As normal ,I farted this morning as I woke up-Its the alarm clock for the missus , but this time I followed through .
**** it I thought , I have shi t myself .
I probed my pajama bottoms and my fingers immersed in a wet horrible mess.
I brought my fingers up to my nose and feared the worse - But no to my amazement not ****!
On closer inspection, it turns out to be a mountain of **** mucous - not nice , but better than ****.
Any suggestions are welcome.

 

Tell your wife to use a smaller strapon

 

I doubt it was his wife or a strap on.

 

lmao, hack attack

 

WTF

 

Good grief........

 

Thanks for that , almost lunchtime as well.

 

It'll just be the lube from last night

< carries on eating Brie baggette >

 

it's ok, it's just your body getting ready for its next **** thrashing.

 

You wear pajamas to bed? Ha gay.

 

I am still trying to work out what the punch line is

 

The moral of the story is, don't get your fingers into too many pies... especially **** ones.

 

Cream Pie

 

Well yes, but in his case mucus pie.

 

Given the content of some of his posts on here it's probably what's left of his brain being ejected from where he seems to keep it!

 

 

I'm just gonna say what everyone is thinking:
"This thread is useless without pictures"...............

 

Oh god no, please

 

I can't help but read that in a Glaswegian accent thanks to Bluestone 42.

 

I'm not sure what suggestions you are looking for, if it is a serious answer then it is common with some forms of trauma (yes, what most of the people above are alluding to!) or if you are constipated. It is the way the body self lubricates to remove any faecal (or otherwise!) matter that may be stuck.

If it carries on and you have other symptoms (lumps, diarrhea etc..) then is can also be a sign of cancer.

 

Euugh, no thanks. On the very remote off-chance this isn't a case of the OP's computer or account being compromised, I sure as hell wouldn't want to see graphical evidence of what's described in the thread launch.

 

maybe your missus is ******* with you and stuck some clear hair gel down the back of your pants as payback for all your "alarm calls"

 

Colitus?

 

Probably not the best thread to start reading whilst eating my lunch ! Peanut butter is never gonna taste the same again.

 

Confucious say, "Man who goes to bed with itchy bottom, wakes up with smelly finger."

 

Well since there is two of them, all they need now is one cup.......

 

Is this really what SN has become?

 

Yarp, banal schoolboy humour, yarp

 

In all seriousness, this could be a sign of bowel cancer ...

 

true

although "**** mucous" is not something I would want to put into google (especially the image search function)