One for the single dads on here.......
05 May 2015, 12:33 PM
#1
One for the single dads on here.......
Right guys, ive got 2 kids with 1 woman, split about 3 yrs ago, see my girls for half the month so no complaints 
I met a woman about 18 mths ago, we got on well, dated, were together about a year, she fell pregnant, all was good then booom, hormones kick in (so she says) she ends things with me and has the emotions of a rock (she has 2 kids from previous relationships)
my daughter is due to be born in August.
My question, how difficult can she make things for me as in not seeing my daughter ?
so far, im not allowed in the birth room
ive had no say over the chosen name and ive been told i should be thankful that i see my daughter at all let alone 3 or 4 times a week (which is what i suggested)
Anyone else been in similair scenarios ? ive done some googling but nothing really is consistant.
even tho ive done nothing wrong, im always trying to show her im not going anywhere and will always be here, i have an old ford focus im giving her as her car will fail its mot next week, some say im a mug but im just trying to keep things amicable with her (she didnt ask for the car, i offered)
cheers all
I met a woman about 18 mths ago, we got on well, dated, were together about a year, she fell pregnant, all was good then booom, hormones kick in (so she says) she ends things with me and has the emotions of a rock (she has 2 kids from previous relationships)
my daughter is due to be born in August.
My question, how difficult can she make things for me as in not seeing my daughter ?
so far, im not allowed in the birth room
ive had no say over the chosen name and ive been told i should be thankful that i see my daughter at all let alone 3 or 4 times a week (which is what i suggested)Anyone else been in similair scenarios ? ive done some googling but nothing really is consistant.
even tho ive done nothing wrong, im always trying to show her im not going anywhere and will always be here, i have an old ford focus im giving her as her car will fail its mot next week, some say im a mug but im just trying to keep things amicable with her (she didnt ask for the car, i offered)
cheers all
05 May 2015, 01:36 PM
#4
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Without writing an essay, she can do what the heck she likes.
If you aren't on the birth certificate (she doesn't need you for that) then you won't have the all important parental responsibility. Without that you can't take her to court for access. Start bribing. Now.
If you aren't on the birth certificate (she doesn't need you for that) then you won't have the all important parental responsibility. Without that you can't take her to court for access. Start bribing. Now.
05 May 2015, 01:55 PM
#6
Yeah, the birth certificate is the next obstacle, im hoping to be on it, havent mentioned it yet as dont want the subject to come up, will hopefully just turn up to register etc, but, you can apply to the courts for parental responsibiltiy if the mother doesnt name you on the birth certificate, but thats another story i hope.
Hence me giving her this old focus is a small step to showing people im the better person, not many ex`s would give them a car lol (it only cost me £300, it ownt win any beauty prices ha)
Hence me giving her this old focus is a small step to showing people im the better person, not many ex`s would give them a car lol (it only cost me £300, it ownt win any beauty prices ha)
05 May 2015, 04:26 PM
#7
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05 May 2015, 05:57 PM
#9
Just looking at this from another tangent: If your name isn't on the birth certificate and you aren't allowed access. Does that mean you aren't liable for any child mainetance and can tell the CSA to go and do one?
I'm not implying anything here really, but if you aren't going to be allowed to see the child, would you be still be happy to pay maintenance?
I'm not implying anything here really, but if you aren't going to be allowed to see the child, would you be still be happy to pay maintenance?
05 May 2015, 06:33 PM
#10
Just looking at this from another tangent: If your name isn't on the birth certificate and you aren't allowed access. Does that mean you aren't liable for any child mainetance and can tell the CSA to go and do one?
I'm not implying anything here really, but if you aren't going to be allowed to see the child, would you be still be happy to pay maintenance?
I'm not implying anything here really, but if you aren't going to be allowed to see the child, would you be still be happy to pay maintenance?
Over the years I've paid the csa thousands plus I still gave my kids what they asked for ....fecking hate the csa but I no longer pay them.
Take her to court fella and fight for the kiddie , just because she is a vindictive b1tch it isn't the kiddies fault
I think you need to start a group up with lozgti
Good luck with it all
........and before anyone gets in with it....
