I agreed to go shopping with her indoors tomorrow I'm already regretting it Any advice on how to get out of it would be appreciated, also if I have to go how do I make the experience enjoyable?

I hate shopping

 

What sort of shopping, supermarket shopping or shopping shopping?

In the supermarket I find drifting the trolley round all the corners helps immensely!

If it's shopping shopping, I'd recommend the sudden loss of a leg!

Good luck

 

go and perve! It passes the time

 

I tried drifting the trolly once and hit old people with it Going to the garage now to find the hacksaw

 

Hitting old people only attracts 25 bonus points, if you can deck a small child it's 50

 

I usually do but she gives me daggers when I comment on the fit chicks, I can't keep my mouth shut when I see a fit babe lol I tend to just unintentionally say 'check the **** on her!' etc and get in trouble for doing so

 

if its foody shopping, go .. then once there head for the detergent aisle, loosen the tops on all the liquid bottles.. then watch the drifting trollies in full effect !

 

Now I'm on a mission!

 

I could also fling packets of condoms in to old peoples trolleys too Maybe this shopping trip could be fun

 

We used to play games - discussing whether people we saw did a particular 'act'.(you can decide this before you go).

'Do we need baked beans' takes a whole new meaning when asked in this context. Ha ha that way you can still eye up the fit girls and comment about them........but she can too though

 

A bloke and a fierce looking Mrs's trolley would be better. Then you can track them round the store to the till. Voila! All hell will break loose.

 

Naughty!!!

 

or if you see one of those bottle 'security tags' that some fekker has slipped off its home (and got away with the bottle) see if you can 'lose ' it on someone (in their hood or something )funny when they go to leave the store..

 

I think we should set him a challenge.

In the fierce bird and lame blokes trolley you need to deposit :

* Condoms
* KY Jelly
* Crate of Stella
* Top shelf publication

any more??

 

Whipped cream?

 

LMAO at some of the suggestions I might just say to her indoors that I need to go to the bank and go Urban sprinting (if you dunno what urban sprinting is, google it ) instead, although I'm kinda unfit so I'll only choose shops with fatties as security

 

https://www.scoobynet.com/non-scooby...sprinting.html

 

I saw that when it was on TV - brilliant

Altho the bit where he shouts in the burger bar is probably overdubbed

 

Eat a large Sprout Vindaloo several hours before and have fun dropping your guts and scuttling off to watch the aftermath, old ladies are the best as they are pretty dozy and everybody blames them.

 

Ensure that a large pack of doughnuts falls into your trolly. Deny all knowledge of it at the checkout.

 

I'd bat you around the ear

 

People watching is great! Yesterday we saw 'James May meets Frank Gallagher' and some dopey wench with her ***** hanging out, they really looked those plastic ones that Gazza used to wear!

 

Well I'm back and it was Hell, millions of wrinkly oldies walking at a snails pace, screaming brats, Neds, queues etc etc! Never again

On the plus side there was a fair few bits of fanny to get an eye full of and I got a little RC helicopter from Maplin

 

....and that was just you!

 

I dunno how you wummen can do shopping like that every week!

 

You should have waited 'til next week, when they're back at school!

 

True but they wanted to spend their xmas money.

 

Shopping, fills me with dread every time I hear the word!