Hey guys, well our daughter left college and started work a few months back. When she decided to leave and start working she knew that she'd have to pay us some sort of 'keep' as we believe in paying your way. Anyways she's had long enough not paying anything so we feel nows the time to bring it up again.

Question is do you take 'keep' and if so what sort of amount do you take? Do you take a small percentage or just a fixed sum?

Just to add I'm not after much, just a token gesture so that she's paying her way. After all when she moves out she won't be living for free.

 

All through their school years I told our two that as soon as they started earning we would be taking 10% of their top line as board & lodgings. MrsD always told them not to worry, she won't be doing that.

True to her word she didn't, she hit them for 15%

It must be a good deal because the lad is 27 and he still hasn't fecked off

 

When I was making £75/week they took £25 for 'keep'. Not long-lived as I moved out at 17 anyway.
I expect that what they see as acceptable after the event will be seen as extortion now. With age comes wisdom, and all that.

 

That was quite the chunk! I was paying £20/wk when I was earning circa £100/wk, but yeah its true with age does come wisdom!

 

I used to pay £200 a month when I was working and living with my parents.

 

Really! Were you earning a lot?

 

Average. I thought £200 was quite reasonable to be honest! You could say that on average you will eat £30 worth of food a week/£120 a month including toiletries and stuff too.

 

It'll always be a token gesture unless you run your house like Belsen, so to have any meaning it has to at least 'hurt' a bit.

Therefore anything less than 20% is pointless. I'd cap it at £75/week if they are on a decent wack.

 

In 1987 I was sixteen and earning £100 pw and paid £25 pw.

My daughter now 19yo pays the same.

 

£300 a month or pack up and **** off
My daughter is 14 and my Mrs says she's never leaving........oh ******* really

 

I was getting £52 a week when I was 16 and gave £25 a week to my mum, bought 24 bottles of beer for £5, stuck £5/10 in to my RS50 and haven't a clue what I did with the rest.

 

When I was earning £25 a weel YTS I had to pay £10 to my mum, but my old man would still give me money to go out of a saturday, typically at least a tenner. When I got a better job earning more than my old man, I gave £20 a week, that was almost 30yrs ago mind, but then I moved out soon after that anyway at about 19yrs old, still ended up going back a couple of times for a few months at a time and generally didn't pay anything but I bought my own food and took care of myself by then anyway, so wasn't really eating any hay.

When my lad grows up, I'll make him pay his way if he doesn't move out, as I think it preps you for the real world, and I ain't made of money.

 

Good lad.


My kid finished her Uni last year, went travelling for months after that, and got bored off her tears when she got back last November. So, she secured herself a job in December and started from Jan this year. She gets paid quite handsomely, and I only started to see 200 quid a month from this May on. Before that, it was some expensive perfume or something as a 'Thank you' gesture to me, but then somehow she herself started this 'keep' business, I never asked her for it. I know that she tries her best to forget it most times but I reckon her frequency to Waitrose for 10-quiddo salad bowl on top of my home-cooked healthy meals ****** her conscience.

It will stop from next Jan, as someone is going travelling again. I'll miss my 200 quid a month, then.

I know she can give me more towards our cats or something. She's saving for her travels, which I do understand. So I let her off with just 200 quid a month.

 

This is kinda the truth, back before all this techy-crap that everybody thinks they need now.
Kids are mentally soft nowadays because they have it way too easy. It may be a bit of a cliche but there is a lot to be said for 'character building' and not cossetting, although this is a job made much harder if all the other parents are sparing the rod.

 

Our rule with our kids was 30% of whatever they brought home.
As said if it doesn't hurt their pocket just a little then you're not being honest with them about what it costs to live day to day. It's part of growing up.

 

Apart from having to put up with your parents (which I never liked but their house, their rules) living at home is a right cushy number.
No washing up.
No laundry.
No cooking.
No bills.
No cleaning.
No responsibility.

When they leave I'd want to be confident they're tough enough not to come back after handouts indefinitely. Paying 'keep' is part of that process and why it should have some meaning.

