in a weird way. especially as he was my manager

 

lol.

I think that everyone must know some one like this.

My theory is, dont tell it if it aint true, because sooner or later some one will work out your lying, you will sound stupid and chances are you will **** up and contradict your self like you say.

Some right muppets around

 

Maybe theres just something wrong with his head?

 

Was his name 'Big Kenny'?

 

my cars a 20 li turbo c5 it done 0-250 in 10 secs off a cliff

 

IT COULD HAVE A McCLAREN ENGINE

 

jet engine

 

just punch him

 

I used to work with a bloke just like that, alway's telling us what he, his brother, or his mate's had done. In the end, all the rest of us would have a kind of secret sweepstake thing going, were we'd all put in a pound, and nominate a subject, and see what bull**** he'd come out with about the subject. Whoever could get him to bull**** the most on there chosen subject during our lunchbreak would win the money. He was such a compulsive liar, he could'nt work out that we were blatantly taking the p*ss out of him, all the time, he honestly thought we believed his amazing storie's. Some day's there'd be no outright winner, so we'd have a rollover, you could win up to £30 some day's.

 

or take him for a run and scare the **** out of him go on

 

or take him for a run and scare the **** out of him go on



and then punch him lol !!!!

 

Okay so a maclaren f1 was the pinacle of engineering a car designed from the ground up, certain models i believe were capable of 240mph (correct me if im wrong). A car with an f1 derived powerplant, a gold engine bay, ground sucking aerodynamics. Ford Sierra 235mph? ***** to that.

 

Lad at my place is really full of ****.
His best one was that he'd been out in his mate's 500bhp "rally"Scoob. Onto the A1 they went and before you know it they were doing 210mph
It gets better...................... The car has actually been clocked at a smidge under 320

I am talking mph not kph. We did ask him if he was getting mixed up but nope - it was deffo mph

 

hahaha!

Its amazing.

I think that people try to live through stories and other peoples lives to try and compensate for things they dont have and things they havnt experienced.

Or there just really sad people.

I will tell you what next mondays story is when i get back from seeing him! LOL.

Another good one was a friend of his was a security guard on an oil rig, he was paid £150k a year and as he hadnt been home for 3 years when he went home to his family they bought him a HUMMER and delivered it as a bonus present.

 

and when he wakes up tell him hes crashed his car at 235mph no worrys

 

he prolly has a small *****

 

I know a few guys full a u know wot but one guy popped out with the best other day

he seen a Evo 8 FQ450 at a salvage for 11k n it was light tap at front

First of all im nto much of an evo man myself by im sure there isnt anything above a FQ400

 

LOL Theres a guy where I work who used to have a bog standard 2.0L chavalier...tonight he told me *no word of a lie* that it had the engine out of a touring car.... Wow was I impressed!!

 

I think there is a car above the FQ400,its been tested as faster accelarating than a Zonda,cost 45k i think

 

I had to endure one of these loons for about 4 hours whilst waiting in the local casualty department with a broken arm a few years ago. I think it was a 190mph 'touring car spec' Ford Granada or something.

I just sat there wishing he'd die, or me.

 

"Engine out of a touring car" What was he touring the South of France.....

 

Met an elderly chap a few weeks ago who told me within 1 min of meeting him that he used to be in the SAS but wasn't allowed to talk about it. He then went on to tell me all about it.
I'd only gone round to quote him for a job.

 

Is he an NL activist?

Les

 

You are all very tolerent. Unless it is a situation where there is a good reason not to, I can't help help but pick people up on their lies. It's fascinating to see how far they will go before trying to bail out. And the look on their face when they realise they have chosen a subject about which you know infinately more than them...

 

Accidentally trip and flying headbutt him......should shut him up.

 

PMSL@ AD - very dry


posted before, but always makes me chuckle....

The most unbeleivable story I ever heard, was by a welder called Dennis I worked with in Cornwall. One day his boss sent him out to carry out a repair to a pylon somewhere in the middle of the desert in the middle east LOL

Unfortunately, when he got there his welder had broken down, this was apparently a special type of engine driven welder that straps to your back so you have all limbs free to scale the pylon. ok

Dennis then told us he tore the engine out of his land rover, fitted it to the welder, strapped it to his back ( complete with engine ), scaled the pylon and carried out the repair, thusly restoring power to half of the country.

obviousley, the land rover engine then had to be refitted so he could then get back to the workshop, all on his own BTW.

The bit that made me laugh, was when Dennis got back to the workshop, his boss had the cheek to say " what took you so ******* long?"

 

LMFAO @ mj, I doubt Id seriously keep a straight face if someone was telling me that...

 

Haha! Some of these are class.

As said further up the thread, i think we all know someone like that!

Having said that, i used to work with a guy who was clearly an alcoholic and would always be off on a monday morning, sometimes the whole day!
The best part about it was the excuse for not being in that he would come up with.
Now some of them were perfectly believeable; car broke down, car vandalised, feeling sick, got cold etc.. but sometimes he would make up the most ridiculous stories to cover his absence. Somr of the better ones were:

His parents washing machine having 'blown up' meaning he had to stand guard at the house for them till the engineer arrived to sort it.

His neighbours cat got run over so he stayed to comfort her.

His neighbour fell down the stairs (in her ground floor flat might i add) so he took her to hospital and they queue was huge.

His girlfriend had fallen and broken both her wrists (does happen, just unfortunate that i know his g/f and she's was with the solicitors doing the conveyancing on my house purchase....her colleagues were very surprised to hear her bad news and more surprised to see that she had clearly recoverd from the injury overnight!)

He had been mugged walking home and was still dizzy, and the mugger(s) took his mobile phone from him and then smashed it off the ground.....hmmm not the most profitable form of mugging i've heard of.

There are loads more but i can't remember them...if i do i'll post them.

These lies made going to work on a monday all worthwhile and we too ran a sweepstake on who, what, when and where his next piece of misfortune would take place.

James

 

lol nice... bet he wouldnt show you though. hehe