tony de wonderful

Work is a grim necessity for most people, but of course some people have a huge amount of their 'identity' invested in their job or career; I can see it in some of my friends, pride and ego all dependent upon their status at work. Some are very successful which is natural when failure would lead to such 'ego loss'. They have to keep running but don't know this.

hodgy0_2

A lot of men seem to feel the need to be "defined" by something, as you say often their job and sometimes simply their car

ditchmyster

iTrader: (7)

Aha, the old 'Midlife Crisis' had mine a few years ago and what Swati says is true, Though if i'm honest I had one in my late twenties as well, for me it was being stuck in an office all day after coming off the tools and becoming a manager, I thought it was what I wanted much like TDW said about his peers, being successful in your career seems to be the goal to achieve but unfortunately once you are you realise it's not the be all and end all and it's actually better for some to earn less money doing something you enjoy.

I have not earned anything much to speak of in the past few years but never been happier plodding along plastering, plumbing, building stone walls is very therapeutic, currently building a stone extension and loving it, surroundings play a big part too, city life can be quite manic and the modern world always seems to have me "On Guard" out here in the middle of nowhere i'm completely relaxed and just get on with the task at hand as and when the weather permits, been raining for a few days so i've done next to bugger all .

As with all things I find it's about balance, finding that balance is the tricky part though, putting pressure on yourself is counter productive so I take the "Achievable Goals" approach with a flexible time frame, do what I want when I want and it will get done when it gets done.

**** it, life's too short to spend all of it marching to the beat of anothers drum, too much emphasis on material things and the appearance of success, For me success is when one's eyes are opened and you free yourself from being a slave to the machine.

Maz

iTrader: (34)

You've got some demons that need exorcising, not too dissimilar to my own frame of my mind at times. I don't think you've been 'at peace' mentally for some time now. Your desire to gain knowledge on topics that interest you is almost OCD. I feel the more you learn the less at ease you become. Your mind becomes polarised and your opinion or feeling towards a particular subject cemented. Far from gaining fulfillment from enriching your mind with information it has the opposite effect.
Someone once said, the man who knows everything knows he knows nothing at all. Perhaps we're over complicating our existence. As biological entities our concerns ought to be confined to food, shelter and safety. Everything else is a bonus. Strange isn't James, a decade ago we were discussing things like the injectors on a WRX RA. Now the subject is a little deeper.

Chip

Too deep, you only get out of life what you put into it, just lighten up get on with it.

jonc

Geez, this is becoming one of THE most depressing thread on SNR!! A job is just a means to an end!

JTaylor

Thanks for the counsel, guys, I'm sure it comes from a good place.

Lisawrx

iTrader: (1)

James, what do you want to do, or do you not know?

Turbohot

Christ! Do you ever sleep, Lisa???

I was up working quite late last night, and about 2:10am I saw that you were awake on the tinterbet, man. I eventually went to bed for about 4am, set the alarm for 12:30pm today to wake up, but my fatty the cat decided to pull my hair+ dance all over my duvet+ sleep on my head, so I had to get out of bed for 10. Lovely day, but my head felt like>


Anyway, I have had two Yorkshire teas by now, and my head feels awake. Time to get back to work. Big day tomorrow.

Have a good Sunday, everyone.

Turbohot

It's not that bad! A job is a job, very good. But it could do your head in if you aren't happy with it. It's a story of a lot of people out there. We have all felt like that at some point of our lives. Some talk about it, some don't.

Anyway, more tea, anyone?

Lisawrx

iTrader: (1)

A bit. I eventually got to bed around 3-ish after watching crap on the tele and playing about on internet for a bit. Set my alarm for 10.30 just so I didn't laze in bed too long, because I need to get sorted in the house. That's quite a bit of sleep for me, I'm used to 6 hours or less on a normal day.

I might have a nap later though, as I'm not at work today.

P.S. I'm on my second YT now, so feeling fresh as a daisy.

Turbohot

I'm on my third mug by now.

I didn't watch any telly yesterday. Today, not on anyone's back and call meself, just WFH flexibly on my own accord. All good fun. It means I can venture SN now and again to see if there's any life here, cook dinner here at home, feed people and cats, watch telly if I can be bothered with that, and chill out, basically. I love Sundays, but my Mondays are even better!