 

I was getting 27.50 a week when i was 17 YTS
Mother took 20 quid of it, the 7.50 went on petrol in the fizzy...the tank only took about a quids worth tho lol

 

I got away quite lightly, I was only paying £30 a week when I was 19. I was earning £18k-£20k IIRC, that was 20 years ago

I would only charge my son a similar amount now to be honest.

The way I see it, the more rent they pay, the longer they'll be there saving for a deposit. Or you could charge them a lot and save it for that very purpose.

 

See, my parents fcuked off to the carribean and retired when I was 17, I didnt want to go, so got off my ****, put myself through my final apprenticeship exams (paid for myself) went out and got a job for 19k a year and got my own place over here....

 

I used to pay £120 per month to my parents when I lived at home in the late 80's/early 90s and I only took home about £600 per month. I only did that for 3 years before I got my own place though.

Then I realised what the real cost of living was all about

 

I've got a few years to worry about this (my son is almost 2) but the way I see it happening is to charge some amount of money per month, and then when he moves out, surprise him by giving it to him to pay for furnishings/deposit etc. (a surprise so that he isn't expecting and therefore relying on it upon moving out).

Has anyone here done this? Did it work out as you thought?

 

I find it really cute that the little hands that used to hold your finger now give out some little money to you from the cash point- in order to cater towards their upkeep, awww! So heart warming! Not that I ever expected that from any of my two kids, but now it has started to happen to me, I find it quite amusing and emotional at the same time.

My older one moved to his dad at 17. He paid him quite a bit as 'keep', because he secured a decent apprenticeship to begin with. Now he has a decent job, pays his mortgage and bills and all that. Dad has always been 'keep' minded, but I've never been bothered about this 'keep' tradition. I'll never say 'no' to 200 quid a week, mind. TBH more 'keep' will be the merrier! Not going to say 'no' at all to it when I know that they have money to splash out on their nights out, music festivals, eating out, travelling the world, buying nice clothes, shopping in expensive places.... etc. etc. bleddy etc.!

Just love the idiots, I do! They even take us out now, and pay the whole bill. Fantastic.

 

Some interesting views!
I'm thinking of giving her a choice - either paying 'full keep' say 20% of her wage. Or she could give me say 30% and I'll put half of that in a savings account (for a deposit on a house) meaning the 'reduced keep' will only be 15%....... Or something like that anyway!

 

Sounds fair to me..........

 

Can't remember exactly how much I paid when I got my first 'proper' job at 17, think it was around a third of my weekly wages, which at the time I hated but is actually quite fair IMO.
Then when I went through a messy break-up when I was around 22, I moved back home to my Dad's and gave him £300 p/m, which was around a quarter of my wages. However, he was fine with that as I was also still paying half the mortgage on previously mentioned break-up...

 

Bloody hell, sounds like you grew up in hotel paradisio My mum had me cooking, cleaning, doing my own washing and ironing by the time I was 10yrs old, not to mention the 20 cups of tea I had to make for her a day.

No wonder people don't move out of their parents houses, their living la vida loca, I couldn't wait to get my own place when I was 17. That relationship did break down a couple of years later mind, and it was back to mum and dads for a few months till I got back on my feet, then I was off again.

 

Fixed price for me of £200 a month when at home. That was 10 years ago but I think that was fair for the 'service' and food I got from my old dear.

A percentage is like taxing your own kids which is not really right imo.

 

A fixed rate is fine if you can afford it on a regular basis. It's not so good if you establish a rate of £200 a month and they only brought home £350 that month.
Anyway, what's wrong with teaching them about taxes?

 

My eldest has just started at college but we've already planted the seed that once he leaves and starts earning money, he'll be paying us board and lodgings. Not sure how much yet as I don't know how much he'll be earning (assuming he gets a job at some point).

If he moans about it we've said he can always move out.

In addition to that we've put away £20k to help towards a house deposit. Even if he doesn't move out, we've suggested he buys a house and rents it out and we may put some further money aside from any b&l that he pays us to help with that. The important bit is that he understands that he has to pay his way.

 

Stayed with my inlaws for 2 years while we saved for a house.
Only deal was I paid for line rental and broadband.
Proceeded to build a 400bhp impreza and go on 3 foreign holidays a year and really didn't save very much at all.
Did save enough for a 10% deposit though and bought a wee 2 bed semi.