Brilliant reddit sex thread (NSFW I guess)
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From: On a small Island near France
Brilliant reddit sex thread (NSFW I guess)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/c...yone_has_ever/
No photos, all text, the stories are funny, but some of the comments are brilliant
I'll warn the uptight Scooby massive not to bother, it's rude, crude and I'm sure offends your sensitive little minds
No photos, all text, the stories are funny, but some of the comments are brilliant
I'll warn the uptight Scooby massive not to bother, it's rude, crude and I'm sure offends your sensitive little minds
Thread Starter
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (6)
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 14,661
Likes: 5
From: On a small Island near France
[–]TheAnsweringMachine
Someone sucked one of my ***** once. Like, vacuum sucked. I didn't like it.
[–]the_last_fartbender
Did you find out who it was?
****ing LOL
Someone sucked one of my ***** once. Like, vacuum sucked. I didn't like it.
[–]the_last_fartbender
Did you find out who it was?
****ing LOL
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Some cracking replies
It's a bit difficult to read though
I spotted a link to another funny thread https://m.reddit.com/r/copypasta/com...with_scat_sex/
It's a bit difficult to read though
I spotted a link to another funny thread https://m.reddit.com/r/copypasta/com...with_scat_sex/
ObliterateMeBaby
Way late to the party but whatever. It was Valentine's day and I was single, early 20's and felt like I NEEDED a date or somehow I wouldn't be validated for breathing or whatever. So I hook up with this guy from a dating site. He's a volunteer firefighter so he's gotta he a good guy, right? I go to his place. We both know why I'm there so we pretty immediately start making out. Things get hot and heavy. I lose my shirt, he loses his pants and then I'm sucking his dick while he's kneeling over me. He guides my hand to his ***. (Okay, cool) Then guides my fingers between his cheeks. (Okay? I know guys can dig it but first time??) Then he grabs this like, gallon jug of ky, slathers my hand in it, turns his back to me and guides my fingers in his ***. (Wtf?)
He's awkwardly fingering me while first my fingers, then my knuckles, then my whole hand slides in his ******* while reruns of Law & Order play on his tv.
I stare, dumbfounded, as he ****s himself with my arm, all thought of him doing anything to me forgotten.
He's jerking himself, my forearm is in his ***, my eyes flicking between the tv and this scene of my arm being raped, thinking "what the **** have I gotten into!".
Just as he's getting ready to ***, he turns toward me, wrenching my arm jammed in his *** with him and **** on my face. Then he releases my arm from this ****ing gaping finger cuff, hands me a crusty towel to clean myself off with and retreats to the bathroom.
Still dumbfounded, I wipe my face and arm, gather my **** and race out the door. Afterward, I meet with a friend at a bar, downing shot after shot, reliving this experience in my head.
Never much cared for valentine's day after that.
Tl;dr Arm ****ed a random dude b/c I didn't want to be alone on Valentine's day.
Way late to the party but whatever. It was Valentine's day and I was single, early 20's and felt like I NEEDED a date or somehow I wouldn't be validated for breathing or whatever. So I hook up with this guy from a dating site. He's a volunteer firefighter so he's gotta he a good guy, right? I go to his place. We both know why I'm there so we pretty immediately start making out. Things get hot and heavy. I lose my shirt, he loses his pants and then I'm sucking his dick while he's kneeling over me. He guides my hand to his ***. (Okay, cool) Then guides my fingers between his cheeks. (Okay? I know guys can dig it but first time??) Then he grabs this like, gallon jug of ky, slathers my hand in it, turns his back to me and guides my fingers in his ***. (Wtf?)
He's awkwardly fingering me while first my fingers, then my knuckles, then my whole hand slides in his ******* while reruns of Law & Order play on his tv.
I stare, dumbfounded, as he ****s himself with my arm, all thought of him doing anything to me forgotten.
He's jerking himself, my forearm is in his ***, my eyes flicking between the tv and this scene of my arm being raped, thinking "what the **** have I gotten into!".
Just as he's getting ready to ***, he turns toward me, wrenching my arm jammed in his *** with him and **** on my face. Then he releases my arm from this ****ing gaping finger cuff, hands me a crusty towel to clean myself off with and retreats to the bathroom.
Still dumbfounded, I wipe my face and arm, gather my **** and race out the door. Afterward, I meet with a friend at a bar, downing shot after shot, reliving this experience in my head.
Never much cared for valentine's day after that.
Tl;dr Arm ****ed a random dude b/c I didn't want to be alone on Valentine's day.
Thread Starter
Scooby Regular
iTrader: (6)
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 14,661
Likes: 5
From: On a small Island near France
Some cracking replies
It's a bit difficult to read though
I spotted a link to another funny thread https://m.reddit.com/r/copypasta/com...with_scat_sex/
It's a bit difficult to read though
I spotted a link to another funny thread https://m.reddit.com/r/copypasta/com...with_scat_sex/
A girl I was dating a few years back jiggled the lock on the bathroom door while I was dropping a deuce, let herself into the room and shut the door behind her, and asked if she could suck my dick while I took a **** because she'd always wanted to try that.
Scooby Regular
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 2,835
Likes: 28
From: Shropshire
Yeah - I hate it - the way it tiers everything into +55 more child replies, or Load more Comments & stuff like that - its crap.
I guess its because it moves fast (a bit like the inverse of ScoobyNet - hahahaha), but yeah I find it really doesn't flow sometimes... it will never catch on ;o)
Great thread thou - I,ve seen some crackers ones on that sex subreddit before now..... LOL
Occasionally browse in if I'm bored for a glimpse on the wild side....
)
I guess its because it moves fast (a bit like the inverse of ScoobyNet - hahahaha), but yeah I find it really doesn't flow sometimes... it will never catch on ;o)
Great thread thou - I,ve seen some crackers ones on that sex subreddit before now..... LOL
Occasionally browse in if I'm bored for a glimpse on the wild side....
)
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