Madjay

well is it or is it just what u think is second best? being the young pup that i am i dunno, if i'm going for what is sensible or what i think i can actually get rather that what i actually want.

any comments

Katana

Winning is everything dude. Its like choosing the woman you want to be with and not take whatever that comes to you first.

Madjay

yeah but is the "woman" you want the woman u actually want or is it just what you "think" you want.

remember when u where a kid and u really wanted that action man or what not and when u got it u realised it was completely crap, thats what im getting at. what if what you are going for ends up to be a completely crap waste of time. AND by the time u've realised it u cant do nowt about it!

Katana

Sounds like 90% of my relationships mate.

brett555

Heh .. you could have an amazing woman ... but still want another woman aswell ..... never happy with what we have . ..

err... apart from me

Katana

I know what you mean. When I was young, I always wanted an older woman (ex wife). Now that I'm more "matured" I like younger women like my current girl..

Madjay

its all boils down to women doesnt it im more talking about life in general

scoobypreza

ok......
You can spend half your life wondering what if.......
But really all you can do is make the best choice / decision at the time and respond to that.
Dunno if it's true but don’t they say....... better to regret something you did than something you didn't.
Saying that though isn't it often the case don’t know what you have till you've lost it.
Ok so now I'm confusing myself never mind anyone else!!!

Has anyone seen the film High Fidelity ??
If I understood it correctly....
There is a bit in that film when the guy realises that all his life he has been searching for his fantasy.
He has this image of some amazing woman who will leave only her sexy thongs lying around the house.... when infact reality brings our grotty pants out on the radiator!!
Anyway basically he realises chasing his fantasy is what is stopping him from achieving a happy reality.
It dawns on him that he really wants the girl with the grotty pants because that’s what real life is all about. Taking the good bits with the not so good bits.

You can chase a fantasy life, or think the grass is greener on the other side, but at the end of the day what you have can be made into the best for you.
There will always be situations when you think ...
he's got a better life than me ..... or if only I could have this job ...... or if I lived there my life would be.....
But I bet if you look at your life and the choices you've made so far your probably doing ok and yeah a few changes here and there is probably a good thing.
But dont torment yourself with too much thinking... if only .... what if....
Have confidence in the choices you've made and make the most of what you've got now, and modify that as and when you need to.

rant over!

Ok that probably makes no sense to anyone else and I'm almost about to delete it all but what the hec it's only my opinion.
I'm only a woman anyway so what do I know lmao

Hope I haven't made things worse!
cath
mrs.scoobypreza

adpd

Yes... going for second best is second best (but to make things a little complicated, you have achieved your goals by attaining that which you aimed for)

Brit_in_Japan

A friend of mine says "buy cheap, buy twice". That doesn't mean pay over the odds, it means if you really want something, don't choose second best because you can't afford it at the time. You will only be disatisfied and you will have to spend more in the long run to get what you should have had in the first place. Better to wait and get what you really want.

Of course what your heart desires must be obtainable, otherwise you'll constantly be miserable with what you have.

Madjay

what if what u want say is simple enough nothing over elaborate but it for u in unachievable due to matters beyond your control? does this mean u will live an unforfilled life?

Neverguess

I agree with the High Fidelity Theory. It is a classic case of grass is always greener, then you relise its not and you didn't have second best all along. Just didn't realise what you wanted!!

As you get older though you make choices based on knowing what you don't want....and life is good

Brit_in_Japan

If it's unachievable because of matters beyond your control, it's unachievable. It's not an option. Full stop. Move on. Your "second best" is really your best option because the other in unachievable. It's just a question of how you look at it.