Me (looking pregnant with twins), my Mrs to be and brother are on the front page of the S****horpe Telegraph today

right place, wrong time

Time to loose some pounds or buy bigger t-shirts

 

Depending on what the headline said it's either a good or a bad thing

 

This one???

 

Ywp, 14.5 stone of man beast

In fairness I was puffing my chest out to stretch my back - honestly

 

No you weren't............

Don't EVER mock my little gut again, man-mountain!

 

I can see how you got your user name...

 

Ha ha - fcukin ha, let the jokes roll.

I bet theres a few guys on here sat behind their screens going "thank god I'm not the only chubby member"

Trust me, I've heard them all.

 

 

Where on earth are you from?
We're from England
Where you come from
Do you put the kettle on?
Kick it
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Bonjour
Nah Nah Nah
Monsieur
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah Nah
We're England
We're gonna score one more than you
England!
Can I introduce you please
To a lump of Cheddar Cheese
Knit one, Pearl one
Drop one, Curl one
Kick it
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah Nah
We're England
We're gonna score one more than you
England!
Me and me Mum and me Dad and me Gran
We're off to Waterloo
Me and me Mum and me Dad and me Gran
And a bucket of Vindaloo
Bucket!
Vindaloo
Vindaloo
Vindaloo
Vindaloo
Vindaloo Nah Nah
Vindaloo
Vindaloo
Vindaloo
Vindaloo Nah Nah
Vindaloo
Vindaloo
And we all like Vindaloo
We're England
We're gonna score one more than you
England!
Nah Nah Nah
Vindaloo
Nah Nah Nah
Vindaloo
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Vindaloo
Nah Nah Nah
Vindaloo
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah
Vindaloo
Vindaloo
And we all like Vindaloo
We're England
We're gonna score one more than you
England!
Nah Nah Nah
Vindaloo
Nah Nah Nah
Vindaloo
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah
Vindaloo
Nah Nah Nah
Vindaloo
Nah Nah Nah
Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah
Vindaloo
Vindaloo
And we all like Vindaloo
We're England
We're gonna score one more than you
England!!

 

By the lack of stuffed full carrier bags i guess you are on you way to the local pie shop

 

any pictures of your misses in that wag thread?

 

 

Sorry COB, couldnt resist, thats nowt a coupel of months of being careful couldnt shift, Im back on my programme after a week in the states, a week in Turkey and generally falling off the wagon, I lost a stone and a half, put some back on bit know what needs to be done.

 

And here's COB doing a gig: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhCnrMl-Caw

 

 

Not another go at COB's girth, but this is the only at B4stard song to be used.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTfZCg6zj9M

 

Must be chocolate_o_buscuit from now on....

YFB !

Are you the reason Jeff needs all that extra torque ?

LOL

dunx ( 5'11" vs 162 lbs )

 

Edited for accuracy, moff to specsavers

 

Really, he must get around, I thought he was fronting this lot... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6fQnTyEniM

 

Keep up the good work lads

Jacko, it's a Utd top by the way

 

Just the one top, not two sewn together?

 

Cracked me up, that did

 

Not enough thats for sure

Must be something in the air because I've put on a fair chunk of weight over the last 18 months.

 

Do you find it a problem reading the song titles at a gig COB?

Les

 

No offence taken from someone who can't (or won't) use their original username

 

You called?

 

+1 and i always prefer to think that it takes a big hammer to pound in a long, thick nail (if you get my drift)

 

He'll eat your pies, he'll tell you lies,
You wouldn't believe that fat *******'s size
His massive gut is forty foot, it goes dark when he walks in the pub
His buttocks part, you'll smell his farts,
He's so fat, he can't wipe his own ****.
So now you've heard about the ugly turd,
He's a virgin and he's never had a bird
Does anyone know he's gay? He goes round spreading AIDs.
(We haven't got a clue where the fat ****er is)
Has anyone seen him eat? He's never seen his feet.
The fat *******.

Five hundred pounds, he's very round,
But he gets taller when he lies on the ground
He busts his flies, but he can't hide,
Coz he's too big, too fat and too ****ing wide

Can anyone guess his weight? That was his fourteenth plate
(We haven't got a clue where the fat ****er is)
His backside blubbers about, cleavage peeping out
The fat *******
.
.
.
.
Sung to THe Sweet Blockbuster tune

 

I'd be more concerned about that HUGE paper cup!

PS I'm sure it's just a trick of the light COB ..or maybe the glare off your head?