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**** all her mates ......but rubber it up before the csa nail you
05 May 2015, 07:10 PM
#11
Ha cheers guys, yeah, if your not on the birth certificate the csa cant chase you unless the mother declares you are the kid and they then demand a paternity test.
im hoping when my daughter is born she will mellow and it will all be ok, was just seeing if others had similair experiences , oh if you saw most of her mates, ******** them is a no no for sure !!!! ha
im hoping when my daughter is born she will mellow and it will all be ok, was just seeing if others had similair experiences , oh if you saw most of her mates, ******** them is a no no for sure !!!! ha
05 May 2015, 07:52 PM
#13
I'm sure there are a few on here that could spare a couple of minutes to go check if it is a blank space
05 May 2015, 08:25 PM
#15
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But that is crazy, if paternity is known, which I accept may not always be the case (and we have DNA for disputes)
It should be put down - and the father, hopefully willingly, should be required to accept responsibility
And the mother should defiantly not be allowed to play "silly buggers" with the child's fatherhood/parentage
It should be put down - and the father, hopefully willingly, should be required to accept responsibility
And the mother should defiantly not be allowed to play "silly buggers" with the child's fatherhood/parentage
05 May 2015, 08:33 PM
#16
This is the problem, the mother holds all the cards, when asked when registering the child, is the father known, if she is tapped in the head (like my ex) she can legally say not known, even if i phoned up the day before (if i knew when she was being registered) and said i want to be on the birth certificate, means nothing !
05 May 2015, 09:18 PM
#20
Honestly,all the best of luck
You are the Dad!!
Its rubbish and unfair .Hope it all works it out
You are the Dad!!
Its rubbish and unfair .Hope it all works it out
Last edited by lozgti1; 05 May 2015 at 09:19 PM.
05 May 2015, 11:46 PM
#22
Nearly didn't look at this thread, as I am a dad but not a single dad, then read the first two posters useful comments about not having kids.
Yes, the mother will hold most of the cards, but on the flip side there are many blokes out there that are complete ***** (not suggesting you are, but the father of my niece is) so they do need some protection.
Women do have, from my experience, memories like elephants. In your situation I would expect the mother of your child to remember every single fvck up that you make when it comes to your child or your parenting skills. Us blokes tend not to note everything down in such a manner, but it might be an idea to keep some sort of log or diary of how you are treated by the mother of your child, or any fvck ups that she may make, how she treats her kids, in order to have some ammo readily available if it comes to any court proceedings.
Yes, the mother will hold most of the cards, but on the flip side there are many blokes out there that are complete ***** (not suggesting you are, but the father of my niece is) so they do need some protection.
Women do have, from my experience, memories like elephants. In your situation I would expect the mother of your child to remember every single fvck up that you make when it comes to your child or your parenting skills. Us blokes tend not to note everything down in such a manner, but it might be an idea to keep some sort of log or diary of how you are treated by the mother of your child, or any fvck ups that she may make, how she treats her kids, in order to have some ammo readily available if it comes to any court proceedings.
06 May 2015, 12:21 AM
#23
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Us blokes tend not to note everything down in such a manner, but it might be an idea to keep some sort of log or diary of how you are treated by the mother of your child, or any fvck ups that she may make, how she treats her kids, in order to have some ammo readily available if it comes to any court proceedings.
06 May 2015, 12:37 PM
#26
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Jokes apart, very sorry to know what OP is going through. He should have every right to be known as her child's father and to be able to see her.
I wonder what sort of people has the mother got around her. Aren't they telling her that she's acting very irrational, and should behave better? Something is obviously not right with her, but her well-wishers can work on that, which could help the OP with his right to be her daughter's dad.
Reasons could be any, for her to behave like this, but the father should have every right to know his daughter. Everyone slags off absent father, but here, when a father wants to be present, he's being pushed out. So wrong!
OP, don't get too anxious. Hopefully after your baby's birth it may all get sorted for you. Not nice not to be involved, but let her get on with the birth room and name. Be prepared but don't assume that she won't want you on the birth cert and refrain you from seeing the child. She may feel differently after the birth of the child. Hope she starts thinking straight and understands that not knowing the father can be very damaging for the child.
Good luck.
06 May 2015, 05:05 PM
#27
Hah!
He is just her Dad and will adore her. Whatever awkwardness goes on in the world of adults :-)
Funny old world
He is just her Dad and will adore her. Whatever awkwardness goes on in the world of adults :-)
Funny old world
06 May 2015, 09:42 PM
#28
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I know what you mean, Loz. You're right. He'll always adore his child. One day, when the child knows what's what, she will adore him, too. Nothing will be able to stop that. The problem is that so many valuable years of a child's life may get spent missing his/her dad due to all this adult ego clash milarky that he/she may grow up with a messy head; only to repeat the cycle. Parents, as adults, really need to sort it with least fights but more understanding. A torn child is a torn adult.
07 May 2015, 01:26 PM
#30
It could be LOL, but she maybe in for a shock:
I know someone who used to work for B'ham city's council housing department...and they are basically fobbing folk off left right and centre. Her being front-line has faced all sorts from all walks of life, and indeed there were people being turned away who openly admited that they had children purely to get a better council house! You can imagine the dramatics involved - cross between Jez Kyle and Eastenders!
Last edited by ALi-B; 07 May 2015 at 01:28 PM.