Yes, luckily my work is ok. Love is a strong word, but I would be in denial if I didn't use it to denote my real feeling for my work. All good.

JTaylor

If I really knew that, Lisa, I wouldn't have studied philosophy, but I've always been interested in education so something in that field appeals on the surface. Anyway, back on topic - I'm loaded.

f1_fan

iTrader: (9)

Not as simple as that for many people Chip! Just because that is your mantra and it works for you doesn't mean it works for everyone. James has already stated he had the good job, the car, the lifestyle, but something was missing. He now needs to find what that is.

Turbohot

http://www.education.gov.uk/get-into...-training/pgce

Just a year's course, and Bob's your uncle.

Turbohot

Chris, simple minds have simple solutions. Complex minds need more.

I'm not using the word 'simple' in a derogatory way. Simplicity is a boon, just that some aren't blessed with it.

jonc

Or other factors that just re-aligns your priorities and outlook to life, that being my kids for example.

Lisawrx

iTrader: (1)

Then, it is perhaps worthwhile exploring your options in that field. It doesn't necessarily have to be teaching in a school, unless of course that is something you wanted to do.

tony de wonderful

Not saying you are doing this per se, but I see many middle class parents turning parenting into a quasi-religious cause and making idols of their kids. It's a lot of pressure for kids. Do they really want or need you to live for (through?) them, to make them your 'everything'? Plus you have this whole status thing and veiled competition going on between parents especially the mums.

I see it from the outside so I suppose it's easy to sound superior.

Chip

Yes your right, I left school with Sweet FA in the way of qualifications as I messed around throughout my school years. On finishing school I also realised that unless I got my act together I would end up with nothing.

Only through hard work and determination did I manage to turn myself around and get to where I am today which in my mind is a pretty good place to be. In fact very good, couldn't be better.

Far too many people today seem to think the world owes them a favour. I'm not saying that about anyone in particular but perhaps some need to try and motivate themselves to get out of the rut that they have found themselves in, difficult I know, but it can be done.

Chip

Chris, I was directing my post at the way the thread was going in general rather than directly at James as you seem to think. If I do have a personal dig at someone like you it's just in banter, sorry if you thought otherwise.

Matteeboy

Have to say, SN is going through a vintage period the moment. Few snipes (for no reason), useful advice, etc. Almost unique among forums it seems.

Maz

iTrader: (34)

In searching for that missing thing it's easy to lose a lot more along the way. An old study revealed our general levels of happiness and contentment stay around the same during our lifetimes. This was compared in the lives of a lottery winner and someone who lost their legs in an accident. After the initial trauma/euphoria the general level of contentment stabilised to more or less what it was prior to the incidents occurring.

Turbohot

If he has done his full postgrad, he may have to learn/fortify his teaching skills with PGCE certificate for even higher education providing employers. I say 'have to', because most colleges and universities in England and Wales are now sending back even their chronic PhD holder professors to acquire a PGCE cert.

Turbohot

This is a very good post, actually. Parents that expect to live through their children, and make their children their 'everything' in a maladaptive way could be operating as controlling parents rather than nurturing ones due to their own insecurities.

f1_fan

iTrader: (9)

No worries and I wasn't digging back, just saying that some people find it hard to see why others are not happy.... you can put an awful lot in, get an awful lot back and still not be happy as what you are getting is not what you want!

Turbohot

True words, Sir. Very clearly put.

Chip

Fair point, obviously I'm just too simple to understand this

Turbohot

Look, Mowgli and Baloo sang 'simple bare necessities' in a positive way, and even someone like Gandhi aggrandised 'simple' with his 'simple living and high thinking' view.

Basically, nothing wrong with being 'simple' in that sense. You have a clarity with your needs in your life, which is brilliant, in fact.

I also like simple things in my life. That's the reason I'm now going to make my nice and simple mug of Yorkshire tea for the 5th time today! Dinner is on the go in the kitchen, so I shall check that too. All very simple.

God, this 'simple' talk has just started that song in my head- "Oh, simple thing, where have you gone...... I'm getting old and I need something to rely on........". FFS man.

f1_fan

iTrader: (9)

Swati,

Please please get some 'proper' tea

The rest of your post however is