Australian bricklayer report

>******This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the
>******newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation
>******board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a
>******Darwin Award for sure.......
>
>******Dear Sir,
>
>******I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
>******Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the
>******cause of my accident.**You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust
>******the following details will be sufficient.
>
>******I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
>******alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my
>******work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed
>******later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry
>******the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a
>******pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth
>******floor.
>******Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
>******barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied
>******the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
>******You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh
>******135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly,
>******I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless
>******to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In
>******the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
>******proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the
>******fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed
>******in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I
>******continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right
>******hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
>******Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was
>******able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience
>******pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks
>******hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
>******Now devoid of the weight of the bricks,**that barrel weighed
>******approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can
>******imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In
>******the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This
>******accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
>******lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change
>******slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to
>******lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately
>******only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I
>******lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost
>******my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay
>******there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.
>******This explains the two broken legs.
>
>******I hope this answers your inquiry.
>

 

hahahaha

 

LOL

 

 

No one can be that stupid
Sorry it must be a female bricklayer

 

It always pays to check...

I first heard that story in about 1972.


M

 

Could this be the oldest "scooby in a lake" of all time

 

pmsl im honoured if its the oldest SIAL

 

pmsl

 

Chap called Victor Borge (sp?) used to do this skit in his stand up show around 1960. It was very, very funny then and still raises a laugh now.

But as Subarus weren't, I think, made then, may I suggest instead we call it "Datsun in a lake?"

SB

 

I was still at uni when I first saw that!

A classic non the less

 

Thanks for reminding me who it was I heard tell the story. The man's timing in the tell was perfect...


M

 

had to dig down into the memory banks for this one ....

...first recorded in the late 1950's by Gerard Hoffnung to an audience at ?Cambridge Uni

- pls note that piece of trivia is brought to you without the aid of an internet search

 

- almost right ..... it was at Oxford Uni

http://www.monologues.co.uk/Bricklayers_Story.htm

 

Gerard Hoffnung. Course it was.

Bothering me all last night because I *knew* I'd got it wrong but couldn't be arsed to turn the machine back on to check.

I have it on vinyl on the shelf and could probably make it available for people to hear if they wanted...

SB

 

I remember Chris Evans reading this out when he was on Radio 1, I almost died as I was laughing so hard while driving the car I couldn't see a bloody thing through the tears.

I had to pull over in the end... my sides were aching after that. Brilliant.

 

Its an old one but very good, even funnier when Peter Ustinov did it on the TV.

Les